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Thread: Salvador Dalai Lama

  1. #1
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Salvador Dalai Lama

    Salvador Dalai Lama

    A mind well fortified
    by ill-advised convictions
    is no more than a prison
    inside a prism; refracting light.

    The convenience of coincidence
    bemeans the underlying theme of
    a self-ordained saint who preaches
    the way an angel would reach for eternity;
    knowingly already in it's grasp
    yet unkempt,
    keeping imperfect time.

    I've learned which watch to trust
    when each clock stops and Armageddon's
    right hand man etches the indefinite collapse
    into a rust colored sky.
    Too often the design which creates itself
    develops a sense that, more or less,
    equates to a third eye.
    Life is only breathed into those who seek
    answers to the questions beyond "Why?"

    Yet we still ask.

    Sequestered inside the habitual
    degradation of a morality placed
    too high for the eyes to abide.
    It's a synthetically formed habitat
    that aims to perpetuate itself;
    too symmetrical for the lines
    to bleed reasonably between
    hate and it's esteemed colleague
    ...an emotion no longer relevant.

    We work as opposites,
    attracting what congregates in the balance
    like a checkered flag.
    What had gradually replaced
    the inner-most thought,
    came from a place
    supposed to be lost.

    Wisdom is not brought upon,
    it is sent unto those who
    wear the melted truths,
    relative to the integrated faith
    proclaimed as a triple helix spun from
    a spherical fate that revolves
    around us; lingering like a Sphinx.
    The defiant empirical proof
    soothes only the civilized pride
    already condemned and entombed.

    But such as a faint touch,
    any contrite claim is consumed.
    In so much as it is right,
    wrong has long been justified -
    hiding openly in an Omen's opus.
    O Holy Knights of Columbus,
    slay this native sin;
    a requiem long since dead,
    remembered again in the candid
    half-mast handshake from a kinship
    killing itself into perfection
    after each critical mass
    hits indigenous Manhattan.

    You and I contradict the contrast.
    We concede the spiritual debris.
    What's left after the exodus
    happens to be the confusion of existing.
    The common man (God damn)
    cannot abstain obscurity.

    -as curated by the illustrious unseen.



    © Timothy Edward
    Last edited by Moniker; September 4th, 2014 at 09:52 AM
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  2. #2
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    ATTENTION Moniker,

    This automated notification is a friendly reminder for you to provide (2) links to other member submissions that you left adequate feedback to.


    Add & Follow

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  3. #3
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    Last edited by Moniker; September 4th, 2014 at 09:52 AM
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  4. #4
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Re: Salvador Dalai Lama

    I tend to make it a point not to leave feedback on poems I truly enjoy. The whole idea of feedback on poetry in general has always been a touchy issue with me. I've always felt that what makes poetry great is the individuality and uniqueness of it. Who are we to judge what comes from or at least should come from the deepest places of a person. That being said RB has taught me that not all poets write for themselves. I also feel that once a poem is publicly posted it is no longer the poets poem. I still don't feel comfortable judging based on content. That's why my feedback generally consists of fixing grammar and typos, or other issues that could make the poem better without changing anything the poet actually wrote.

    I rambled. This is basically an excuse onto why I'm not giving you super detailed feedback on your poem =)

    Your word choice as usual is specific and powerful while still somehow being delicate. Your use of big words fits which is something I still struggle to do. It read fine, nothing to say about lines or syllable counts. It brought me back to the glory days of RB. It's nice to see your style is similar to where it was when you started. Sticking to your roots and strengths.

    You, atti and even Mantra *gag* are the poets I have always looked up to and admired the most so it's really sweet to have us all semi active again. See ya around dude.
    A few achievements here and there

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  5. #5
    Halleluja Soul Slayer's Avatar
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    Re: Salvador Dalai Lama

    saved for feed later tonight

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    Scytsophrenia

    On that next level.. but STILL fuckin' crazy.


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  6. #6
    Soule
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    Re: Salvador Dalai Lama

    I'm going to have to agree with Ben when I say I can't really leave feedback on this as I loved it from beginning to end. I'll just imply that the wording... originality and flow was just off the fucking chain. Even read it to my girlfriend and she was like "you're right, he's a genius." So I'm gonna do two things then ask you to return the favor on my SSP poem. I'm gonna nominate this for hof and legends.

  7. #7
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: Salvador Dalai Lama

    I don't have time for this now. I'll come back to it.


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  8. #8
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: Salvador Dalai Lama

    Moniker, what a lovely way with words you have.
    The story teller in you tells exquisite tales intricately laced with quality wording and beautiful atmosphere.
    The imagery you portray is divine.
    Words placed with precision in a graceful manner, gentle and elegant.

    My favourite lines:

    "...I've learned which watch to trust
    when each clock stops and Armageddon's
    right hand man etches the indefinite collapse
    into a rust colored sky.
    Too often the design which creates itself
    develops a sense that, more or less,
    equates to a third eye.
    Life is only breathed into those who seek
    answers to the questions beyond "Why?"


    Stunning.

    Great read.


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