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Thread: Little Soldiers

  1. January 25th, 2005, 08:13 AM #1
    LM
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    Little Soldiers

    I wrote this for my 3 younger brothers

    Title: Little Soldiers

    [Verse 1]
    When I see them lips tremble I fear them tears
    And no matter how it appears I'm right here
    Over the years your ears have heard so much
    So I'm here if you ever need a loving touch
    It's such a shame, our lives have been tough
    But I got no regrets coz I cant love ya'll enough
    There's been so much stuff we try to keep hidden
    But it's clear to see, like happyness is forbidden
    I didnt mean to take my problems out on you
    I'm sorry, it's somethin I should never ever do
    And I've grew up now, wow.....I'm an adult now
    I'll build bridges with you if you show me how
    Coz I couldnt allow you to come to any harm
    I just wanna protect you, take you in my arms

    [Chorus - Sing]
    So little soldiers dont you ever cry
    Yeah it rains but the Sun still shines
    And I know sometimes we hurt inside
    But through it all we're gon' be alright
    Coz for you my arms are open wide
    Come here, big bro's gon' hold you tight

    [Verse 2]
    I dread to think back to all the tears we've shed
    'Lee's my hero', yeah Micheal thats what you said
    We got good times ahead of us, and I aint liein
    Coz never again will I sit up night after night cryin
    I'm dryin my eye's defying the hurt and the pain
    I try to maintain a calmness, it drives me insane
    It's hard to explain coz sometimes I wanna scream
    But ya'll my dream, ya'll just give me self esteem
    It seems no-matter how hard life is, we'll survive
    Coz I've been through it......I took a nose dive
    But ya'll revive me, I'm still alive, I'm on the move
    And it's cool, coz I know that things will improve
    I'm a prove that I can make it and be a provider
    Life is full of surprises, my destiny is the decider

    [Chorus - Sing]
    So little soldiers dont you ever cry
    Yeah it rains but the Sun still shines
    And I know sometimes we hurt inside
    But through it all we're gon' be alright
    Coz for you my arms are open wide
    Come here, big bro's gon' hold you tight

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167284
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167190
    Last edited by LM; January 25th, 2005 at 08:15 AM
    LM
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  2. January 25th, 2005, 08:43 AM #2
    Genetic Carnage
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    I was definetly feeling that. Nice job. The flow was good. 8/10
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  3. January 25th, 2005, 09:42 AM #3
    warchild
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    you need to leave 2 links on here or this will get shut down.
    this was a decent drop, the structure was good the flow was ok.
    but it was the message in the song that shined through 2 me, i like the deeper rhymes so i thought this was good.

    return the favour.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167404
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  4. January 25th, 2005, 11:01 AM #4
    Jonezy
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    Really like this man, you said you were working on new shit
    glad to see it was decent, liked your opproach here.
    it was a personal piece, and you made it real emotional
    thought it was an enjoyable read for me, vocab wasnt
    dope, but you used your words well and pulled of a 'real'
    nice piece

    good stuff Lee
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  5. January 25th, 2005, 11:14 AM #5
    Ndustrial Minded
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    man this was good....really feelin ya here......flow was good...structure.....not too much wrong with it...just a good drop ya know like jonezy said.....really good to read this keep droppin this man....awesome
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  6. January 25th, 2005, 12:12 PM #6
    Novacain
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    I liked the first verse better, and the chorus was fine, but I think the 2nd verse lacked the same emotion.

    Maybe bcoz your first verse, it showed a style which reminds me of my own...
    It also got deeper in my opinion, great lines and emotion.

    I also liked the idea of Little Soldiers, tho its like Toy Soldiers, it fits well with the piece.

    Maybe we could collab sumtime man, good job

    Hit this up 4 me to
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167239
    Thanks a lot
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  7. January 25th, 2005, 01:20 PM #7
    LM
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    Thanks for the feedback so far...

    Uppin for more
    LM
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  8. January 25th, 2005, 01:26 PM #8
    Jai-Cee
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    This was a nice peice...

    Held a lot of emotion, and some nice imagery...

    Could have used some internals and also some multis to aid the flow a little bit... As well as some more vocab...

    Overall nice drop... Be good to hear in audio...

    Peace
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  9. January 26th, 2005, 06:35 AM #9
    LM
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  10. January 26th, 2005, 07:25 PM #10
    IwIlLmErKyOu
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    hey man i was feeling this piece. nice flow, structure and everything. keep it for real....peace
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  11. January 27th, 2005, 04:11 AM #11
    LM
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    Ok can I have some more detailed feedback...

    Uppin
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  12. January 27th, 2005, 04:11 PM #12
    LM
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  13. January 27th, 2005, 04:15 PM #13
    STAT$
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    This was real nice......I was feelin it......everything looked good
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