The Wrath Of God

[Tactixx]

A current topical battle....I had fun writing it so I thought I'd post it up here..


......................The Wrath Of God................



From ancient forgotten lost scrolls this story is told in full
Two titans we all know and their epic battle for total control
The script the bible withholds because the outcome was unknown
Written in a foreign tongue, so I will translate it on my own


Centuries after His first defeat Lucifer returned to his throne
Hell burned, and the Dark lord began feasting on flesh and bone
His power grown immensely, but still unable to reverse his curse
So long after his banishment Satan once more traversed the earth
Finding weak minds to pervert, spreading lies and rumours abroad
Causing chaos and stating his intentions to be worshipped as god
Our world now flawed,everything his evil touches becomes corrupt
The Gates of Hell appear on earth, engulfed in flames they erupt
Now strong enough, he began to lust for things beyond his reach
All that he did was seen and now the wrath of God was unleashed....


The clouds divide as thunder and blinding lights split the skies
Countless cries from the devils minions as they avert their eyes
From the lights emerged Knights mounted upon white winged steeds
Followed by a robed figure, who strode through the air with ease
The master of stars and seas,Gods army was now displayed in full
Arrayed in white and gold their horses halt with precise control
The two armies battled below as the arch-rival's took to the sky
many times the earth shook and fifteen days and nights passed by
Unable to die, Satan was viciously defeated and bound in chains
left to endure a life's imprisonment in complete misery and pain
A script written long ago, by the devil himself inside his cage
Till the end of days nothing will compare to Gods wrath and rage


Links:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=132433
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=132195

[Johnny 6-feet]

good subject matter and with strong vocab to help create the imagery, although i thought the rhyming side was a little threadbare, it was still several notches above what i usally read in open mic.

nicely done, keep posting.


p.s. could you do me a favour and reply to one of my pieces?

[Devion Stokes]

this was nice.
I liked the story, of God and Satan, battling each other, dark army vs. good army.
nice imagery, very good flow, none really fell off, vocab could have been a step up, the topic wasnt too played, overall, I'll give it a 8/10.
nice shit.
hit up my OM.
Lonely Dreams/Selfish Nights

[Qwality]

From ancient forgotten lost scrolls this story is told in full
Two titans we all know and their epic battle for total control
The script the bible withholds because the outcome was unknown
Written in a foreign tongue, so I will translate it on my own

only the opening but a ill ass set up towads the body of your piece...

Centuries after His first defeat Lucifer returned to his throne
Hell burned, and the Dark lord began feasting on flesh and bone
His power grown immensely, but still unable to reverse his curse
So long after his banishment Satan once more traversed the earth

i didnt like the last line too much but man this was nice first 3 lines were strong

Finding weak minds to pervert, spreading lies and rumours abroad
Causing chaos and stating his intentions to be worshipped as god
Our world now flawed,everything his evil touches becomes corrupt
The Gates of Hell appear on earth, engulfed in flames they erupt

first two lines seemed a little forced overall but daym you bounced back with the last two loving the imagery you put into your piece...

Now strong enough, he began to lust for things beyond his reach
All that he did was seen and now the wrath of God was unleashed....

as a closer for the first body this should have been one of the strongest points it was nice still but it could have been stronger

The clouds divide as thunder and blinding lights split the skies
Countless cries from the devils minions as they avert their eyes
From the lights emerged Knights mounted upon white winged steeds
Followed by a robed figure, who strode through the air with ease

ooo lovin the imagery you put into this opening section

The master of stars and seas,Gods army was now displayed in full
Arrayed in white and gold their horses halt with precise control
The two armies battled below as the arch-rival's took to the sky
many times the earth shook and fifteen days and nights passed by

my favorite part so far this shit was nice

Unable to die, Satan was viciously defeated and bound in chains
left to endure a life's imprisonment in complete misery and pain
A script written long ago, by the devil himself inside his cage
Till the end of days nothing will compare to Gods wrath and rage

oooOoO ending was perfect very strong loved it...


overall: this was a very well constructed piece i also thought it was proper to structure it the way it was and how you centered it also made it right.... you had multis imagery vocab this was a complete piece one of the best reads ive had in a while. it was a privelage to read this and i give you props... hop you return the fav big upps..

[Tactixx]

Thanx guys....Appreciate it....Ill check out your stuff.....Peace...

[Darknova]

Very well done piece here...
Loved how u went about the topic at hand
displayed many great qualities with this one.
Flow was on.
Props.

[Raptor Jesus]

I dont usually read text but this was dope. It had nice imagery, vocab, multi's and flow was on point. Keep it up, this piece was ill.

[Tactixx]

Well I guess Ill up this before I got to bed....Leave some feedback....And Links...Ill reply to your work, when I get a chance...Peace..

[Tactixx]

Lookin for some more honest feedback...
leave a link and Ill check it out....
.........peace.....

[Tactixx]

Up......Leave some feedback...Appreciate it...
.......Peace...

[Hybrid]

Man this was good i liked your approach on the topic and by the looks of this piece i reckon you would of won that battle but anyway flow good, vocab good, imagery very vivid and expressful i loved your tone in this piece man, structure good and overall good piece man keep at shit like this and i'm sure being in the legends will not be such a hard goal, peace keep at it.

[Kre-z]

One word, DOPE

[Jonezy]

quite a good piece here, the topic was chosen well, the vocab was good,, and you had a great imaginary, some of it wasnt rhymin to me, work on rhymin it more, but creativity was good.

good piece

[Tactixx]

Thanx guys....I appreciate it.....Bump...

[west]

Nice,good topic,good intro,flowed perfectly,had good imagery and appropriate vocab and word choice,some use of multies,nice length,overall enjoyed it,something different.

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