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Thread: Self-Centered... (from a battle)

  1. April 10th, 2005, 03:54 PM #1
    Incineratedrose
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    Self-Centered... (from a battle)

    Isaiah this! Psalms that! Books of the bible, and not one knowledgable,
    Has anyone really analyzed the bible? None of it is logical!
    Then once we question, the tongue lashing launches,
    “You betrayer of Christ!” and we are fed bullshit responses,
    You cannot answer a secular question with a non-secular event,
    Searching for answers, the books are just filled with shit content,
    My descent is padded by cries, from my family’s eyes, shrieks pop out,
    Because if “if I don’t believe, I’m going to hell” what a fucking cop out,
    So I pick up this “ancient text” and lose patience with the attempt at intelligence,
    Where is the relevance? It’s hard to absorb, what is SO easy to ignore, tell me this:
    Has anyone ever seen a miracle? Or are they just word of mouth,
    And why doesn’t god help society, the world is absurd by now,
    So please, go to your church, and talk to the priest / pastor / WHATEVER!
    There is so many religions competing, and WE need to get our shit together?
    I find it ridiculous; religion in itself is the biggest hypocrite,
    I’m conspicuous, is religion along with Jesus blind?… or just ignorant.
    I’ve seen hell, and believe it… it’s what we call “earth”
    Adam and Eve fucked us? The Savior should have resolved it at birth!
    But it all lead to death, if he knew he was going to die, why let it happen?
    He was human! Same emotions, and he let them attack him!
    Who would want that? Answer that, Jesus might have been a good mentor,
    But was this man really a god… or was he just self-centered…
    MondoThugs.

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  2. April 10th, 2005, 03:58 PM #2
    Incineratedrose
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...40#post2275840
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...57#post2275857
    Last edited by incineratedrose; April 10th, 2005 at 04:02 PM
    MondoThugs.

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  3. April 10th, 2005, 03:58 PM #3
    Johnny 6-feet
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    i sig the concept man, and the execution was pretty good as well. it read more like angry poetry than a hip-hop verse but i thought that was a good thing. solid vocab and rhymes, although multi's would've helped i think. decent imagery as well. just a solid verse all round.

    keep posting.

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  4. April 10th, 2005, 04:02 PM #4
    Incineratedrose
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    thank you very much..
    MondoThugs.

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  5. April 10th, 2005, 04:55 PM #5
    Mimesis.
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    You should show your dad and grandma this. They would be proud.

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  6. April 10th, 2005, 04:55 PM #6
    .Xtenkae.
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    Incineratedrose.


    Everything i read from u is dope man and i read this one it was real dope i liked ur rhyming ur structure and ur flow theres nothing bad to say about it but Good Job.
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  7. April 10th, 2005, 05:00 PM #7
    Incineratedrose
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daedal
    You should show your dad and grandma this. They would be proud.
    yeah, they love religious bashing.
    MondoThugs.

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  8. April 10th, 2005, 05:12 PM #8
    Mimesis.
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    Word. I love when grandma starts pushing down the church row when I don't go up for communion. It warms my heart like no other.

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  9. April 10th, 2005, 05:20 PM #9
    Incineratedrose
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    yeah..

    you wanna lead feedage or what?
    MondoThugs.

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  10. April 10th, 2005, 05:29 PM #10
    Mimesis.
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    Nah, not really. I just felt like updating you on my heart warmth status.

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  11. April 10th, 2005, 05:34 PM #11
    Paragon
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    pretty good. i'm been feeling anti-religious as well. i liked the way it all came together and i liked your rhymes. i agree that it seemed like angry poetry - but it can also be seen as poetic rap haha. keep this stuff up.
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  12. April 10th, 2005, 05:46 PM #12
    Germ
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    yeah, i was feeling this, obviously you have a talent for this....i found the structure obstructed the flow too often....but the message you sent across made up for it. i thought you could have worded some lines better than what you had.....some lines were really good and spoke alot of truth, but then the next line would be just a filler or something. but overall, this was a really good piece, you had alot of great ideas, mostly everyone can relate to this (except those hardcore religious bastards) which is a good way to write, so, in closing, keep up dawg

    fav lines:
    I find it ridiculous; religion in itself is the biggest hypocrite,
    I’m conspicuous, is religion along with Jesus blind?… or just ignorant.
    Who would want that? Answer that, Jesus might have been a good mentor,
    But was this man really a god… or was he just self-centered…

    there was more, but i typed enough already....

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  13. April 10th, 2005, 05:52 PM #13
    Incineratedrose
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    ^thanks, i'll be sure to hit up your links.
    MondoThugs.

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  14. April 10th, 2005, 08:52 PM #14
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    Decent peace, Flow was off, So was te rhyme scheme. Overall it was average I guess. Keep droppin.
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  15. April 10th, 2005, 10:52 PM #15
    Incineratedrose
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    maybe you need to re-read it.

    because the flow works, try reading it out loud.
    MondoThugs.

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