Deuce813 vs #1 Draft Pick

[OHm]

10-12 lines
no dr
no hate
no ghost
no biting
no feeding
no crew
verse due one hour after check in
doesnt matter who drops first

good luck to ya

[OHm]

checking in................................................ ...

[Deuce813]

checkin in.............................................

[Deuce813]

let me tell u my nikka b4 ill blast ill stick u up 4 yo quick change/
then ill hang u up n shoot at u like itz a gun range/
i aint scared of nothin nikka i love 2 squeeze/
ill have u drop 2 yo kneez squeeze n leave u with more holez then swiss cheese/
im filled with anger n u just a stranger/
so i woulnt hesitate 2 shank ya or send 1 through tha chamber/
fagget u in danger, cause ill explode for no reason/
have you deep throat my gun n stop your breathin/
usually i use my handz i been that way sinse birth/
stupid.. ill choke u till u blue as a smirf/
but 4 u fuck it ill just pull tha pis-tol/
squeeze into yo dome then feed u 2 my gurlz pitt bull/

[OHm]

You can't win this battle dawg this ain't Dueces Wild
My rhymes are hot as hell..
.....and urs are just mild
Ya lyrics ain't shit I'll go get you a the-sau-rus
The only musical talent you got is..
.....bein' on the Middle School Chorus
My soul is willin', and you spittin' weaker than flesh
There's no way I'ma lose this battle..
.....this dude is still fresh
Ya shit is played, you ain't the LordofLyrics (AIM s/n = LordzofLyricz813)
I'm pullin you down like gravity..
.....it's all like physiks
This battle's been mine since the start
Dude just got here..
.....and it's time for him to depart

[OHm]

upppinnn... 1..............................................

[Exculptifactoriusness]

Hit this up now.

Deuce, you didnt have a good verse. It was missing the thing that wins battles, Punches. you cant win without them and you didnt have any notable ones. They were simple and wack and hr personals were wack also. You didnt have any. Flow was bad work on it.

Number one you had some good lines. Decent stuff in your verse. Punches hit decently and personals were also pretty decent. Flow was good and the structure was good also. Good job just use better punches..

V/#1

Hit that link up now.

[OHm]

thanks dawg... ill hit that up later today, after i get sum shit outta tha way

[_Ralkavelli_]

Deuce: I wasnt really feelin your flow man. Im not a big fan on that type of structure either. You just spit about killin him an shit, which is something youll never really do. You gotta elevate man, spit about better things than what you did in this one next time. I'm sure you can be more creative than that, dont rap about doing things to your opponent that you will in reality never do.

Draft: In this battle, you are going to be the reason why that is your name...cause you'll be the number 1 draft pick. You did really good man, punches were solid and I was diggin that structure. Just one thing for both of you...gotta elevate that vocab a bit. Overall, alright battle, but draft took this one in my opinion easily.

V/Draft........................

Please help me close this and return the favour man... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=137697

[OHm]

thanks dawg... uppin 2............................................

[OHm]

upppin 3................................................. ..

[OHm]

uppppppppping 4...............................................

[J.K.O]

punches: #1, his hit harder nothin special although they were some funny punches
flow: #1 his wasnt stretched and it was way better
Personals: #1 again he was way better...lol
opener: duces was played,#1 gets this
closer: both peoples closer sucked so a tie

#1 you had some good punches good enough to win also had a good flow goin good job i liked your verse better it made me laugh more

duece you had some stretched lines that sucks you didnt have any good punches most of them were played but anyways it wasnt a good verse

vote #1

can you hit this up you dont need 300 posts to vote

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=138032

[FUBAR]

#1 Draft Pick:

You can't win this battle dawg this ain't Dueces Wild
My rhymes are hot as hell..
.....and urs are just mild
nice punch.....7/10
Ya lyrics ain't shit I'll go get you a the-sau-rus
The only musical talent you got is..
.....bein' on the Middle School Chorus
lol....nice punch again.......7/10
My soul is willin', and you spittin' weaker than flesh
There's no way I'ma lose this battle..
.....this dude is still fresh
decent punch......5/10
Ya shit is played, you ain't the LordofLyrics (AIM s/n = LordzofLyricz813)
I'm pullin you down like gravity..
.....it's all like physiks
meh.....okay punch........4/10
This battle's been mine since the start
Dude just got here..
.....and it's time for him to depart
lol.....nice punch......7/10

OverAll:You had good flow, off in some points but not too noticable.
Total:30/50
Rank:Nice drop
Advice:ha! the only thing you could improve on is better flow. (If you want..)

Deuce813:

let me tell u my nikka b4 ill blast ill stick u up 4 yo quick change/
then ill hang u up n shoot at u like itz a gun range/
ehh....see where you commin from.....3/10
i aint scared of nothin nikka i love 2 squeeze/
ill have u drop 2 yo kneez squeeze n leave u with more holez then swiss cheese/
lol......streched out lines...tck..tck...not good......2/10
im filled with anger n u just a stranger/
so i woulnt hesitate 2 shank ya or send 1 through tha chamber/
nope........1/10
fagget u in danger, cause ill explode for no reason/
have you deep throat my gun n stop your breathin/
nope.....1/10
usually i use my handz i been that way sinse birth/
stupid.. ill choke u till u blue as a smirf/
....no.........1/10
but 4 u fuck it ill just pull tha pis-tol/
squeeze into yo dome then feed u 2 my gurlz pitt bull/
nope.......1/10

OverAll:You need to elevate.....
Total:9/60
Rank:Poor
Advice:You need to elevate.....You would of won this battle hands down.
Because you had some nice concepts.....but fucked them all up.............
Plus, you had some lines streched to hell, while others very short, not good...

Vote/#1 Draft Pick, for having better everthing......nice drop, too!

[OHm]

last upppp please vote.... just one!!!!..........................................