SS Finale: Cognition vs. Oatmeal - OPEN FOR VOTES

[Brandon Cee]

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Topic is shown above.

Rules and Regulations

Please note the due times in the rules. Be on time, and as always, good luck!

[Mr. Black]

present.

lets make this destination worth the journey..

goodluck my friend.

[oatmeal]

yup good luck

[Mr. Black]

ahem,

every .. letter.

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What is it good for?

yo,


To shape a civilization - man vs. wild, the industrial
turkey in a perfect little pile in your lunchable,
highly combustable, clouds that narrow a windpipe
soliders fight in tuxedos lined with heroin pinstripes -
the American midnight - Rocket power, Reggie in dimebags
Squids washed upon the riverbanks for chemical finance,
intersectional bypass - blacktop, paint in a dotted line
directs whiplashing cars filled with slaves to the dollar sign -
we placed a trojan horse inside the basement of columbine,
watched a murder crawl out and framed hatred for homicide.
but hatred is authorized .. it's a volatile weapon,
always changing it's structure, endless model selection:
there's hostile aggression, bitterness, shame & regret ,
isolation, neglect; or double barrel aimed at your neck -
racism, tension, pent-up rage is repressed,
and we wonder why the Middle East invaded the West ..
Major, Lieutenant, Sargent, Captain, or King
puppets captured in a web, the Black tarantula's string -
the Sopranos will sing an ode to mafia ties,
notes bloodthirsty enough to cause Gaddafi to rise.
while our audience cries, it's time for curtains to fall
9/11 was the first and last emergency call..
begging God to grant serenity and mercy to all -
alas, Berlin is not the only great, impervious wall.
Our purpose is scrawled in constellational patterns,
so fortune telling is the only occupation that matters..
that tug-of-war that comes with conversational chatter,
is what keeps the better part of populations in taverns.
conservation, disaster - mirrored shadows on a carpeted floor
war is art, art is beauty, beauty started the war.
Death departed the morgue in search of Heavenly bliss,
became a Livestrong band around Destiny's wrist.
Marine Corpses camouflaged behind intestinal rips,
signed their souls to the Devil & He let 'em enlist.
while physicists are on a mission for dimensional shifts,
we fight to capture back those precious seconds we missed..
the future's bright, the past is glorified, the present's a bitch -
in this war, the draft's a process we could never resist.

take a second to listen - this aint an anthem for peace,
broken eggs can make an omelet, Death can fashion a feast.
Food for thought - war is more than troops attacking in fleets,
cuz there's a battle beneath the North Face logo stamped to your fleece.
we've mobilized an army of compassionate beasts,
expressing hatred for their enemies with passive beliefs.
the chasm is deep - our cycle seems deliciously wretched,
sometimes ethics & survival hold a different perspective.

it's pitiful trenches, dinner selections, first-string vs. secondaries
WAR - they ask what is it good for?
and I answer: absolutely .. necessary.

“We make war that we may live in peace.”

- Aristotle

- Black

[oatmeal]

no worries. I'm ready to post now (finally), but check your pms first.

[oatmeal]

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Thought Auditing

I had this elaborate allegory combining science and art
where I highlighted the spark between the mind and the heart
I likened the brain to a desert - barren, wild and parched
a regretful impression sunken under miles of starch
to search across it is a process undeniably stark
the thirst for knowledge is the cause for all its life to embark
it was packed with brilliance, full of wisdom that I tried to impart
perfect in every way...except being contrived from the start
it was lively and smart, balancing light with the darkness
I talked about how death can breathe new life in the market
I even wrote a wordplay like: "I'm bullish on life stocks" (in the margins)
topped off with theories from academic titans I hearkened
but at the end it felt like I was just recycling garbage -
it's good and all, but it'll never ripen for harvest
I used to settle like, "don't sweat it, it's the plight of the artist"
but the lesson of growth for a writer is most likely the hardest
what I was writing was Carthage, a nihilist plot
I had content and concepts neatly tied up in knots
but the soul of the words was entirely lost
so here I am, intent with every rhyme that I jot
I want to capture the emotion of a cry in a thought
and decipher the cost of all the lies I forgot
I move to the tune of Siren songs, here’s the miles I’ve plotted
with the tease that I’ve crossed, my third i MUST be dotted
this desert is mine, let me saunter through my mind while I pause it
cuz this itch for the pen proves that it's time for an audit...

