16 Throwed Bars!!!!!!!!!

[Lady Redd]

16 Throwed Bars!!!!!!!!!
Playah my 20's keep on twistin' i'm flippin' tha expedition,
Hennessey is wut i'm sippin' so i'm slouchin while i'm sittin',
Stay dippin' pimpin' and grinnin' plus grippin tha wood and ribbon,
Intentions of causin' tension fa bitches thinkin' they winnin',
I'm serious bout my bizness not wantin' nobody in it,
A mission fa 7 digits delirious wit harm intended,
A feelin' is wut i'm feelin' so can i please get a witness,
4-gettin these niggaz trippin' i'm chillin' stackin my riches,
Hataz faka then a movie leave me hangin' from suspension,
4 attendance ya'll suspended tha limit ta get up in it,
Can I do it I done did it flip tha script and stackin papah,
Got no love 4 a playa that play a song without no flavah,
Break a Bitch and pull a capa pistol packin' money makah,
Who we are we dem stars that'll trip if irritated,
Underated now I made so u know I'm from tha souf,
Where if ya slip den i'mma flip and straight knock a nigga out,

Let me know how ya'll feelin dis!!!!!!!!

[Lady Redd]

Halla at cha guh,
Lemme know how ya'll like dis!!!!!

[Lady Redd]

Lookin' 4 opinions......

[Lady Redd]

Anyone????

[conquistador]

this was hella good....excuse me miss but let me alert you on the reality of RB. We don't like good rappers, because they aren't good targets for ridicule and they aren't very funny. Nobody wants to reply to your thread because you were good....believe it or not. It was cam'ronish but it worked for you.........I hope you decide to post in the cypher and stop fucking with this open mic shit

[Lady Redd]

Oh Aight, Thanx 4 lettin' me know dat!!!!

[Ike Ill.]

Was pretty good, the multis made it very nice.

Not gonna levae much feedback, isnt much to ridicule.

So uhh, nice drop. You didnt have a specific topic so im gonna leave it at that.

[Lady Redd]

Thanx, 4 ya opinion!!!!
Anyone Else????

[Krazy-k]

16 Throwed Bars!!!!!!!!!
Playah my 20's keep on twistin' i'm flippin' tha expedition,
Hennessey is wut i'm sippin' so i'm slouchin while i'm sittin',
Stay dippin' pimpin' and grinnin' plus grippin tha wood and ribbon,
Intentions of causin' tension fa bitches thinkin' they winnin',
I'm serious bout my bizness not wantin' nobody in it,
A mission fa 7 digits delirious wit harm intended,
A feelin' is wut i'm feelin' so can i please get a witness,
4-gettin these niggaz trippin' i'm chillin' stackin my riches,
Hataz faka then a movie leave me hangin' from suspension,
4 attendance ya'll suspended tha limit ta get up in it,
Can I do it I done did it flip tha script and stackin papah,
Got no love 4 a playa that play a song without no flavah,
Break a Bitch and pull a capa pistol packin' money makah,
Who we are we dem stars that'll trip if irritated,
Underated now I made so u know I'm from tha souf,
Where if ya slip den i'mma flip and straight knock a nigga out,

Let me know how ya'll feelin dis!!!!!!!!

Yea im feelin dat it was hot but kind of commercial u hot though we should battle though

[Lady Redd]

KrazyK aight letz do it!!!!!

[CrazyCarl]

I liked the multis in the beginning, it worked to catch the reader's attention, which is important in posting in open mic. Had some good vocab, and nice concepts, good drop.

[Lady Redd]

This was a throwed 16.....
Halla lemme know if ya'll feelin' dis........

[warchild]

It was decent but no lines really grabbed me.
The structure and vocab were fine your flow could improve but i think your biggest problem is punchlines and metaphors if you want props try to come up with some sick punchlines or metaphors.

Return the favour reply to my new post.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175058