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Thread: Formula - My Music, My Soul

  1. #1
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    Formula - My Music, My Soul

    I really wish the kids could see us
    N' learn everything that our lives will teach us,
    One person can genuinely make differences,
    So i'll cling to life n' hope you cling to these sentences,
    Outside to the inside, when the middle's where answers lie,
    Point n' stare, do the passer bys, laugh as they passin' by
    What's Common ? It's the light, so bright for all to see
    You'd think w/ electricity, ya'll would learn to read
    Not smoke 'til it burns to breath, I got this urge in me
    To cut n' drip passion on wax - For ya'll, I yearn to bleed
    We all capture firm beliefs, n' life churns in sneaks
    'Cause you gotta walk a mile atleast, to earn your keep
    For me, I turned to beats, 8 years, noteboooks filled up
    N' if there was such a thing, I'd run ink n' led bills up,
    'Cause whatever gets built up, it's released to looseleaf,
    Idea sparks, I lose sleep, write, then snooze 'til I reach
    The time when days start over, part I play will grow but
    Let's face facts, like you, I'm another day older

    [Chorus]
    So much left to do, What's next to do?
    Somethin' huge so cats can't fill these shoes,
    I'ma say it now, I'll live long n prosper
    The Good Die Young,
    So if you see Death, tell her don't bother


    My life's about making impacts w/ facts to attract
    Certain values I must obtain, the ones that others lack,
    Maintain my brothers back, chill, on to another track
    Got to get some money, but I stay behind w/ quarters
    Try to leave, I keep runnin' back
    I'll stay in poverty as long as ya'll follow me there,
    'Cause even in rough times,
    I'm the pornographic type, see my soul stripped bare,
    I'll sell it if the price is nice, sure the price is right
    But am I really willing to become a slave tonight ?
    Nahh, that's whole different spectrum,
    A role, listen careful
    N' don't keep missin' shows w/ lessons,
    I show progression, Christs passion, I lacked it
    But I re-tapped it,
    N' allowed magic to become one of my habits for action
    I don't want to see the headstone that holds my name,
    Chills are too cold for aim,
    So when I scold her, my brain anuresyms,
    N' re-enters prison, folds w/ shame
    Many hands mold this frame,
    Made up of pens n' pencils
    W/ a heart that pumps delicately,
    Like it's a work of stencils,
    On beat, i'm instrumental
    Apart of the process to rekindle
    Every little bit of the past,
    Memories are sentimental,
    Sending subliminals to those who've passed
    I'll see ya'll,
    But not now, she won't catch me that fast. .

    Chorus

  2. #2
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    ignore structure eh? that's how it came out.. everything i write goes to audio, so yeah, i'm lookin' for a beat.. audios coming as soon as i go to soundclick n' stop being lazy.. wrd.. credit SMZ for the title.. that's my negro, 4real.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=152513
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=152564

  3. #3
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    dope - did you write the first four lines seperately? - they didn't have the same quality as the rest - guess you were gettin into it - from then on flow was tight - and dope lines kept dropping - some that stood out:

    You'd think w/ electricity, ya'll would learn to read
    and
    I'm the pornographic type, see my soul stripped bare,

    flow here was genious while not dropping off intellectually:
    learn to read
    Not smoke 'til it burns to breath, I got this urge in me
    To cut n' drip passion on wax - For ya'll, I yearn to bleed
    We all capture firm beliefs, n' life churns in sneaks
    'Cause you gotta walk a mile atleast, to earn your keep
    For me, I turned to beats

    emotion could be felt - this was dope - good to see you puttin effort in again

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  4. #4
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    I know you want a lil more detailed feedback, but Im really sleepy right now, so I'll do you a favor and just up this for you.
    I DID read it, if you're asking, and I agree, this will go very well over a beat, it has sort of a Mos Def feel to it.
    Alot of "real" shit in it, if you know what I mean, Im not goin` lie, it got a lil boring at some points, but at others, your rhyme scheme was very good, particularly the 2nd verse, in the mid-end of it.


    and finally, I know this is a large part to quote, but it stood out the most, you was "flowin" like a mothafucka at this point.