initializing audit

life is hurry up and wait; you either feast or famine
simply put: good things happen until they cease to happen
some days she won’t show you shit except for pieces or fractions
until she releases her sequins and strips free of her satin
this mentality’s valid, but I find it breeds inaction:
if the contract’s written backwards, why bother to read the captions?
I’ve gone back to the Master and said “try offering equal rations”
but He just mocks all my feats and passions so fuck it…
in my mind I’m on a walk on a beach in Athens
see I’ve got some issues with God, our most passive of masters
and they’re magnified by the fact that my dad is a pastor
meanwhile I’m hoping 2012 brings a massive disaster
so I can have some validation that I actually matter
if I get passed in the rapture, then what can you do
till then I’m doubting everybody who’s discovered the Truth
I got my father’s love but still I got something to prove
if it was between me and God, I don’t know which one he would choose
perhaps I’m dumb to give these thoughts so much space for entertaining
I complain that life’s unfair, then I complain that I’m complaining
I have this cruel desire to fuel the fire of hatred I’ve been saving
and unleash it on the hypocrites…though I’m basically the same thing
there’s something sacred and amazing in the mist of the rain
a suspended reflection traveling an infinite plane
I’ve driven fists into brains, wasted precious moments making bitches of saints
now I got hands of stone, but fuck…I just wish I could paint

this shit is the same for all of us, life is hopelessly stormy
folks say “wait till you’re older” but they don’t need to warn me
cuz I’m a jokeless romantic and I know that it’s corny
but I still struggle to discern between lonely and horny
this is the soul of my story, none of it’s makeshift
inside I’m frowning, downtrodden—outside I’m numb from the facelift
I host a garden of regrets where my lush mistakes sit
like when I forfeited a lover with true talent for a slut with fake tits
I try to escape this emptiness like the fool that I must be
cuz I can’t stop hearing birds chirping pretty music and just…breathe
one flash of a smile and I find myself stooping on one knee
the same smile I have when I tell my students it’s cool to be drug free
but now I’ve found love with a girl who is brutally ugly
her eyes are slanted, legs bent, and she drools when she hugs me
my down syndrome princess makes this existence feel unusually lucky—
cuz there’s no question she tells the truth when she coos that she loves me...

audit complete

we’ve been through a lot now, you’ve had glance at my travels, stories
but remember when we walked through my abandoned allegory?
I said the mind was a desert through which we struggle to search
it was ugly at first, but now it suddenly…works
it’s a barren wasteland with no words for solace
the only way to keep it alive is to thirst for knowledge
you’ll have to wander through heartache to find a wealth of subtleties
cuz the highest knowledge of all is that of self-discovery
be patient for growth, eventually you’ll catch a break
allow your mind to be a desert…let the negativity evaporate

How do I know what I think until I see what I say?

[Str8 JackIt]

BLACK

there's hostile aggression, bitterness, shame & regret ,
isolation, neglect; or double barrel aimed at your neck -
racism, tension, pent-up rage is repressed,
and we wonder why the Middle East invaded the West ..

Major, Lieutenant, Sargent, Captain, or King
puppets captured in a web, the Black tarantula's string -
the Sopranos will sing an ode to mafia ties,
notes bloodthirsty enough to cause Gaddafi to rise.
while our audience cries, it's time for curtains to fall
9/11 was the first and last emergency call..
begging God to grant serenity and mercy to all -
alas, Berlin is not the only great, impervious wall.

conservation, disaster - mirrored shadows on a carpeted floor
war is art, art is beauty, beauty started the war.
Death departed the morgue in search of Heavenly bliss,
became a Livestrong band around Destiny's wrist.

the future's bright, the past is glorified, the present's a bitch -
in this war, the draft's a process we could never resist.

Very, very strong ending lines here

take a second to listen - this aint an anthem for peace,
broken eggs can make an omelet, Death can fashion a feast.
Food for thought - war is more than troops attacking in fleets,
cuz there's a battle beneath the North Face logo stamped to your fleece.
we've mobilized an army of compassionate beasts,
expressing hatred for their enemies with passive beliefs.
the chasm is deep - our cycle seems deliciously wretched,
sometimes ethics & survival hold a different perspective.

it's pitiful trenches, dinner selections, first-string vs. secondaries
WAR - they ask what is it good for?
and I answer: absolutely .. necessary.

now....after all these quotes, black obtained a great piece here, the image that appears is like a group hug circle of debate between politicians and regular highly though-of civilians....

the flow was amazing, the story trailed nicely from beginning to end, getting more powerful and emotional as it went on...of course the "'s are what stood out to me. overall great piece, the structure in which you attacked the concept was good, which helped the content seem more powerful...

