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Thread: SKULLKID- Elysium

  1. #1
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    Lightbulb SKULLKID- Elysium

    /


    ive had acid rain on a permanent loop.
    and the rhymes still resurface in two's.
    i wonder if consonance has deeper significance.
    in truth, speech at its synthesis as profound
    as fountains are deep. missives expound
    on mountains of me. & the echo is sobering.
    stencils, I'm totaling up to rough drafts of dreams.
    the sketchy half- between asks us for audacity
    to stop casting deep. expectations can cede.
    i stare at my handwriting and can't see the progression.
    I care for my family and can't beat the depression.
    genetics dictate the alpha omega
    in nostalgic arrangements. bloodline in cursive.
    once, I was perfect. every memory tessellates in
    a memorial collage with the softest inertia.
    the story of god is a process of learning.
    rum runs deeper than wine. troughs & capillaries.
    noxious adversary. when I leave her tonight,
    tomorrow will gloss in the streaks of her eye.
    graduate thesis on sadness & bullshit.
    I capture it well. waxing some grievance.
    I'm an adjective cultist with a rack of condolence.
    talk, & you can tell it exists. tap & control it.
    artificial alive. intelligence simmed
    like a season of 'chell. and seldom, it sticks,
    wisdom drifts through your mind,
    appeasing yourself is a sin & I'm a demon from hell.
    i'm tethered to fabienne. monika. the seat of the bell
    till the last one rings & boy meets world.
    phony is honest. pitch the inflection. catch her in rye.
    Elysium lives as a trick of your mind


    fine,


    i've had Manson Family skipping the vinyl.
    ticking as time, religiously since 6:45
    Snake Eyes and Sissies alike. let the children inside,
    serve dinner, then dine. roll cigarettes. flames flicker and die
    bonfire blacken the sky. cornhusk whiskey and pine
    bending over paperbacks with delicate spines
    you say it's literature, fine. i say it's documentation
    the impossible playlist - ideology on a constant rotation
    forgotten and naked. drink half a bottle and chase it
    drop a little honey. let the colony taste it
    broken clock with a facelift. bells toll for honesty's sake
    buzzing on the table. time to call in your favors
    who's at fault for behavior? is it the martyr or savior?
    follow monika's gaze. solemnly. it's part of her nature
    to empathize from distances and fake it in person
    let her cherry glow in darkness to create a diversion
    feel her breath rise like worship. our embrace, so imperfect
    lungs break beneath the weight of inertia. exhale again
    see, this life has a funny way of making me nervous
    so let me sleep, only to wake at the service. dearly departed:
    may you rise above delirium often. it's a parallel doctrine --
    rainwater in harvest season, tears in a coffin
    may your spirit pass, untarnished towards wherever you'd like
    once i left you tonight, i knew you'd never return
    let my corneas burn. acid rainstorm weather resurge
    listen once again and watch the memories blur
    its all eventually dirt. eventually's a helluva word
    condemning tomorrow. embalming present, preserved
    we'll all eventually learn. we're trading karma for goods
    listen closely. Skull Kid's alive. still lost in the woods
    woodwind melody to marinate the mourners maraude
    who praise Elysium, but realize it's all a mirage.
    I only stop by to look through you.





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    Originally Posted by Baxter D. Wall
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    That green is too loud for my tastes.

  2. #2
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    ATTENTION Split Eight,

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  3. #3
    contrived.
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    Re: SKULLKID- Elysium

    lars- Pennyroyal Blue
    Zen- The Storm
    Lenox- Pitch Black
    DJ Flame- to serve man

    Will return all feed.
    I only stop by to look through you.





    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Originally Posted by Baxter D. Wall
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    That green is too loud for my tastes.

  4. #4
    The Legend KnowP's Avatar
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    Re: SKULLKID- Elysium

    ayo, this joint was bananas from top to bottom. i cant point out a few fav lines cause they were all smashin. you got a serious knack for internals and rhyme schemes man. when i read this out loud, i had that Outkast vibe going. This was pro dog. Nom'd.

