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Thread: Writer's Block

  1. #1
    Newbie IsLaNdRoOtZ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Virginia
    Age
    35
    Posts
    26

    Writer's Block

    check dis shit out....

    ….I paint a picture with my mind, thought, rhymes, and my pen….
    ….Again and again I haven’t ever brought it together to begin….
    ….Staring at my blank page, mindless, with no thought on the brink….
    ….I’m out of focus in silent rage when I don’t stop to think….
    ….I look up from my notebook, look to the left, to the right….
    ….I think I got something! Sike, fuck it yo scribble it out….
    …. Crumple this shit up, whenever your in any doubt….
    ….I put my pen to the paper but still nothing comes out.…
    ….I ain’t got no clue on what to I’m gonna write about….
    ….I’m like the bubble boy who really never could get out….
    ….I’m about to shout, cotton mouth, from lyrical drought….
    ….My faucet’s been turned off, nothing coming through, no flow…
    ….Although, a while ago, I used to be able to reach the plateau….
    ….Unorganized thoughts, messy page, mind fills with fright….
    ….Internal organs hurt from poppin pills to write all night….
    ….I’m going amok, struck with ill luck, no more can I bare….
    ….I hear three knocks on my door and wake from my nightmare….

    thanks for lookin gimme sum feedback plz

    peace
    jesus died at age 33
    theres 33 shots from twin glocks
    theres 16 apiece thats 32
    which means one of my guns was holdin 17
    27 hitcha crew
    6 went into u
    --nas
    --one mic

  2. #2
    The True Psycho of RB
    Join Date
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    you need to leave 2 links or this post will get closed.
    i thought this was decent nothing more.
    the structure was good your flow was average.
    it was a good topic and you had some decent lines.
    but overall it was just decent, keep writing and you'l improve.

    hit this up.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167404

  3. #3
    Banned
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    Mifflinburg, PA
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    you need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

  4. #4
    Reinventing Illness TheReinvention's Avatar
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    Pretty tight man, good job. You could improve on vocab, but very good. Keep dropping..

    7.4/10
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  5. #5
    This was ok, i liked this line a lot...

    I’m about to shout, cotton mouth, from lyrical drought….

    ...But i was feeling your structure when your lines were set like this...

    I don't see the point to that, anyways keep droppin son

    Please drop feed on mine
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167239

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