I held no hand as I waltzed through this valley of destruction,
Broken plates and Lager crates weren't in need of introduction,
Creaking stairs of number 42, the fate of my production,
5 years old, and non the wiser, to the evil of his instruction.
I knew him well it seemed, and trusted him with secrets,
I told him all my wildest dreams, never thought that he'd forget,
When he stumbled home each evening,bottle of rum straight down his neck,
Mumbling foul obscenities and stinking of cigerettes.
My mother cursed him daily,but cried each night he was away,
For she needed him to love her, just as I did, in those days,
No father to protect us, so we weren't properly raised,
And i never saw the error, of my older brothers ways,
One day he sat me on his lap and stroked up to my thighs,
Told me it was our secret, i was too young to see just why,
Sometimes he'd buy me presents, sometimes he'd make me cry,
But I always deserved his punishment, or thats what he implied.
As I grew steadily older, I used to bunk of school,
So i could spend more time with him, i never saw i was a fool,
He'd take me out to dinner, we'd go for a drink or shoot some pool,
But if i denied his urges, then he could be so cruel.
My mother never noticed, the scars that burned my face,
From those times that he had took his belt and put me in my place,
And i'd begged him for forgiveness, those thoughts i can't erase,
When he said I owed him everything, and I knew just how to pay.
He showed me ways of zoning out, he injected me with drugs,
Then intoduced me to old men, that were in dire need of love,
He said i'd do it if i cared for him, and I did and so I shrugged,
And closed my eyes forbid tears to cry, and lay down on the rug.
I was sixteen before i realised, that he had gone too far,
When i was drug dependent,and spending weekdays at the bar,
And the money that I earned always ended up in his tip-jar,
He gave me next to nothing, and he sold me under stars.
I told my mother how he'd forced me to commit those violent sins,
But she barely even saw me, she was too pumped with heroin,
So i decided to take it further, I trully wanted rid of him,
And justice was there to help me, just like he'd never been.
When I saw him standing in the dock i couldn't help but feel the guilt,
Couldn't stop the pain i held inside, as my heart began to wilt,
He'd made me feel so special once, the love that we had built,
Though evil was still beautiful, dear memories under quilts.
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