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Thread: Another one

  1. #1

    Another one

    yo its another one look

    i got this game tight like fat bitches in booty shorts/so hott put water on me now i smoke like newports/i got the sand man theory make niggas go to sleep/if i want they shoes ill break they fuckin feet/i heard alot of nigga go horizontal so they do sidetalk/u aint street bitch ass more like side walk/gettin hight like jack and the beanstalk/gettin really tipsy like when crack fiends walk/alot niggas is runnin they mouth/i got a boost,where u at,cuz im ight run in ur house/like babies bottoms they ass is soft/nigga lips like olmpics runnin so i might snatch em off

  2. #2
    Tell Me Wat U Think
    Am I Worthy Or Not
    Im Cool Aslong As U Say Somethin

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

  4. #4
    wat do u mean bye that credz

  5. #5
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    PHOENIX
    Age
    37
    Posts
    4
    Battle Record
    0-1
    homie ur rap style is wack u sound like us on crack
    call me BIZZY1 wen u catch up on ur zzzzz ima creep up deep slith ur throat n mak u wish u were my aprentice
    after dat u bout to go to da dentist
    u say dat got game man ill put ur name 2 shame while i collect all da fame c hip hop is dead n umm u responsible for killin it n theres a whole lot of niggas feeelin me

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    You need to reply to 2 open mics and tell what you thought about them, tell what they could improve on, just tell what you think really.. Then copy and paste the link to the thread into this thread here.

    But if you dont know how to copy and paste a link then just leave the persons name and title of the thread.

  7. #7
    The True Psycho of RB
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    My Own Mind
    Age
    41
    Posts
    3,164
    Battle Record
    1-0
    If youve only just started writing this was ok but nothing in the verse stands out the punches are pretty weak if you want props your gonna have to come up with some killer punches. The flow was poor the structure was ok the vocab was below average so you need to just write more and more rhymes and sooner or later you'll learn different flows and styles which will improve your rhymes.

    Return the favour:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185131

  8. #8
    momo
    Guest
    ha nigga u need to bus back rep what u doin this for dog your ryme was sort of soft homie, step your game up dog.

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