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Thread: Secluded

  1. #1
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
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    Secluded

    Only A Certian Child Has Obscene Direction
    Born With Out A Fathers Help Or Protection
    We Never Met I Grew Up With No Man Influence
    To Easily Make The Unknowlagable Into Sence
    I Was Told He Walked The Stairs To Heavon
    ..I Prayed For Answers..
    No Replies To Questions Nor A Simple Beckon
    So Meaningful A Sons Memeries Of His Dad
    Tears Fall Cause Of Bliss I Never Got To Have
    I Know It Sounds Selfish But I'm Crying Inside
    For Theres Only A Picture Of My Blood At My Side
    Although My Mom Took Care Of The Depressing Hole
    ..In My Heart..
    Some Feelings Of Emotions Where Out Of Her Control
    I Feel As If I Was Beaton By A Unknown Ghost
    A Christian Who Hates God For He Stole All Hope
    When He Took My Father Breath So Easily Away
    Picked A Tombstone That I Never Seen For His Grave
    Mom Wouldn't Let Me Visite I Missed Some Factors
    I Realised The Past Was Hard To see So It didn't Matter
    Desires Burn From Emotional Flames I'd Run But I'm Choking
    I See A son In A Fathers Arms Deaths Always Prevoking
    Stare At My Only Picture Of My Father For Ambition
    ..I Was Named After You..
    So To Make Your Name legendary Is My Life Mission
    ..I Turned Sixteen..
    Off To Get My License An I Needed My Birth Certificate
    Found A Box Of Letters To My Past Knowledgable Benifit
    ..Smiled In Answers..
    Hid Hate For My Moms Betrayel Of My Dads Demies
    I Was Secluded Sixteen Years Of Looking In your Eyes
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  2. #2
    That Shit Cray Chris Black's Avatar
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    This was pretty nice. I can kind of relate. I was named after my father and never knew him either. The only difference is he's stil alive. Anyway, nice emotion in this piece.

    Quote Originally Posted by rule
    I Know It Sounds Selfish But I'm Crying Inside
    ^That is nice

    Quote Originally Posted by rule
    A Christian Who Hates God For He Stole All Hope
    ^This has aplied ti me so many times. Its just ill.

    I liked the piece. Keep up the good work.

    Please drop feedback here:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111511
    Hence Forward
    axis powers

  3. #3
    Soft Focus
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    shit man u get iller every drop aye...thi was hella good


    Most of the lines were quotables and i can also relate to this peice as i have had the same problems dope work we have to do another collab soon.............peice
    Soft Focus



    ...The Return Of The Legends...

  4. #4
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
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    Thanks a lot for the positive feed...

    Emotion i'm down for that collabo...get at me sometime with a topic
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  5. #5
    Newbie
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    this was good, i really liked this piece man. It was awsome... lots of emotion, actually tellin somethin, and you had good vocab and flow. Great piece man. If you could hit me up with some feedback for my 2 drops that'd be greatly appreciatd.
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111585
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111615
    All lifes end but do all lifes really have a start?
    or is it one drawn out ending, till the last beat echos out from your heart?

  6. #6
    -Smoke-
    Guest
    damn this was ill...
    very emotional...everything was on point wordplay etc...
    heartfelt...
    ill shit...keep spittin...

    check my battle...

  7. #7
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
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    will do that tomorrow for you's...uppen
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  8. #8
    That's Right...I'm White Verbatim's Avatar
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    nice drop rule, you've elevated alot since the last time i've read your stuff. Vocab is really good, so was structure and flow, felt the emotion that you put into this, we can all relate to it in someway. Nice drop dawg kept me interested through out the whole thing, can't wait to see more from ya. keep droppin

    peace


    check out my latest please, there in my siggy

  9. #9
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
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    will do...up
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  10. #10
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    Hmm...I agree you do get iller with every drop...(although I still don't know why your name is rule and Jay is in your avy?)..anyway..this was a dope drop..you always come up with a dope concept(which as you know is a major plus..cayse half of the cats here are Gangstas~~~~LOL~~)..you had a great flow going on..and as always your vocab and wordplay was right on the money...good kob...peace...

  11. #11
    You've Earned a Custom Title! BombZ's Avatar
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    I'm feeling this cuz, nice piece. Vocabulary was nice, this was well written. Made me want to hear more, creative shit cuz. Keep uppin.
    Check my Open Mic 'Middle Child'..
    1
    [YOUTUBE]<iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" width="480" height="390" src="
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    frameborder="0" allowFullScreen></iframe>[/YOUTUBE]

  12. #12
    . Illus''s Avatar
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    “Was Told He Walked The Stairs To Heavon
    ..I Prayed For Answers..
    No Replies To Questions Nor A Simple Beckon”

    Very deep line, to me.

    Very nice emotional piece overall.
    Kept flow, and you kept strength threw out this
    Piece. This remind so of situation of my father when
    He was around when I was a child. Good job on this piece

    Stay dropping niceness

  13. #13
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
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    Thanks a lot for the replies...uppen
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

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