Verses Due: Saturday, January 24th 2004
Voting Ends: Monday, January 26th 2004
Topic: Footprints
Verses Due: Saturday, January 24th 2004
Voting Ends: Monday, January 26th 2004
Topic: Footprints
wordperfect?
..o0Pure0o..
Last edited by Wr!te Mind; January 24th, 2004 at 02:25 PM
Last edited by Throwaway123; January 24th, 2004 at 07:58 PM
Artificial Intelligence
Footprints:
If as a child you had it bad, believe I had it worse
Cause it hurt when his sole crushed me into the dirt
Worth-less scars and bruises vanished from my skin
But within, my father’s footprints are still a burning sin
And it’s hard to exist in life going from being ignored
To adored, then beat again for receiving poor SAT scores
And that whore just watches as he stomps me like roaches
And coaches him like golf on the technique of his approaches
The pain encroaches upon my heart turning love into distress
Yet I survive under the stress of my parent’s footsteps
Feelings sorry for myself became as common as my steps
I got too used to that feeling and lost all my regrets
My life created my personality and the way that I act
Now everyday I’m a new person trying to cover my tracks
Sadness turns to anger in my heart and suddenly I’m painless
Overwhelmed by gayness as I tense my grip around this stainless
Steel blades swerve fluently and bloodstains fill the carpet
A heartless man dies before my eyes and slides into the darkness
Turning swiftly second thoughts only support the facts
I axe the bitch across the back before she has a chance to react
My body intact the massacre ends and sorrow is shattered
Two bodies battered to death before I even knew it happened
My brain drowns in a flood of consequences and conclusions
Illusions of covering my tracks occur blurred by confusion
Feelings sorry for myself became as common as my steps
I got too used to that feeling and lost all my regrets
My life created my personality and the way that I act
Now everyday I’m a new person trying to cover my tracks
I stand alone in the widow, dreaming of tomorrow
Steaming in sorrow, prepared to swallow a hollow
I wallow through days behind or ahead of my time
I try but I can’t put the past or the future out of my mind
Sweat climbs my face as I lay and stare at the ceiling fan
Goodbyes are hard, but God is a very appealing man
My peeling hands tremble as I debate my life’s existence
I’m persistent towards dying but I don’t have the commitment
I realize the times not right and set my assassin down beside me
I could walk away from life, but my footprints will still lie behind me
Feelings sorry for myself became as common as my steps
I got too used to that feeling and lost all my regrets
My life created my personality and the way that I act
Now everyday I’m a new person trying to cover my tracks
Life..
Undefined Traces, Left Through Unknown Places Only Defined By Shoe Size..
And Everytime We Turn On The TV We Are Exposed To New Lies..
Children Cries Ring Out Through The Night, Yet We Just Walk On By..
People Sleeping In The Streets, Seems Like Society Doesn’t Even Try..
Personally I Walk By, Not Even Trying To Imagine My Self In Their Shoes..
Cuz If I Had To Choose I Would Rather Die, Then Give Up Everything To Lose..
Look Through Societies Eye’s At These Peoples Dues, And It’s Like They Don’t Exist..
The Growing Number Persists, Yet We Always Push These Problems Amiss..
We Can’t Even Assist The Growing Number, We Just Provide A Meal Once A Day..
We Don’t Even Give A Place To Stay, Just Tell Them, All They Can Do Is Pray..
Yet They Struggle Day By Day, And Yet We Don’t Even Stop To Provide Spare Change..
Seems Strange How We Eat Until Were Full, Yet Some People Starve, Is This A Fair Exchange?..
Flip It..
Woke Up Today, Unknown To My Surroundings, Seemed All I Knew Was Suffering..
When Your In My Shoes, Life Is Just A Struggle To Make Something Out Of Nothing..
So I Just Try To Get By, With Nothing To My Name Except Rags And Unknowns..
A Different Life I Wish I Was Shown, Just For A Day, So My Soul Is Not Alone..
Oh Wait, Someone Is Walking This Way Maybe This Samaritan Actually Cares..
“Have Some Spare Change Sir?”
He Walked By Like I Wasn’t Even There, Now What Did I Do To Be Treated So Unfair..
Back To Life..
Society Leave’s These Problem’s In Confide, So Our Eutopian Images Do Not Collide..
So If The World Provides You A Chance To Lend A Hand, Don’t Just Walk By In Stride..
Decide To Leave Footprints On Someones Life, And Take A Look Through Their Eyes..
Cuz You Don’t Know How Much Of A Difference You Make Until You Try Their Shoes On For Size..
Artificial Intelligence
Good competition here, you each had a similar rhyme scheme. I enjoyed Write Mind's flip on following in your parents footsteps, and his imagery I felt was the strong point of his piece. Speek put up a good verse, but I didn't like the flow as much, and the story wasn't as entertaining to read. Good battle from both.
Vote: Wr!te Mind
- MadMan -
Former Administrator's: Yes, We're That Much Better
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OHHHH FUCK SAKE...
I just doppd my reply and the fucker went back to mine and Devs pieces....
To make a long storry short...I went with Write Mind...
Im Am Terrebly sorry for not cuttin my oppinions and explainingwhy he tok it...(i got 2 more of these 2 do)
Im not saying hes better by the way..I jus felt this piece...Again....I appologize...
ArcBiggEZ
Heavyweight Penis Crew
Good pieces by both. Write mind I think got this.
Was wrote with more imagery expressed more feeling
Both were nice reads but WM took my attention better
the way WM went about this was impressive...good job.
Non the less good job by both.
But Vote Write
Soft Focus
..Returns..
This was a nice battle ... Write had a pretty solid verse overall ... A nice take on the concept ... Written well ... Flow of the piece was easy to follow ... Wrapped it up nicely ... Speek came wit a dope take on the topic ... And I like how he broke it down ... Nice way to flip the story ... Dope take on the concept ... Nicely written ... Also easy to follow ... SO both verses were even there ... Then I had to judge on who's take I enjoyed better ... And I had to go wit Speek ... SO he get my vote ...
A.i
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*Click one of ^those to check out my music and shit
Thanks for the votes guys.. lets see some more before this closes
Artificial Intelligence
Vote- Write Mind
I'm sorry I cant get into details... I just enjoyed his more....
AI
v/ Wm
both enjoying to read..i just think that wms approach was better on the peice..real easy to read and imagry was nice..e z wasnt far behind who also had a dope verse..wm's was just that little more
There Were Two Impressive Verses Here. WM's Was Well Written, Good Imagery And I Really Like The Way He Grasped The Topic.
Speek, Another Well Written Verse But I Felt It Wasnt As Well Executed As WM. Was A Very Good Verse None The Less.
Vote - WM
Write Wins
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