Falling Salellites: Project Hammer-Bang

[Chris Black]

Falling Satellite..

.....Project Hammer-Bang
Satellite Number: 832.12.3469
Programer: James Trig
Mission: Psychiatric Inducement
Target: Hampton Manchester
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Holding a nine: I’m not in full control of my mind .
The hypodermic needle left a tingly jolt in my spine.
Trig made my focus entwine with his spoken design-
To devote all my time to getting at H. Manchester
My hand’s severed from my mind’s broken enzymes.
Enzymes broken by my programer - It’s not my will
So for my programer: I kill . . . yet I feel hurt inside
So, deep in my brain, I battle this jerk with pride
It’s futile; Trig’s a monster - I can’t outwork his mind
And It’s not long before I feel his smirk ..in mine
He used my voce to say “Ha, you can’t stop me!”
Then won the mental game & took control of my body

Now I’m trapped in my own skin - A slave to him
Made to sin, and slay the men that he hates, and when-
I’m finally inside of Hampton Manchester’s room-
I try to fight it, but I know that I’m next to doom..

With my gun at Manchester’s old head, I spoke dread:
“Realize that my 4's lead would leave you so dead
If I chose to blow instead, of use a hammer to induce you”
They were Trig’s words - Crazy how he could use dudes.
I was a prisoner in my body - I couldn’t survive - few do
So with my arm, he pulled a hammer with a sick smirk
He started to use my own hand to hit me - The shit hurt
Beating myself in the head, and trust me - it gets worse
As he used me to pummel myself more - This Jerk!
I feel every blow, as my blood splatters on Hampton
Then I drop the Hammer, just to grab the handgun
“This is a warning! You only get 1. It’s not a game, pal”
My mouth moved & those are the words that came out
Then I bit the tip of the gun and blew my own brain - POW!
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Satellite > noun 3. An entity separate from another entity, but controlled by it.

Newscaster: Today, a man walked into Com Cast CEO, Hampton Manchester’s office. The man pulled a gun, then a hammer and proceeded to beat himself in the head until he was a bloody mess. At that point, he put his gun in his mouth and fired. This is believed to be a warning, sent from a man only known as “The Programmer”......

[Chris Black]

Writer's Note: I'm still trying to shake off rust. I was given an ass topic and tried to do something with it. I gat lazy in the third stanza. Hop you like it.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176361
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176365

-W1

[Na~Ledge]

That was a ill drop....seriously. Great story...just ozzed with originality. Vocab was not eye popping but the storyline read so well that it wan't really needed. Imagery was crazy. Definatly a good read.

P.S.- might be a good idea to write a follow up to this. if u do pm me. I'll be lookin for it and ur other work.



Return the Favor. Check the Sig.

[Komatose]

ay black, nice work son. you crafted that together quite nicely. it was definetly an interesting topic to choose and i enjoyed reading it. nice job. if you could return the favor and vote on one of my battles at the bottom of my sig id appreciate it.

[Baron Mynd]

Whats a Salellite .. ?

[Chris Black]

Returned all favors. Baron.. Die.

[warchild]

Nice verse, original topic and you just started well and kept it consistent which is always important in story rhymes.
There was good emotion in the rhymes and they were very descriptive.
The structure vocab and flow were all good so overall a dope verse.

[AbusivE]

this was a good drop, topic was kinda wierd.. but you came very detailin in every line, wich made it a good read.. multis were pretty decent. vocab was also good, except it seemed a bit hard to understand at some points, but maybe im just stupid.. but word, the story in this was dope.. emotion was good, and everything else was good.. this was a good read, the topic was a bit different, but it was original.. nice drop

[K9_THESHIT]

weird.....but good.an original idea,licked the way ya started with yar "Satellite Number...".ya stayd on topic all the time,which again was good cuz the story is dope.some nice multis and worldplay olso.what i liked the most about it was the details,somethin' like ya can feal how it must've been readin it.and that's not easy to do.good drop!

please return the fav
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176263

[Foreshadow]

Damn wicked it looks like your getting it all back very fast. Its good to see you active but its to bad euth died. But i thought that this was a great piece and it had loads of information but not tons of info like bounces pieces but this was ncie the details were good and it made this piece a really good read.

[Baron Mynd]

Lol.

I didnt read it, but the Hammer-Bang thing sounds shit. Change that. If I get a chance, i'll read through it. No time atm ..

[Chris Black]

Quit posting in my shit, white negro.

-W1

[Deviate]

This was a nice piece... I enjoyed reading it. Again it was nice to see a slightly different subject matter to your standard piece you find generally. You wrote well in this with good vocab and maintained a good flow throughout. You also had a good approach to the topic and stuck to it well. There isn't much more for me to say except keep it up!

If you could check out a piece I'm dropping later I'd appreciate it.

Peace

[KªL¡]

VERY NICE, WAS FEELING THE FLOW TO IT.....THE TOPIC WAS COOL, SEEING IT WAS 1 2 WRK WITH, NAH MEEN. BUT THIS WAS HOTT, ENJOYED READING IT......I MEAN SOME PLACES I FELT DROPPED OFF, BUT YOU PICKED RIGHT UP AGAIN.......HOLLA

PLZ VOTE ON MY BATTLES...DECENT FEEDBACK A MUST
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176857
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176588
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176852