Oatmeal

I had this elaborate allegory combining science and art
where I highlighted the spark between the mind and the heart
I likened the brain to a desert - barren, wild and parched
a regretful impression sunken under miles of starch

-off rip a better opening 4 than blacks, which sets a good tone....

but at the end it felt like I was just recycling garbage -
it's good and all, but it'll never ripen for harvest
I used to settle like, "don't sweat it, it's the plight of the artist"
but the lesson of growth for a writer is most likely the hardest

so here I am, intent with every rhyme that I jot
I want to capture the emotion of a cry in a thought

with the tease that I’ve crossed, my third i MUST be dotted

see I’ve got some issues with God, our most passive of masters
and they’re magnified by the fact that my dad is a pastor
meanwhile I’m hoping 2012 brings a massive disaster
so I can have some validation that I actually matter

damn

this shit is the same for all of us, life is hopelessly stormy
folks say “wait till you’re older” but they don’t need to warn me
cuz I’m a jokeless romantic and I know that it’s corny
but I still struggle to discern between lonely and horny

good piece here as well...lot of thought put into this apparently by the length....overall, good flow, some imagery here n there....clearly a lot of emotion...quoted the favs. i can say i like his approach to the picture/topic. came with a concept that wasn't extraordinary, but creatively abstract from what i would've came up with....during the "audit" area though, it just seemed like a rant in some cases, which i understand why, but it just seemed a lil nag-ish after like the 10th line of it. well executed concept....very powerful wordplay and rhyme scheme in the first stanza....

-----BREAKDOWN VOTE-----

so.......basically as the thoughts continue to grow in my brain on how an opinion could really base the logic for a winner.......i believe that BLACK had a stronger piece, given with his deep content and his concept broadened up a more creative story, and more avenues in which to write in details about many more subjects, as to where oats was a creative way to speak about the mind, i think his concept limited his content, which dulled his piece during the "Audit" area with the rantish-style content of 2nd stanza



so my vote is BLACK

[trajik]

Black: This was definitely worth the wait, damn this was a great piece. This flowed incredibly well and your rhyme scheme was very impressive. The multis and internals littered throughout helped assemble the flow and made it an even better read. Put the rhyme scheme aside and I look at the wording of this piece, 90 percent of the word choices made me think damn, how does he pick the perfect words in the perfect spots. The rhyme scheme, wording and content made this an incredibly intriguing read, you were very creative conceptually, very good direction to come out of the picture, never in a million years would I have thought to connect a fucked up picture like this to a piece about war and peace. Very well written, Black, you made it worth the wait and every bit deserving of the finale.

Oaty Goodness: Also worth the wait, Oats. The imagery in this piece was impeccable and the emotion was solid, forcing the reader to feel.. Something. You had a great usage of multis throughout the piece giving it a great flow which stayed on point from start to finish. You used some very creative wording and content throughout, this seemed exceptionally unique from concept to execution. This was another impressive piece by you, Oats, well done.

Vote: Conceptually, Black hit this one out of the park, while I wasn't feeling Oat's concept much at all. The writing in both was superb but Black's had a greater WOW factor to his. Great battle and well worth the wait, maybe another legendary battle for Oats?

Black






Please RTF on my collab with Langston, it's been nom'd.
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...119/index.html

[Soule]

Well, two weeks later and you both finally fucking show up. Though I was losing faith and on the brink of leaving this site because Sacred Scriptures is really the only reason I'm here. This was well worth the wait. Blacketh, I know you don't like me voting on your battles. But I couldn't avoid this one. Have it disqualified if you want, I'm more concerned with reading both these pieces than voting anyway.

Blacketh, this was a fucking amazing piece bro. Though I've seen you take similar concepts before. I feel like this may have easily been your greatest approach on it yet. The wording in this entire piece was fucking fantastic...

there's hostile aggression, bitterness, shame & regret ,
isolation, neglect; or double barrel aimed at your neck -

Major, Lieutenant, Sargent, Captain, or King
puppets captured in a web, the Black tarantula's string -

conservation, disaster - mirrored shadows on a carpeted floor
war is art, art is beauty, beauty started the war.

the chasm is deep - our cycle seems deliciously wretched,
sometimes ethics & survival hold a different perspective.

