TR - I should have stayed dead

[TR's Alias]

Doc, I heard the last thing you said
If your tone is any note I should’ve stayed dead
Death, hurry and come claim me
So these people I love can stop complaining

I can’t sleep so I flirt with the overnight crew
And it hurts to see the sight of the bearer of bad news
Now I’m used to getting probed and prodded
But I’ll never make a muscle to see my skin blotted
Beside me I can see a couple Hallmark cards
Yet nothing from some people I held in high regard
I asked my sister and she did her best to reach you
I can’t believe I open my eyes and still haven’t seen you

Doc, I heard the last thing you said
If your tone is any note I should’ve stayed dead
Death, hurry and come claim me
So these people I love can stop complaining

Those who worried; I apologize
Those who are saddened; I sympathize
Those who cried; I visualized
Those who were afraid; I epitomized

[TR's Alias]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...53#post2134053
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...66#post2134066

[Born To Kill]

Dope shit, TR...

Honestly...prolly one of ya best. Deep...

Man, I didn't know you were going through anything.

I hope it all goes as you need it to, man.

Peace and much respect/net-love!

[mel_dacityboy]

yo that was tight it does sound like u going through some things there is no better way than to express it by writin it was tight though.

[Illus']

Ok.....


Can see the emotional part in your
chorus there...Was short so there
isn't that much I can say..Your first
few lines were somewhat touching..
Due do the fact that it reminds
me of someone....My critique is
you should have written way more...
Other then that for a short piece ,
yeah you had good emotion man....

Keep writing..

[young ryda]

that was really deep, i like the emotion it let off no doubt u got some shit goin down well that make two of us.. stay strong

-ryda

[Dan Dare]

I'm very glad to hear you're alright. Or, for now at least.

This is a tight piece, man. I loved that ending. Liked the hook. The main body of the verse had a simple rhyme sceme, but that didn't matter at all, it was an emotional piece of writing. I would like to see something longer though, my only real criticism. Keep at it though, this was deep, as was expected.

Reply, if you get a spare chance: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175151

[poetic warfare]

elevate and achieve

[spokenoh]

The last few days I have been wondering about nominating this. I think I should.

[Chris Black]

Lol@ "But It Did Happen". Decent shit, homie. Good to see you around and active.

-W1

[Sublime D]

im glad your alive..i did what i could to find out some info..no one told me anything..so, i prayed for you...and im glad you're ok...

and this is a nice piece...
truth.

[Tim]

this was a nice deep piece as everyone else said glad to see you are alright and welcome back

[SimonSays]

This piece made me sad.........

"Beside me I can see a couple Hallmark cards
Yet nothing from some people I held in high regard
I asked my sister and she did her best to reach you
I can’t believe I open my eyes and still haven’t seen you"

*sighs* That hit me hard....this piece was simply great.

[Issue]

This was nice man, simple but very effective.

Overall, this piece cant come near the emotion you must be feeling, but it was some deep emotional shit.
I cant get over how simple it was put together, it seemed like nothing but I was pretty much blown away while reading it.

This is some hot shit man, Im lad you'r ok... Things will get better if you'r feeling like this piece says.

Overall 9/10
Simple Great.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176702
Check out my piece if you would... Thanks

[Issue]

And wow at the same comment being made 'simply great' at the same time.

obviously what this piece is.