    I'm the pornographic type, see my soul stripped bare,
    I'll sell it if the price is nice, sure the price is right
    But am I really willing to become a slave tonight ?
    Nahh, that's whole different spectrum,
    A role, listen careful
    N' don't keep missin' shows w/ lessons,
    I show progression, Christs passion, I lacked it
    But I re-tapped it,
    N' allowed magic to become one of my habits for action
    I don't want to see the headstone that holds my name,
    Chills are too cold for aim,
    So when I scold her, my brain anuresyms,
    N' re-enters prison, folds w/ shame
    Many hands mold this frame,
    Made up of pens n' pencils
    W/ a heart that pumps delicately,
    Like it's a work of stencils,
    On beat, i'm instrumental
    Apart of the process to rekindle


    the chorus could';ve had more effort in it, but overall, it was a nice peice.
    I tend to get sick of these deep gay emotional peices that get into the hall of fame every month,
    lol,I said I was goin` go to sleep, didnt I?
    Anyway, lets collab sometime, hit me up with a PM, pZ, and keep writing.

  5. #5
    Beautifully Decayed Mesmerize's Avatar
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    wow formula, i havent read much of your shit but this was very nice. You really surprised me with this actually. The flow was crazy, and you had some deep emotion and imagery in this. I like the style you used to approach this, fuck structure, it was an interesting read and was read very smoothly. you had some lines i thought was very creative...ive seen the concept done before but you pulled this one off well, a lot better than the others i might add. Dope drop, glad to see you back...keep active man, your a talented writer.

    peace,
    Mez

  6. #6
    www.theilleffect.com djb's Avatar
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    this was dope. i felt a lot of emotion and the rhyming was crazy! damn the way your words fit it reminded me of rakim. no joke. as i was reading i heard his flow in my head. anyway i think the raw emotion and multi's carried this piece. truely a good drop and that last line brought everything together. brillant.

    please return the favor and drop feed on my om

    my open mic: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=152795

    thanks
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    Music --->>>>
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  7. #7
    . Illus''s Avatar
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    Nice...

    Formula you always have this certain unique
    style about you which sometimes is hard to
    grasp but once captured (Once I can understand it)
    It's like wow....


    Nice drop here your wording scheme is very nice.
    Nice multies and vocabulary. The flow and imagery
    is definitely on point. A good topic hitter.

    Not much more I can say is keep it up.


    Peace

  8. #8
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    Nice Drop.....

    The way u wrote that man it was like I could actually hear sombody saying the words. a lot of emotion in that piece. Hadn't read wany of ur stuff before but trust i'll be upping ur next drop. Keep doing that hot shit man. One

  9. #9
    It's Willie Baby Willy B's Avatar
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    nice work son those first four lines didnt quite fit but it wouldnt have been better been told instead of read but nice work bro i was feelin that man.
    nice flow to as well and good imagery.
    readin at as a whole instead of seperate werse made it even better cause i wasnt quite feelin the chorus.
    rhymin was all over the place though but real fresh man i'll be check round for your next drop.
    keep on

    return the favor http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=153268

  10. #10
    Evolve FanTa ZeE's Avatar
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    first of all, thank you for the birthday wishes you sent my way for monday. I don't think even some of my 'closest' friends on here remembered so its good someone did..thanks. I liked this piece, some powerful imagery in those first lines, i liked it alot, chorus could have been better (the first couple of lines anyway) but after i'd read the whole chorus it really wasn't effected, if anything, the last sentence brought it all together.

    sorry i aint got the time to leave more constructive reply..gotta make like a banana and split!
    Def Poets

  11. #11
    Holy Weight
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    Damn son... I really really liked this.
    It had an amazing flow in an audio respect...
    So I guess you managed to pull it off fine.
    It was really dope to me.
    I liked what you had to say here.
    Your message was powerful, and made me actually wanna read it...
    Not much to say that hasn't been said.
    It was dope.

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