Hole in my Heart (But wait, how?)

[Escar]

Hole in my Heart
by Scar

How can you heal the hole in your heart? When... ahh fuck it, read.

I am the devil, who you see in your dreams
I am the dark, when you leave from the scene
No you must heal the hole in your heart, don't fall down!
My heart? How? I must think & ponder now
My demonic veins crawl through my skin, defining who I am
My eyesight resembles the core, thus I'm not blind to lure my lands
The evil has chosen me to suffer through its path of existence
My wrath is the difference, I kill without a scratch of assistance
I own my allegiance to the flames eruptin' Hell's great surface
Innocent lives scream "Don't hurt us!" But how? Murder is my purpose
I lied, I killed, I stole, name one false action I haven't done
From the crimes I built, there's no jail big enough to lock me, son

I am the devil, who you see in your dreams
I am the dark, when you leave from the scene
Did you heal the hole in your heart? Or fall down?
My heart? How? Oh, wait I still need to think now
There it is, now I realize for me there's no perfection limits
As I look through Hell's emerging embers and see my reflection in it
I look into the depths of my soul, & realize "What's my life like?"
So deep in the dark, I can't even remember how light shines right
I try to imagine the world of peace, my hope still won't get better
I'm one of a kind among the good, like a rose in the desert
The shadows that surroud me stop here, where my choice's end
I must go! Pardon me for a while... I hear that mystic voice again
I am the devil, who you see in your dreams
I am the dark, when you leave from the scene
Time passed, is the healing of your heart done?
My heart? But how?..... when I was born without one

Read all the choruses though, they're different.

Peace

-Scar

[Escar]

Links

Link 1
Link 2

[CAMROK]

Dope, man. Just one word....
I really liked this piece, concept, everything..
ending was nice...
chorus, the whole set up of it,
real enjoyable read.. keep up bra'

[Bloom.Quist]

Pretty nice. Definately felt the emotion on it. I felt it could have some better wording though. All in all it was a dope drop. peace

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...91#post1657391

[Tactixx]

don't have much time sorry Escar, but I did read it...it was nice...I agree with Bloom about the wording...coulda used a little editing...but a nice job anyway...Keep it up...peace..

[The Drifter]

Real dope man.. thought it was great.

Not over-complex.. while keeping good vocab throughout.

Like the whole idea of the Devil wanting to be 'good' so to speak.. expressed it well.

Nice little 'chorus' or whatever.. it all flowed perfectly.. fitted together well.

Overall.. a real nice piece man.. enjoyed reading it.

Props.

* Just re-read the choruses.. last line of each. Great stuff man.. adds more to it.. nice ending too. *

[Escar]

Uppin' like there is no tomorrow...

[StraighAce]

this was enjoyable to read
your concept was dope
vocab was tight it was very good
chorus was mos def nice
and the ending was great too

overall this was one of the better pieces i have read recently

[Escar]

Uppin'

[LM]

Really good...

Nice emotion used and the flow complimented it. I liked both verses equally and the chorus' were nicely done. Cant find much wrong with this so....good job

[Escar]

Thx.

Uppin'...

[spokenoh]

I must have missed something of significance in this or something 'cause I didn't understand or something. The chorus'(more of bridges) weren't that nice, plain and the ending was abrupt and simple. So...the devil doesn't have a heart...wasn't as good as they thought^.
The flow in this was good, same with the transitions. Some internals helped it flow well and would have been nicer with insider multies. Yes, insider.
Vocab was average and multi-syllabelic end rhyming was average but not overly consistent. The topic wasn't done before and I hope it isn't done again because it wasn't overly creative and you didn't do it well.
I'm not saying this was bad, but it wasn't that good and I expect alot more. Never say, "Beat yo ass with Rakim shit" again. Metaphors weren't consistent and weren't good.
"I'm one of a kind among the good, like a rose in the desert
The shadows that surroud me stop here, where my choice's end"
I thought roses were a symbol of beauty and love and the desert was a place of tourmoil? You need to re-word that along with the next line 'cause it's interpreted that your shadows which stands as something that is mysterious and blinds your vision leaves so you can see when you have nothing left? Doesn't read well.
Imagery was okay, probably best part.
Get better bitch.

[Escar]

Suck my balls bro.

Sup Pinacle? Fuck you, lol.

[spokenoh]

I gave you the best feed. Your emotion was good. It was actually.
Pakistan must honor your writing.

[Escar]

Pakistan? Suck my fucking cock you bitch! Wtf?