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Thread: When The Sun Hid

  1. #1
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    When The Sun Hid

    When The Sun Hid
    For Alicia Stone: Through here eyes
    .true story.
    :
    :
    :

    “I had a dream last night ..
    I had a dream that the Sun hid behind these dark clouds, and let her die ..
    It just let her die ..”





    *Running*
    Run.. I can see the beautiful colors fall,
    As they smother us all with light leaves,
    Painted with a nice breeze.. I like these-
    Days, cause I need..This.. This.. feeling.
    So as the skies breath, I run for healing,
    And to escape this life, & that man’s plot
    I try not to think about it, but can’t stop

    Only fifteen years old, and the tears roll
    As my fears grow, of what he might do
    Come here, ho. Don’t you see I like you?
    He’s known to pierce souls, & he’s hi too
    So, I know what he might do to my fruit
    ..The fruit of my temple, held so sacred
    Bitch, get naked !.. I can’t do without it!
    I must just run, & try not to think about it..


    Run.. Just run.. Think about the road,
    Not that house that’s cold with torment.
    Just Think about how the storm went,
    And was replaced by the pretty fall sun,
    Beautiful leaves and how they all come-
    In unique colors like they’ve all done-
    For years. Think of my fate on the track
    “Don’t!”, but pain keeps taking me back

    Cant you see I crave for you, baby-boo?
    I hate what he made me do, like always,
    I was Made a slave to do small displays
    Of submission. Stare: his eyes all a glazed
    And then he had his filthy way with me,
    Biting, slapping & laughing while raping me.
    .. He’s my own funking step-dad, Donny!
    But, I must run until I reach my mommy


    Run!.. Run!.. Run!..
    Running with bruised legs, hurting bad.
    I’m certain that I’ll pull the curtain back.
    On this pervert’s laugh of evil pleasure,
    That proceeds the measure I can take in.
    I hate men!.. But I will make him pay
    Say goodbye to them days of him crazed
    Making me do things, so I’d hid for cover
    God, please help me to find my mother...
    Then the sun hid behind these dark clouds
    My heart dropped, and I screamed aloud...

    “My knew that my dream would come true”

    I was supposed to save her life, today, see?
    I’d have been on time, if he hadn’t raped me!
    .. I broke down, blocks from her building
    And nothing could ever match the feeling
    Now.. Now I no longer have a mother, see?
    .. I just lied here, and let the ashes fall & cover me

    -Blocks from the World Trade Center
    My memory of September 11th, 2001



    R.I.P. Mrs. Jackie Stone. 1966 - 2001.
    Much love to Alicia Stone. I’m here for you, baby girl.



    -W1
    Last edited by Chris Black; June 19th, 2004 at 01:18 AM
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  2. #2

  3. #3
    I swing on hoes Perpetual's Avatar
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    nice, man
    deep story
    descriptive thorughout
    ok rhyme scheme
    nice shit
    gets my nomination
    ORIGINAL BADASS


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  4. #4
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    Up. Drop links.

    -W1
    Hence Forward
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  5. #5
    ||RythmicTendicies|| 'PercepTion''s Avatar
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    I wasn't feelin the flow here, it seemed
    more poetical that something you'd rap
    with...it had a good consistent rhyme
    scheme but i just wasn't really feeling
    it...i liked your imagry th0, was what
    really hit me at first, some really nice
    "weathery" terms kept the topic goin'.
    And while were on the topic, it was
    mad dope, really deep, complex and
    heartfelt and i really connected with
    it, you put alot of gritty emotion into
    this...mad dope...

    4/5...was a great read, should
    be a June OM of the month, it was
    brutal!
    Open Mic's


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    --------------------------------

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    woah u were straight brutal to OM. I disagree with perception; I liked ur flow. It complimented ur piece. Those descriptive words had me transfixed. The imagery was on point and u stayed on topic effortessly. This will be nominated for OM of the month i guarantee. Best READING iv'e read in a couple of years.

  7. #7
    Banned FaceFuckaMidget.'s Avatar
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    FUCKING DOPE

    but fuck you for making me read all that
    lol
    serious topic
    greatly followed
    EMOTION WAS PINPOINTED
    i really enjoyed it

    but anywho
    check my new shit

    PIMPNESS
    links in my sig

  8. #8
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    "Aaahhh, push it...P P Push it real good!"-Salt 'n' Pepper.
    Hence Forward
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  9. #9
    xNY~NJx CAMROK's Avatar
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    This shit was really tight...
    Emotion, one word.. best explains this entire piece,
    the emotion was incredible, flow was different,
    but it worked for me..
    Really emotional story, like I said.. done very well,
    really enjoyed the read....
    Dope drop. keep up.
    PandorasBox



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    Open Mics:



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  10. #10

    bangin

    yo dat was hot just keep doin what doin an holla at me

  11. #11
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    Much love to all the cats that replied to this so far.

    -W1
    Hence Forward
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  12. #12
    Super Spic, w00t! Emerge's Avatar
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    wow

    dope

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    New Writejist Song - Tito Ortiz

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  13. #13
    Close To The Wrath Of God Brother Blue Collar's Avatar
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    felt this shit man thru and thru cuz i was living in nyc when this happened made me relive the day images flooded my mind enforced by good vocab nice ass emotional peice man i had ta reach for the kleenex
    I believe i'm making some good music, please just wait for me




    [sc]https://soundcloud.com/hood-society/what-you-fear-featuring-a-cas[/sc]

  14. #14
    Life & Times
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    Really good...

    Very poetic but still more of an OM than a poem (if you understand that). It was very descriptive and was filled with emotion.

    Now.. Now I no longer have a mother, see?
    .. I just lied here, and let the ashes fall & cover me


    ^^That was brilliant.....just really hit me

    Good job....nominatin it
    LM
    The Life
    & Times
    ...The Rhymes

  15. #15
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by W1CKED
    Much love to all the cats that replied to this so far.
    Word.

    -W1
    Hence Forward
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