Cemetaries of London

[Witty]

Cemeteries of London

Open up your eyes, and see like me

Rain beats upon the cobbled streets, smog choking the air
Moonlight shrouded in clouds, I come forth from my lair
Some call me evil, because I'm taking this city, and curing it's pain,
They judge me, call me a monster...but yet, aren't sure of my name

All my life I've known my mission, it wasn't my own decision,
A higher power delivered me, to cure evil and show my vision
Life without temptation, a dream that decides my occupation
I've been patient, working on my own to unite this nation
Head down - I creep through the streets of this dead town
Rain lashing my back, the scenes force on my face a sad frown
Gripping my weapon of truth and power, I spot this cancerous demon,
A soul so tempting to devour, begging me to release it from it's heathen
Stalking my prey, I scope out an alley, discreet and private
Where it can decay, people unaware of the beast inside it
Seizing my chance, I grab it, it screams when I puncture the lung,
And roars when I rip out the guts, that's it's last song now..it's done
So I run, leave it's soul to God, and it's body for the morning sun

I attend it's funeral, sickened by the grieving for this scum
My stomach heaving, I leave, my brain battered, sore and numb
Reeling inside, even in death it's evil deceives and corrupts,
I must take another, tonight, one hasn't relieved me enough,
So I creep, and I strike...another evil spirit leaving the night
I see in my sight, God's face.....it's brief and it's bright
He smiles, and blesses me...'I love you, I designed you specially
To do my bidding, every demon that dies...impresses me '
As I open my eyes, inside I'm free...as it lies decaying beside me,
I smile at it, grab it's filthy body...and start flaying it wildly
Once I'm done I walk away, happy I've done all that I can,
Now my Father will look upon me...and he'll call me a man

The media slanders me, branding me cowardly and lethal,
Trying to make out those that I'm devouring are 'people'
When actually they're evil, with demonic power, and deceitful
Nobody but me can see through the eyes of The Lord that I please
'Women' aren't human...they're a cancer, ever-growing, a disease
Their shells can rot, I'll keep doing this, until the day I drop
They name me Jack, call me evil...because I'm blessed...
...and they are not

Freedom comes with sacrifice

Cry - I am a bit rushed right now, but I'll get the links up ASAP, you know you can trust that.

[Witty]

.........

[soulstice.]

good shit, i just wrote a piece with a similiar concept called god's work? in the rstl, but i like the take you took on jack the ripper... if it was just about jack the ripper or the killing for god thing, it wouldntve heen half of fresh, but you combined the two to give it a nice touch.. good work, the descriptiveness wasnice in the opening stanza and the imagery kept going throughout the piece, strong work overall, rhyming was prettttttty good nothing fantastic, a few spots it was kind of simple, and in a few spots one line seemd a lot more stretched than the preceding one... a line where this specifically stuck out at me was the "cancer, ever,growing, a disease" segment, seemed those three descriptive terms stretched out a bit... also above in the second stanza when you rhymed me/free/me... simple rhyme scheme and you rhymed me twice, which isnt a HUGE mistake if you were to seperate the me and me with more internal rhymes, but in this case it wasn't and they both ended a line, just made it look unprofessional... but i have no real big complaints, this piece was solidly done and was very original good work sire

hit up two mountains if you ever happen to find some time on your hands

[Ink Poyzin]

this certainly was some good shit. it has very good imagery. you describe the many area's where his missions are taking place. to cure evil. you had alot of good wording such as 'smog choking the air'. that type of shit is really catchy. 'So I run, leave it's soul to God, and it's body for the morning sun', dope. i'd say the 2nd part was definitely my favorite.
I see in my sight, God's face.....it's brief and it's bright
He smiles, and blesses me...'I love you, I designed you specially
To do my bidding, every demon that dies...impresses me '
I think when people do this in pieces.. it kinda brings it to life more. you get to hear the inner voices. the voices pushing you to keep doing it. to keep killing or whatever the situation may be in their piece.

Women' aren't human...they're a cancer, ever-growing, a disease

amen..
this was a great story, man. i dont know why people are putting the matress on this.. you have alot of potential. this piece was more then just decent. it's dope. i have no complaints.

[blitzo]

Hell yeah bro. this shit was deep. wide range of vocab and imagery. i liked the rhyme scheme too there when you started.

Trek onward brotha

[Bruklor]

Good shit, brother. There's always something to neat and dramatic about Jack the Ripper. His inspiration I find is all over the place, mentioned everywhere. He is also a great figure, when thought about in a specific way, such as you did here. I liked it.

As far as your writing is concerned, I thought you did a great job. Your "flow" is, as per usual, on point and direct. Some of your use of words was quite nice as well. Such as "shells". Thought that was a very appropriate choice of words, sir.

As for a line that really stood out, I would have to say the end of your first verse,
"So I run, leave it's soul to God, and it's body for the morning sun"

Peace dood!

[Witty]

Thanks

[Cody Nash]

get your links god damn it... you have 24 hours!

now...


I shall read it.


wow, heh.. this was sick. Some good images here, I LOVE the beginning way more than the remainder of this piece... everything was just crazy and you didn't know why it was happening or even that it was happening to regular people for that matter... It was cool. Then, everything starts to unfold and things start to make more sense.. once the name Jack popped up I sort've smiled and kept reading. It was then that everything clicked entirely, even the title made more sense once I got to the name. Love reads like this, and you did really well man... btw, I'd hate to close a piece as good as this, so get your MOTHERFUNKING LINKS BITCH... Lmao, good shit. props and thanks for the read. peace.