Cracked Mirror...

[The Beat Mod]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...5&postcount=16
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...69&postcount=5

*I would like to know who it was that e-mailed me and asked me to post one more Open Mic on http://www.rapbattles.com...anyways, whoever you are...I guess this piece is for you...

Title: Cracked Mirror...
Author: T-West



mental trauma, lean back, thinking...re-cap
the day's events, early morning relapse...
In a state of rehab, I gather my thoughts
blood on the bathroom floor, stained red on the door...
kneeling down, feeling weak, red oozes from my knuckles
body feels crumpled, keeping balance is a struggle...
forced to tumble, sprawled on the bathroom mat...
glass shards from before, impail into my back
Eyes turn eiry, a reflection of my feeling...
I'm...scared of myself, I'm scared of what I'm hearing..
Not knowing where from..."Tell me ur fucking whereabouts!"
I shout, to my inner voice, i'm yelling to myself...
I cry..."Fuck You! Yes you i'm talking to!"
"Yes you, you fucking bastard! I'm looking at you!"
Overwhemled by hate, I...just...can't...take it...
Squeeze a glass in my fist, rip my flesh as I break it
losing eyesight, filled with tears, I crawl...
I look forward and shout..."Fuck You!" then I fall...
glass slices my stomache, started choking, then heaving
black and red fluid, exposed to eternal bleeding...
Gasping for air, coughing out my own blood
"I hate you! I'm fucking proud of what i've done!"
My bloodly palm on my mirror, raged eyes, no fear...
I look...Then whisper......"You weren't meant to be here"....



Too many people today aren't satisfied with the way they are...We got kids
commiting suicide because they feel that they aren't good enough to
live...This is a wake-up call...we can't sweep these problems under
the rug anymore...action needs to be taken...and it starts here.

You've just witnessed the scene of another child in today's world
commiting suicide...

[Chris Black]

OMG. This shit was dope, homie. The imagery was just crazy. Havn't seen imagery like this in a while. The emotion was good. Flow was good. The concept and how you came at it was original. This was the best read I've had in a minute. I'll nominate this for, at least, OM of the month. Good shit, ho.

My OM:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=133021&page=1

Ps. "Poem" made OM of the month if you don't know by now.

-W1

[LM]

This was brilliant....really dope

Amazin imagery and flow. Lines were'nt very stretched. And the topic was brilliant. This has got to be one of the best I've seen for a while. Great drop.

Hit this up...http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=133284

[Brother Blue Collar]

nice shit flow smoothly thanks to nice ass scheme vocab was good and imagery was fucking outta this world type imagery i feel you on this topic too much of that shit is going on

[Born To Kill]

Really nice shit...

Rhyme scheme fell off a couple of times.
(same word type thing)

But aside from that, great fucking piece.

Real tight and graphic imagery.

Great display of hopeless emotion.

I gotta disagree with ya closing statement.
Suicide's for fags. But whatever, that had nothing to do with the dopeness of the rhyme and the great presentation of it.

Short, to the point, and shocking.

Peace

[Foreshadow]

[My Thoughts]
Damn T West I wish you weren't leaving I love the way you write. I cant explain it. Nice drop I just watched that movie Secret Window an the personality thing in this made me think of that but another wonderfully told an well descriptive piece.

[G.Hod]

This was cool. Imagery-laden and pretty descriptive, my mind is filled with the contrast of a flowery bathroom wallpaper against brush-strokes of blood. Again, you seem to have mastered what you are writing about. It's time to move to the big leagues, though:

I was never a fan of symbolism until recently. I always liked to read things cut and dry, and interpret them singlemindedly. I don't know what, in particular, it was, but nowadays, I appreciate the subtleties that ARE symbolic justice. I suggest you incorporate them into your pieces to make your open mics multi-voiced.

forced to tumble, sprawled on the bathroom mat...

^ for example, draw parallels to the subject's position on the social ladder, and his position on the floor.

Either way, I remember your name from when I frequented this site, and am pleasantly surprised. Keep writing, 'cause you're definitely improving from what I can remember.

[t-west]

uppin to show how LM is a gay faggot...

[LM]

Shit....

I replied to this then wrote my OM without rememberin this. It wasnt intentional coz I wouldnt do that....I just got the name for mine without realisin this one.

So I apologise.....it wasnt done on purpose

[t-west]

^same concept...same story...Like seriously?...atleast use the name and make a different story from it...

Recyclin' a concept n' flippin it is one thing...but you just straight jacked it.
Don't bother replyin' because I won't reply back...My point has been made...n' I am finished.

[LM]

Same story!!!

Everythin in mine is about me and my experiences. I'm tellin the truth when I say I just startin writin my peice. I didnt even remember this one.

All I can say is sorry but it wasnt done on purpose