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Thread: My Brain Is For Rent

  1. February 26th, 2005, 09:21 PM #1
    Ike Ill.
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    My Brain Is For Rent

    I wake up, 20 floors above covered in drool and an axe in my mother
    Toes are in a cup, eyes in the tub and her breasts on the bed covers.
    I wonder... Horror crashes my head as I piece together what happened
    Last night she told me she didnt know my father, I broke down saddened.
    That dad I was living with, was really just some guy ordering me around
    The same man that beat my mom... Did drugs and beat me to the ground?!
    As bad as it sounds... I didnt have anyone to blame so my heart went sore
    & what a bitch... My mom left to nevada to get drugs shes a crack whore
    We're poor, but I didnt care when I was young... Not knowing what truth is
    To be feeble enough to believe I wasnt a mistake was so fucking FOOLISH!!
    The cruelest of punishments, I didnt deserve shit but definately not this
    So I choked my father using the same chain he used to beat me with.
    Well now its over, you've been forgiven and my pain has been avenged
    But when that bitch gets back from work an apartment was the end.
    Went out back, broke the henge and got the axe out for that hoe
    Left pops back under the bed, poored gasoline and turned on the stove.
    Mom showed... "Hey sweety im home!" and noticed dad's leg under the bed
    I rushed her out front... "get back in the car.... Now." I said.
    She was scared, I was too... I never thought this shit could ever be
    My knife on my mom's leg and she completely frightened of me.
    We pulled into the an inn, I could already see that she was tearing
    I laughed at her face... said "get a room slut", my throat was clearing.
    Its me she's fearing, she came out early "I just got us a room... son"............
    "WELL DID YOU THINK OF THAT BEFORE?! OR WAS YOUR CRACK FOR FUN?!"
    I broke down, we walked in together inside sobbing.. Axe in my hand bag
    She shut the door, opened my case and I told her to stand back.
    I got the rope, got behind her and tied her hands up... Taped her mouth
    Got out my knife, tied her to the bed, legs open... She tried to shout.
    I fucked her.... Hard... I stood up to her yet was lowered to her height
    Though I was crying... I want to let you know I fucked her with a knife.
    After she was done... her aroma, musty and dried, my breath spent
    I remembered with pried... Even though my brain was for rent.........

    Joka... you'll always feel me. love....
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  2. February 26th, 2005, 09:34 PM #2
    Vikkie™
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    This was good..scary but dope...
    wordplay-good
    complexity-good
    horror-good
    detailed issues-good
    point of view-good
    story-good

    Thanx bruh i can relate to this..the killing not the fucking with titties on the bed covers
    Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
    90% How You React To It.
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  3. February 26th, 2005, 09:45 PM #3
    noncentz
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    over all this had minor flaw but that was it over all a real interesting read props twin
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..
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  4. February 26th, 2005, 09:46 PM #4
    AbusivE
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    *readin*

    some lines seem a bit stretched...i seen some multis, not as much as their could be but they were still decent...emotion was strong, you came detailin with it...seemed half story tellin, nice... havin cussin in every few lines took emotion away for me, but thats just me.. but overal this was a very good peice, enjoyed readin it... good drop!
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  5. February 26th, 2005, 10:23 PM #5
    Hood Tactics*
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    interesting post... i like the creativity and rhyming scheme

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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  6. February 26th, 2005, 11:20 PM #6
    chuck taylor.
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    ahah this is a LOL topic but nice shit my nicca, as i alwayz read from u.. im on the same shit az joka yo
    1
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  7. February 26th, 2005, 11:39 PM #7
    Mistral
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    You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.
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  8. February 27th, 2005, 08:14 AM #8
    Deviate
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    I really liked this piece... It was kinda scary but that just is testimony to your writing skill. You wrote with emotion, good vocabulary and told a good story. Some lines were slightly pushed but overall it was good... Illustrated a good talent you have for this. Only advice I can give is to change the structure a little, make it easier on the eye.

    Worrying but very good.

    If you could check out "Blind to Reality?" in my sig I'd appreciate it...

    Peace
    Po'Ethics Lives
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  9. February 27th, 2005, 08:20 AM #9
    Ndustrial Minded
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    yeah man this shit was pretty good
    i loved the topic lol
    very creative man
    good job
    keep droppin more like these dawg
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  10. February 27th, 2005, 10:23 AM #10
    Ike Ill.
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    Thanks Everyone... A lot of this shit really happened to me.

    Oh and Credz:

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=2118113

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=2118120

    Pz.
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  11. February 28th, 2005, 02:32 AM #11
    Ike Ill.
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    please more feedback....
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  12. February 28th, 2005, 01:58 PM #12
    young ryda
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    ok first it was nice shti but the topic was scary as hell God damn man some sicj shit lol ill

    -ryda
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  13. February 28th, 2005, 03:18 PM #13
    Rekween
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    best one ive read so far, no exceptions.
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  14. February 28th, 2005, 06:25 PM #14
    Ike Ill.
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    Thanks. Uppin more feedback!!!
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  15. February 28th, 2005, 09:05 PM #15
    Ike Ill.
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    More Feedb4ck please.
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