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Thread: Wannabe Fame

  1. May 30th, 2005, 12:29 AM #1
    Da Grinda
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    Wannabe Fame

    I mean every single little word that I splurge
    So don't get mixed up cuz mixed feeling I do not deserve
    little bitches that be hatin on me
    just wait till the day I become famous and be on MTV
    I got people be tellin me that I ain't got the stuff
    that everytime I spit a verse they laugh "I've had enough"
    people be seein me rappin whisperin "he ain't tough"
    well why u whisperin motherfuckas, cuz I can get rough
    I got more power than power rangers that fierce color blue
    I go more crazy than Tommy Lee saw Pam Anderson nude
    I'm so selfish and ignorant, but I don't mean to be rude
    It's all these people who doubtin who put me into this mood
    Everyday I go through life thinkin that this could be it
    this could be the granddady of em all, could be the championship
    but then I sign on, logg on, and in 5 minutes I'm pissed
    I'm fuckin screamin "look at this, anotha mother fuckin diss"
    I'm passed mad, I'm bout to pass out from the reaction I just had
    lookin like some drunk teenage who had a fight with his dad
    look down at my computer, at a smiley face? He's glad
    that he got me mad, and all he did was call my piece bad
    now thats sad, that I can't get so worked up over nothin
    but it's because i'm really tryin thats the sad truth is I'm comin
    to make a statement, tryin to get into this rap game
    but all the people say the same, that I'm just a wanna be fame
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  2. May 30th, 2005, 12:37 AM #2
    Da Grinda
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    links :
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=197130

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=197391
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  3. May 30th, 2005, 01:13 PM #3
    Da Grinda
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    Uppin
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  4. May 30th, 2005, 03:23 PM #4
    Obseen
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    that everytime I spit a verse they laugh "I've had enough"
    people be seein me rappin whisperin "he ain't tough"

    liked that .

    I'm so selfish and ignorant, but I don't mean to be rude

    yeh that was nice.

    look down at my computer, at a smiley face? He's glad
    that he got me mad, and all he did was call my piece bad

    that was nice aswell bruv.

    to make a statement, tryin to get into this rap game
    but all the people say the same, that I'm just a wanna be fame

    liked the finisher aswell .

    yeh like the other guy sed ther were a few nice lines in here one thing i would say is make sure you rhyming words rhyme more sumtimes in you lines you cant identify the rhyming word nice piece thow stay up bruv -1- check for my post tomoz "the good days"
    Last edited by Obseen; May 30th, 2005 at 03:28 PM
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  5. May 30th, 2005, 03:43 PM #5
    sILLable
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    i thought this piece was tight,ill imagery,ill emotion,rhyme scheme was tight,good opener,i liked the ending,it had some metas,i thought it could use some more multis and maybe a little more complexity, structure was tight,all in all this piece was tight,keep droppin and elevatin.~1~


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  6. May 30th, 2005, 03:46 PM #6
    noncentz
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    i like the direct approach lacks battle style punches but very direct to the point so that i definetly feel you have to elivate but i must say the potential is there for alot
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..
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  7. May 30th, 2005, 04:23 PM #7
    Judge Judy
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    Hmmm.......

    A little weak, but i can see where your going and coming from.....Work on multis, and useage of better vocabulary and you will most certantly get better.

    Just keep dropping and elevating. Peace
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  8. May 30th, 2005, 05:09 PM #8
    Da Grinda
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    thnx, yea I gotta work on vocabulary, thnx
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  9. May 30th, 2005, 05:38 PM #9
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    ok here u got a good imagery not alot of usage of good vocabulary u can work on that had an ok word structure and there were some lines that seemed a little forced so try to work on that also u got potential and i can see u get way better so keep on elevatin and try to use more vocab so u can build with better rhymes with differnt words not the same old rhyme and rhyme everytime u know but keep on elevatin ok this was a decent piece but keep doin ur thing aight
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  10. May 30th, 2005, 09:40 PM #10
    Da Grinda
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    Thnx uppin, I will RTF
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  11. May 31st, 2005, 02:23 PM #11
    Da Grinda
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  12. May 31st, 2005, 02:54 PM #12
    Jerome
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    ILL verse i must say.....I could c u put sum thought in2 that verse.... O by tha way im new up here... il hit yall wit a verse later.....
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  13. May 31st, 2005, 02:54 PM #13
    gang$ta
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    woa... this was very tight
    i enjoyed it, this is what i like
    I loved the flow, i could read it so smooth
    and this is another thread puttin me in a mood
    a really good thing, i liked the rhymes alot
    This thread by you was hot-hot-hot!
    I liked the structure and it expressed ya feelins
    I felt the same way with ma first user name CJ
    I know alot knew me, but anyway
    this is a great drop, thats what i can say
    This was a 9/10(nine out of ten)
    I want to read another one by you again
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  14. May 31st, 2005, 06:59 PM #14
    Da Grinda
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    lol, it's a rapping responce, very creative. I'll take this one to heart, thnx
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  15. June 2nd, 2005, 02:23 PM #15
    Da Grinda
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