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Thread: "Blood Coloured Rain Drops"

  1. #1
    ...practice makes poetry
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    "Blood Coloured Rain Drops"

    My RPTT Finals verse against Hypnotik/H.Notik

    Mag...

    First to the topic, wondering how I'l drop it
    drop logic and knowledge.. you know I won't stop it
    The name of this game.. is blood coloured rain
    Insane yet again.. this topic's not plain
    it's psychologically deep, and hypnotik won't sleep
    Know he brought shit elite, though I've not yet chance peeped
    his sheet, his script, so flipped, so ill on the tip
    The ink in my veins better be ready to drip
    to flow like mad, this trip ain't by over by half
    so slow to be had, my lips are pursing to flap
    and spit and relate and blood sprays on this joint
    Oh shit! Can't be late! better get to the point!

    LilMagMobsta187

    Nickle PLaTes Click!~~and the SicKle sLays KiDs!
    I'm SicK to Flay hITs~~WHen Da DJ's plaTeS Spin
    sPin Rims~RocK tImBs~GLoCk bItcheZ in 4 LiMbZ *gunshots firing*
    SiNg HyMNs oR pRaY to JeSuz to FoRgiVe aLL Yo` sINZZ!
    One~8~Seven dEaDLy~~RoUNd da WoRLd tHeY DrEdD mE
    JuDge, JuRy N' eXeCuTionaH is~ HoW tHey CreD mE
    RaW like rEd MeAt! I'M MuLtI tO InTerNal SicK
    InFeRnal tRicKs n' SucKed DicKz LiKe InTeRnz iN PoLiTiKs
    PoRNo FLiks~ dOn't ShOOt BitcHeZ in Da FaCe LiKe I dO
    YOuR a DisGRacE tO mY GroOVe, HoLd yA BReaTH tiLL I LoSe
    AnD tiLL DeAtH Will I pROvE tO be CLoSe to yuRR plaNz!
    ThE SpEctRE's ShaDOw~Don'T STanD a GhOsT of A cHaNCe
    All hanDz on Deck As diSs FloW GeTz a LittLe Harder
    All tHat Notik caN Do to kEEp hIS HeaD AbOve WaTER...
    NoW Who's The MarTyr?! Az CrImsOn FlooDz CraSH!
    CLenZ Da wOrLd In 4o DaYz~~BLooD RainZ doWn wiT dA AsH...

    Mag...

    What the fuck was that?! That was half assed
    Hold my verse at half mast, cuz I'm surely outclassed
    notik's gonna laugh his work is already completed
    When Topic Gangsta's competed and left depleted
    Backspace and deleted I should scrap this effort now
    Well... maybe I'll leave it.. try another endeavour now

    MagNotik

    It's tasteless and faceless to rate this doom
    I'm fateless to hate this and I pace this room
    back and forth, forth and back again
    future's blackened when
    the apocalypse drips down the window pane
    feel the pain, howling voices as the wind goes insane
    haunting me and flinging scarlet paint on this
    house which fits, in God's blacklist
    He must want me dead for the things I've done
    the decisions which lead me to the leacherous one
    trechearous fun and now only regret and sorrow
    can't reflect to borrow an umbrella til the morrow
    a shield from the insipid and insidious joke
    so hideous note as he drips it like the wittiest spoke
    scripture it leaks from holy fixture
    'I Can't see the Picture!'
    'I Can't see the Picture!', I scream at the sky
    try to dream why, he would speak in my mind
    weakly I find
    the strength to go out and face the torrent of red
    Wonder why people around me can't see what's being bled?
    What's that? What's being said?
    Lord, Kill them all and I'm free?
    All I see with these eyes that glisten with glee?
    thank you
    I'll help you cover this earth with this blood coloured curse
    Then I sharpened my knives and got right to work!

    Mag...
    Kinda funny really.. Kinda gave me willies...
    That's ok, forget it... it's just a verse you silly
    twit, now just gotta hope it's close to the legit..
    close to notik's writ, something lyrically comparable
    But what if it's not? Maybe I better write another parable

    Mag...'nificent

    I cried into her eyes, such a prize of sighs
    droplet size so wide and I tried to hide
    the hurt inside as I hold her still frame
    She still came without pride or ill fame
    twirling and undulating, a dancer to the motion
    purely an indundating love like water to the ocean
    waves... and no matter what I say she's left me
    brave to brush aside her strands of hair so deftly
    and calmly, I shouldn't have lifted her so strongly
    measured distance wrongly, how could God wrong me
    for being naive? Well now I bereave, now I believe...
    been siezed by the answer to my low situation
    I take a dagger and plunge it to hearts infatuation
    love's abrasion as tear drops gather crimson makeup
    fear stops before she can wake up and break up
    at my lifeless pose, ironic that she the dagger chose
    to follow life's ebb flows to the bitter curtain close
    the swell of ovation slows and we stand, not truly yet
    appreciating elation of a perfect Romeo and Juliet

    Mag...

    That's it! Yup, that's my take...
    not amazing, but not a fake
    I leave it to my opponent who
    skills precede what he can do
    please be gentle with your talent
    and only write to beat the balance
    don't challenge to embarass me
    because I've left it bare you see

    it's poetry... it's poetry
    Hence Forward

  2. #2
    ...practice makes poetry
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    Hence Forward

  3. #3
    ...practice makes poetry
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    Hence Forward

  4. #4
    ...practice makes poetry
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    blah...
    Hence Forward

  5. #5
    ...practice makes poetry
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    didn't even get one reply
    Hence Forward

  6. #6
    Nephil SMZ's Avatar
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    dope man - this is top ten material - the change of perspectives was very dope - and you presented each one well - I'm glad you beat me - cause I don't think I would've dropped something like this - unique style

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    I'm dead.


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    Hence Forward

  7. #7
    ...practice makes poetry
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    how did I ever only get one reply to this back in the day...

    woot to upping from 04
    Hence Forward

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Dyl's Avatar
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    Well Mag I am sorry this has been slept on.Is a shame that people are too lazy to drop feed on a great piece.222 views and only 1 reply pffft.

    Anyway Mag I really liked this piece and it has been a long time since I have seen anything from you.You were very creative with your writing andyou imagery was excellent.Its always good to see somebody like you dropping in OM and I wish that you would do it more often.Some people may look at this and go wtf,but by saying that they dont't understand what you are writing about.This piece had a complex feeling to it and the way you displayed it was very well done.Your creativity is what impressed me the most and you had some pretty nice lines.Nice drop and I hope to see you dropping more

    -Dyl
    Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper?
    On his way down past each floor,he kept saying to reassure himself
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....
    So far so good.....

    But how you fall doesn't matter
    Its how you land

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    u upped from 04. DAYUM
    .................................................. ......................

  10. #10
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Uh.. well, this was a long ass piece. Did you win? Oh, nice variety of styles by the way. I loved how you added metaphores and multies, that came so natural. Truely, you are one of the best, I haven't read anything recent, but damn. I liked how you added the newbish style as well, though it mambled on around the topic, the "gangsta" out take was harder to read, but nice. I liked the MagNotik part the best it was well written, and it flowed the easiest to the reader, and yet, then again, had the multies and metaphores. I can't think of anything to tell you to improve on, just great stuff. Keep writing. I'm glad you upped this mag...
    Artificial.Intelligence

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