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Thread: Scalene Nightmare

  1. #1
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Scalene Nightmare

    It made me like a virgin birth,
    a mysterious creation of infinite possibility.
    It eats me like a dopamine high,
    a chemical induction of emotional euphoria.
    It'll kill me like a mutiness ego,
    a cancerous growth of alternative motives.

    I trekked through the ages,
    the blind prophecy of the one to come.
    I wander into this day,
    invisible to the powers that be.
    I'll climb ontop of the soapbox,
    boiling in masked self-confidence.

    Tragedy, Harmony, and then Hypocrisy.
    Behold the power of three,
    adding into such an unholy unity.
    Bleeding, Scabbing, and then Festering.
    Three sides of the triangle,
    combining into a mathematician's dream.

  2. #2
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Glad to see you back to droping peices regularly shadow. this piece was interesting, not what i expected though. its a very different structure, and i wasnt sure how the meter was throughout, but somehow this was dope in its own unique way, if that makes any sense. theres wasnt many, if any, noticable end rhymes, yet it flowed nicely. i cant quite put my finger on it, but this was an interesting, thought provoking read. well done.
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  3. #3
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Thanks Mind.. ^

  4. #4

  5. #5
    mindone
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    Damn that was hella good, ima read more. I thought it sounded kinda like a poem, but i lke poetry to so it didnt matter.
    Check this outhttp://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=154940
    Last edited by mindone; November 14th, 2004 at 03:31 AM

  6. #6
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Thanks...

  7. #7
    very dope.
    nice vocab,fuck-nice everything.
    I swear,i cou;d write a 2 page explanation on how i interpreted this,so ill edit this feed later.

  8. #8
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Thanks Xtreme.

  9. #9
    Banned JaiCee's Avatar
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    Well...

    Possitives...

    Vocab was exceptional - some of the best I've seen on this sight (doesn't say much coz I've only been here for about ________ that long).
    Imagery was efficiently dope. IT's good to be able to see words rather than just read them if you get me?
    Structural layout was different - I'd like to see this elaborated more.

    Negatives...

    I couldn't make it flow - I didn't see any type of rhyme structure at all... Now that maybe me, but I dont think it is.
    More of a poetry peice because of the above statement.

    Nevertheless nice peice.

    Peace

  10. #10
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Thanks 4 the feed.

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