Easily some of the best writing I've seen on this site, or any forum I've posted on for that matter sir. The rhyme scheme you used seemed so clean and balance. It's as if you spent half an hour editing every bar to it's perfection. As I read, the pace rolled off my tongue quicker and quicker. It was just sooooo smooth. I can't explain it. By the end of this piece, I wanted to revoke a lot of the shit I've said to you in recent months. Reminded me that I'll never be THIS good. Awesome read bud.

Oatmeal, holy fuck you goddam beast! You honestly made voting in this battle a lot more difficult than I'd hope asshole. Your wording was pretty fucking raw throughout most of the piece. I honestly can't complain other than my retarded ass had to pull up dictionary.com for half your vocabulary... I can really say the second and third stanzas were by far my favorite. Even though there were quotables out the fucking asshole in this piece dude...

in my mind I’m on a walk on a beach in Athens
see I’ve got some issues with God, our most passive of masters
and they’re magnified by the fact that my dad is a pastor
meanwhile I’m hoping 2012 brings a massive disaster
so I can have some validation that I actually matter

there’s something sacred and amazing in the mist of the rain
a suspended reflection traveling an infinite plane

cuz I’m a jokeless romantic and I know that it’s corny
but I still struggle to discern between lonely and horny

I try to escape this emptiness like the fool that I must be
cuz I can’t stop hearing birds chirping pretty music and just…breathe

my down syndrome princess makes this existence feel unusually lucky—
cuz there’s no question she tells the truth when she coos that she loves me...

These just simply blew me away honestly bro. I've noticed with your writing you always have some sort of God vs. Science thing going on. In every piece you hint it off somewhere. Are you one of them scientologist types that believe Evolution was not caused by God or something? The piece flow raw as FUCK! Like, the entire thing had no bumps or scrapes. This makes voting a bitch...


Honestly, both came fucking incredibally. I've edited this post a dozen times. I was trying to make it look like I was voting for Blacketh...than I read Oatmeal's and I made it so I looked like I was voting for hims...than I looked at Blacketh's quotes and changed it back to him...but than I looked at Oatmeal's quotes and switched it back too him. It's difficult as fuck. I would normally have you both wait until tomorrow so I could read both pieces and edit in my vote after time of thinking about it. But after two weeks, you both probably want this over with lol. I'm not 100% about this decision. But nonetheless, a decision needs to be made my friends... I really enjoyed Blacketh's piece. His concept, his approach, the lines I quoted. I really enjoyed Oatmeal's piece. His concept, his approach, the lines I quoted and his abstract use of words. Both men used really legit quotes to help tie their pieces in at the end...but ONE winner must be chosen.

As far as originality goes, you both easily took the cake there. Nothing short of fresh writing on either team... but I have to give Oatmeal the creativity side honestly...which tilts the weight towards him...

vote Oatmeal.

[Bongkers]

Great battle folks.. Figured I drop a vote seeing as hardly anyone else has. Firstly Black, I'm getting tired of saying this but you've done it again, another near on flawless verse.. amazing multies (you've probably got the best rhyme scheme game out of anyone I've seen online) and your wording was ill. The concept was good, ended it nicely; tying everything up at the end for a strong finish. Although I could damn near quote your entire verse this was my favourite section.

Our purpose is scrawled in constellational patterns,
so fortune telling is the only occupation that matters..
that tug-of-war that comes with conversational chatter,
is what keeps the better part of populations in taverns.
conservation, disaster - mirrored shadows on a carpeted floor
war is art, art is beauty, beauty started the war.
Death departed the morgue in search of Heavenly bliss,
became a Livestrong band around Destiny's wrist.
Marine Corpses camouflaged behind intestinal rips,
signed their souls to the Devil & He let 'em enlist.
while physicists are on a mission for dimensional shifts,
we fight to capture back those precious seconds we missed..
the future's bright, the past is glorified, the present's a bitch -
in this war, the draft's a process we could never resist.

One of you're best drops this season, well done.


