False Memories

[Vikkie™]

Verse:
Something is different,Everything is repeating itself
I'm seeing the lamp from last night fall off the shelf
When at midnight it was broke,What's going on with me
Nothing is what it seems,the walls are speaking clearly
Like they had lips I'm reading everything they've said
"Time to go to home & I'll see you later if your not in bed"
What is this no one is here but I'm hearing their words
My head hurts & my mind is splittin like wet planks & boards
This has to be a dream but everything is so real so what is it
I've just taken nyquil so they may be the cause of this shit
But wait I'm not down with the flu so my head is gettin sick thoughts
My body is shuttin down it must fear bein shut off or bein caught
My knees are weak as I walk across the balcony,time to awaken..
......The man within but I'm still drowsy from the soul thats been taken
Someone please help me,no one comes,I'm now falling in a swirl of
Lights this must be the E.R. but theres no doctors for the cause
I finaly come to,it must been my mind playing tricks but I see a figure
It's vivid but the face is blurry,the GrimReaper he waits to tell me......
.............................I was gone but my answering machine heard ya

[AJ Diablo]

aw shit homie. i felt tha loneliness inside my heart come out. Yo keep that shit up cuz when i hear yo topicals they play on tha ppl's emotions n that wat its all about homies. keep it up

[AL CAPONE]

yea good man very deep i like those kind of verses good vocab but work a little more on word structure and a little more also on flow but everything else was good keep workin and it will be perfect aight omie verse rate 8.0/10

[Incineratedrose]

it wasn't that good.. plus you shouldnt do the "Verse:" cuz, it's pretty obvious that it is your verse without that.. so whatever... but anyway.. the rhyming could have been better, and the writers voice just wasnt good at all, work on those.. and i think you will be alright.

[Vikkie™]

Thanx everyone even Rose
The cruel honesty of Still_Remain's to be here always good to know

[Magus]

you did good homie... try battlin some of thoses upper class people meanin 4 wins or more if you can it will really help you get better also spit more out loud it will help when you write

[Mistral]

you need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, thanks.