  5. #5
    contrived.
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    Re: SKULLKID- Elysium

    2nd part was Black, btw


    upppp
    I only stop by to look through you.





    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Originally Posted by Baxter D. Wall
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    That green is too loud for my tastes.

  6. #6
    The Legend KnowP's Avatar
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    Re: SKULLKID- Elysium

    Quote Originally Posted by Split Eight View Post
    2nd part was Black, btw


    upppp
    Black Hornet?

  7. #7
    contrived.
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    Re: SKULLKID- Elysium

    Quote Originally Posted by KnowP View Post
    Black Hornet?
    @black 2.0 @Black. @Blacketh @Mr. Black
    One of those fellas
    I only stop by to look through you.





    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Originally Posted by Baxter D. Wall
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    That green is too loud for my tastes.

  8. #8
    The Legend KnowP's Avatar
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    Re: SKULLKID- Elysium

    Quote Originally Posted by Split Eight View Post
    @black 2.0 @Black. @Blacketh @Mr. Black
    One of those fellas
    Lmao

  9. #9
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: SKULLKID- Elysium

    Wow, I'm surprised this has been slept on. This is a huge body of work with imagery and wording to boot.
    The first part had a really lovely poetic vibe to it and even though the rhymes weren't full on, I appreciated
    the way the story was told. Your introduction Split Eight, was great. Really sucked the reader in and made me
    want to read more.

    "ive had acid rain on a permanent loop.
    and the rhymes still resurface in two's.
    i wonder if consonance has deeper significance.
    in truth, speech at its synthesis as profound
    as fountains are deep. missives expound
    on mountains of me. & the echo is sobering.
    stencils, I'm totaling up to rough drafts of dreams..."

    I really like that. You bring out emotion well and convey your thoughts clearly, but
    I have to admit, its your vocabulary that I enjoy here and the way you click your words together.
    'on mountains of me...rough drafts of dreams...' That's great.

    My favourite part:

    "i stare at my handwriting and can't see the progression.
    I care for my family and can't beat the depression.
    genetics dictate the alpha omega
    in nostalgic arrangements. bloodline in cursive.
    once, I was perfect..."

    That is smooth and stunning. Great words, rhyme and flow.

    Second part: @black 2.0 @Black. @Blacketh @Mr. Black
    One of those fellas --- lol classic

    Ok, here we go.

    "i've had Manson Family skipping the vinyl.
    ticking as time, religiously since 6:45
    Snake Eyes and Sissies alike. let the children inside,
    serve dinner, then dine. roll cigarettes. flames flicker and die
    bonfire blacken the sky. cornhusk whiskey and pine
    bending over paperbacks with delicate spines..."

    Check that intro. It's divine. I love it. I love everything about it.
    The internals are stacked and the rhymes roll off the tongue easily
    because they flow like water. I also like the wording/msg. V cool.

    "who's at fault for behavior? is it the martyr or savior?..." Interesting question and well put
    together.

    "see, this life has a funny way of making me nervous
    so let me sleep, only to wake at the service. dearly departed:
    may you rise above delirium often. it's a parallel doctrine --
    rainwater in harvest season, tears in a coffin..."

    I think your atmosphere is consistent letting us enjoy the imagery.
    Words put together well, not stagnating or taking away from the content.
    And the outro did justice to the rest of the piece.

    Guys, as a collab, this was up there, imo and even though your styles were
    different to each other they worked. I thought this was a really well thought out
    piece, it's obvious to me you worked on it and cultivated the content till it popped.

    Great job guys.
    I really enjoyed this piece of writing.
    Awesome read.
    Last edited by Emily; September 4th, 2014 at 08:25 AM


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  10. #10
    contrived.
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    Re: SKULLKID- Elysium

    thanks (: means a lot, im thankful for the close reading
    I only stop by to look through you.





    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    Originally Posted by Baxter D. Wall
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    That green is too loud for my tastes.

  11. #11
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: SKULLKID- Elysium

    It sucks that this hasn't been fed hardly at all. Such a good piece. Slept on. Shame.


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