Oats, thanks for making this decision so difficult, asshole. You really went ham on this and like black had a near on flawless verse with crisp rhyming and flow throughout. You did have a few lines I thought were kinda random but it wasn't enough for me to decide a winner. What it really comes down to is the concept you chose which unfortunately didn't hit as hard as Blacks did for me.. the structure, although spot on, still wasn't quite as good as blacks IMO apart from that your verse was insane and this should definitely be considered for legends. I was feeling your whole verse pretty much but this part stuck out to me

topped off with theories from academic titans I hearkened
but at the end it felt like I was just recycling garbage -
it's good and all, but it'll never ripen for harvest
I used to settle like, "don't sweat it, it's the plight of the artist"
but the lesson of growth for a writer is most likely the hardest
what I was writing was Carthage, a nihilist plot
I had content and concepts neatly tied up in knots
but the soul of the words was entirely lost
so here I am, intent with every rhyme that I jot
I want to capture the emotion of a cry in a thought
and decipher the cost of all the lies I forgot
I move to the tune of Siren songs, here’s the miles I’ve plotted
with the tease that I’ve crossed, my third i MUST be dotted
this desert is mine, let me saunter through my mind while I pause it
cuz this itch for the pen proves that it's time for an audit...

Great battle.. close, but I have black taking it because he really didn't miss step once.. peace

[Art.]

this is prolly gonna be the shittiest vote break down but fuck both of u guys =]

black- i always think that your gonna slip up one day with this shit but you never do, each piece i read from you is better than the last, and this piece was great. from your multies to your word choicces to your story telling ability it was really hard to find a flaw in this verse. opened nicely really grabbed my attention and then held it until the very end when you wrapped up your piece. amazing dropp man good shit and keep itup.

oat- well oats after reading blacks vverse i thought youd have to come with fire to keep up with it, and welll.. =/ ...you did lol way to hold your ground , almost everything was perfect in this verse and matched up against blacks verse nicely. i seen people saying they didnt like the concept its personal opinion i didnt think it was bad. a couple of lines to me read awkward, but i went back and read it again and it sounded fine to mee. overal great drop.

sooo it comes down for me as personal liking, so hard to judge cause both verses were written great, but ima go with black cause everyone else voted for him =]

just playing i like how black tackled his piece just a bit more than oat did, i did like oats concept but i felt blacks a lil better and i felt his rhyme scheme a bit more, overal just a smoother read....good dropp guys , nice final battle

vote black

[soulstice.]

voting soon

[soulstice.]

Black - So a commentary on what war is good for, or rather, what war creates (is what I think the piece is about from the outset) The american midnight lines were absolutely nasty. The imagery created was perfect - it evoked the setting of rocket power (good shit btw, haha) and flipped on its head, the dark side of a beach paradise. The slave to the dollar sign is pretty played wording, but the rigidity of the imagery of you created made it fit - slaves to the dollar sign following painted lines with such alacrity and dedication they do so to the point of whiplash. The segue into the hatred section was smooth and the definitions of hatred you provided were also top notch in wording, rhyming, and truthfulness. You flipped war into a concept that can apply to two people just in conversation, which made the concept you were tackling into any internal battle we face, not just army vs army. The fact that such introspection is neccessary couldve been expanded upon more I thought but it still got me thinking enough, which is a perfectly acceptable endgame to a piece. Good shit.

oatmeal - This was pretty sick as well. I didn't feel that the opening verse was entirely necessary, aside from the mind being a desert bit. I think the whole feeling lost in life vibe was driven home early in that stanza and dragged on a little bit. The thought auditing part was dope though. The 2012 disaster/actually matter couplet was the bar of the verse, contesting against blacks american midnight part for line of the battle. The search for God/truth/meaning was sort of scattered, but I actually found that quite appropriate because, well, how do you know where to begin searching for something like that. It seemed as if what you were searching for slipped away a few times, and eventually everything in your/characters life went hazy, until you found a lover with down syndrome. And everything evaporated. All the haze (you created an atmosphere of wandering around life in a haze of confusion, to me) disappeared and then you related that to your original concept of the mind being a desert. Very cool shit, somewhat tough to follow. In a mostly Challenging way, not ambiguous.

Ok - so I think both started out with a concept, expanded upon the concept, almost too much, and then closed it back up by relating it to the original thought. It's almost like you guys took a starting point and an ending point, presented them to the reader, and said "alright, think about WHATEVER you want, just start here and end there". Both of you really opened up the concept for me and let me take it where I wanted it, with the words of the writer as a loose guide rather than a strict path. Very artistic of you two. However, I thought black absolutely killed the flow category while oatmeal was pretty jumpy as he got to his third stanza. I also think oatmeal's concept was too broad - not unoriginal, really - the search for meaning jawn has been done a little, it just needs to be rehashed in a way that lets me take an original thought or viewpoint from the piece. Overall, I thought Black, both conceptually and rhythmically, was more polished.

v blacketh

sick championship battle congrats to both!

[oatmeal]

Well that's a wrap, good match, Black.