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  1. December 29th, 2004, 01:05 PM #1
    warchild
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    untitled

    life is like a guillotine so to me its odd
    picture me pacing on a portal smoking weed with god
    look at jesus sulking in the background
    marys in labour again but she dont like the rap sound
    but she got no choice when shes in my presence
    my good deeds go unnoticed and my sins cry vengence
    im lyrical but you aint heard of the cycle
    your rhymes only appear real like the words of the bible
    i just dropped down from hell and fell on deaf ears
    so i cut em open and constantly stress peers
    take em way beyond their boiling points
    the bad omens buried in my weed are spoiling joints
    when im gone there'll be nothing physical left for me
    except the deepest jewels from my lyrical legacy
    my depression and my doom are daily but am i nervous? NEVER
    dont delude ya self im one of the best to put these words together

    i wrote this earlier on its the first verse ive wrote for three weeks ive had major writers block. ive been trying to get back to my animated but deeper rhymes. hit me with replies criticism wellcome but dont hate cause i think this is a dope verse.

    links
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=162356
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=162688
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  2. December 29th, 2004, 01:11 PM #2
    Chronic Cancer
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    tight good verbal.....good...ever up for a colabo? Holla at me...

    -One-
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    HNR Reppin
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  3. December 29th, 2004, 01:50 PM #3
    warchild
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    yeah im ready for a collabo how the hell do i go about it i aint a big net head i just know how to post my verses on here not how to get our verses together help me out.
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  4. December 29th, 2004, 02:02 PM #4
    MC-Snoop
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    it makes me feel i need to practice a lot more lol
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=161750
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...87#post1944287
    <img src="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=14648&stc=1">
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  5. December 29th, 2004, 02:06 PM #5
    Hailstorm
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    Wow. that was sick. i have really nuttin to complain about except I didnt get what the story was
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  6. December 29th, 2004, 02:41 PM #6
    warchild
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    a lot of my rhymes are like this just animated and weird you know, but i know wat im talking about in the verse its a song im working on so i got another 2 verses to work on, thanks for the replies uppin 4 more.
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  7. December 29th, 2004, 02:58 PM #7
    Johnny 6-feet
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    tight multi's, interesting topic with a cryptic type meaning. good work man. hope to read more from you.

    keep posting.

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  8. December 29th, 2004, 03:44 PM #8
    Split-eyez
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    nice piece... flowed well, but it seemed a bit off structure here and there, but I guess that's where that 'animated' thing of yours pops in.
    love to read more, so keep 'm comin'

    pz
    Much too dangerous
    Meet the perfect stranger
    I'm the extreme case of fire and anger
    The misguided angel with deep routed fears
    My face shows the years of blood sweating tears
    Pay attention, this gypsy that deeply senses
    Evil spirits lurking behind picket fences
    Embarking darker images and skeletal remains
    Cold hearted soldier with ice in his veins
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  9. December 30th, 2004, 08:59 AM #9
    warchild
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    uppin for replies i need more feedback.
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  10. December 30th, 2004, 02:41 PM #10
    CrazyCarl
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    The writer's block didn't show in the final product. I likes the flow for this. I'm interested in the animated and weird rhymes you're talkin about, so keep postin. Thanks for the feedback ya gave me on my piece.
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  11. December 31st, 2004, 10:03 PM #11
    Charli Brown
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    Quote Originally Posted by warchild
    life is like a guillotine so to me its odd
    picture me pacing on a portal smoking weed with god
    look at jesus sulking in the background
    marys in labour again but she dont like the rap sound
    but she got no choice when shes in my presence
    my good deeds go unnoticed and my sins cry vengence
    im lyrical but you aint heard of the cycle
    your rhymes only appear real like the words of the bible
    i just dropped down from hell and fell on deaf ears
    so i cut em open and constantly stress peers
    take em way beyond their boiling points
    the bad omens buried in my weed are spoiling joints
    when im gone there'll be nothing physical left for me
    except the deepest jewels from my lyrical legacy
    my depression and my doom are daily but am i nervous? NEVER
    dont delude ya self im one of the best to put these words together

    i wrote this earlier on its the first verse ive wrote for three weeks ive had major writers block. ive been trying to get back to my animated but deeper rhymes. hit me with replies criticism wellcome but dont hate cause i think this is a dope verse.

    links
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=162356
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=162688
    Writer's block nuthin, yo the key to this rap shit is keepin it simple & plain the vocab and vicious, lyrical contents will fall into place: hittin yo audio audience like a slap in da face, its my right hand u taste, spit the written wit high velocity, blank u out ,watch u cry wit anamosity.... feel me!!
    member: keep writin whatever,there's no such thing as bad rap jus wack mc's. frm yo playa potna C.B.......... holla happy new year everybody!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  12. January 1st, 2005, 11:28 AM #12
    warchild
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    more replies.
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