rusty cage

[Iglosone]

Been more than...
...once betrayed, and nothings changed
for years been thrust away - inside this rusty cage
saying fuck this day, soul crushed enraged
full of lust and rage, no longer trust or pray
there's a hole in my soul and the cold is massive
got no distractions as they hold me captive
show no reactions, know that hope is past us
there's no way out, just a closed up passage
bars covered in rust, there's nothing to trust
hope and pride resides buried, under the dust
dismayed I pray for death, when will my number be up
no escape, pound my fist on the bars
only hate, my whole existence is flawed
so I stare in a daze, outside of this cell
where the zombies all live, inside of their spell
my desires have swelled, I keep on trying to tell
my story but they ignore me, confined with in hell
where fires do dwell, it's dark in these in bars
and my heart has been scared, playing this part is too hard
despair spreads everywhere, and starts to enlarge
imagine eternal darkness, not a spark or a charge
food has lost its appeal, it's like I'm not really real
I'm slowly turning...into monster concealed
people visit...but I shun them aside
and wonder oh why, all I want to do, is slumber and hide

I never had...glory or fame, my story's the same
only feeling sorry and pained, morbid and strange
forced into shame and deformed in the brain
like I was born in the rain, stored up in chains
abnormal insane, no one'll mourn when I'm slain
never conformed to the game sorry to bore you again
I'll just wait in my trap, hating the fact
that I never see light, all I'm facing is black
and my patience is passed, heart racing too fast
never been up front, only remained in the back.
Maybe I'm chemical flawed. Was life meant to be hard
I never had faith, don't even mention a god
I just struggle with the path life sent me upon
I think back to all the times I was called a worthless fuck
and then the hurt erupts, my ego's surely crushed
went through every school, alone and friendless
the misery's cold and endless, plus so relentless
no life inside me, always solemn and stressing
this rusty cage has a name...I call it depression


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...902/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...178/index.html

[Mimic]

Woah, felt like a heart felt storm just rushed past my face.. this peice was real nice and the moral was exquisite how the description was really detailed and fitted in well with everything you was describing, you gave detail that made me imagine, endure the background/surroundings the part i was reading was placed in, that was nice.. the flow made the story all that much more fluent and kept me in depth with the whole situation you were feeling... The ending was a gobsmacker, how all this imagary, all the heart felt lines fell into one bar at the end, how you just realised the misery your living is within depression in itself, and almost felt you were struggling to find what was keeping you back, why you were so captured and trapped in your own head... then you came up with the theory 'depression'... a real nice peice... i've always loved your work.. and no doubt i always will.. you never fail to impress me... keep it up and honestly keep writing that... because it's transparent to see that your talent is immense... thank you for a real good read.. well worth the read, Talented.

Rtf on mine please.

[Iglosone]

thanks.. up

[Jikom]

As a recent poster, I just want to say this is really good. Lots of emotion, descriptive and heavy on the imagery. However, I felt some parts were just rhyme scheme filler. I love how it was structured, with lots of imagery and description int he first verse, then a nice tie up at the end. The way it was an extended metaphor for depression really hit me. I have to say, I love this.

[Iglosone]

thank you

[Well Versed]

wow...just awesome...i didnt expect anything less tho...it was wonderful...great emotion...great concept...so real too...i believe we cud all relate to this...wonderful vocab n wording....metaphors were great...i mean just everything came together so great on this shit...stayed on topic....lots of deepness in it as well...this was just such a pleasure to read...i really enjoyed it!!! KEEP WRITING THAT GREAT SHIT n STAY UP ON WHAT U DO BRUH!!!

[dreaming_awake]

I see you're still droppin the sick ass multis man. This one seemed a little long while I was reading it but by the time I got to the end I figured it was worth it. Definitely a good drop man. This holds a lot of rage and paints a vivid dark picture.

[Iglosone]

thanks david.. dreaming, been a minute.. Im still sad you collab got slept on so much

[Don Q]

wut a decent post man. i really felt da wordplay n how da vibe on every line and dats sorta my style 7.5 man good work.can u pleaz return da favor n leave feedbak

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...761/index.html

[Mr. Black]

reading this .. i forgot the name if it was rusty cage .. and after reading the last line, i thought the way you took the title was real well done - it seems the first portion was sort of outlying your condition, describing how you felt inside this claustrophobic cage of depression. your wording was very strong throughout the whole thing. you had some interesting lines about a second party holding you captive. its more accurate than you may even think, since depression is not a conscious decision one makes, its the brain reacting and dispersing chemicals on its own. no one wants to be depressed, its an external wall pushing in.

the second part struck as sort of a background for what realistically put you in this cage. it was a deeper focus

never had...glory or fame, my story's the same
only feeling sorry and pained, morbid and strange
forced into shame and deformed in the brain
like I was born in the rain, stored up in chains
abnormal insane, no one'll mourn when I'm slain

the intro to this portion is actually my favorite in the piece i think. real smooth and vivid - the whole verse flowed well, you were on point with most technical aspects. pretty polished work here - i definitely feel this, consistent illness on your point fam

keep puttin em down ..

1

[Iglosone]

thanks black

[ViS.]

this was a pretty tight drop.. good rhyme schemes which lead to a great flow.. came off real smooth.. lyrically this was good aswell. good vocabulary. this would sound good as an audio it had that sort of flow to it.. heres my favorite part. flow was bang on lyrics and imagery was tight..

never had...glory or fame, my story's the same
only feeling sorry and pained, morbid and strange
forced into shame and deformed in the brain
like I was born in the rain, stored up in chains
abnormal insane, no one'll mourn when I'm slain


rtf if you can

[dreaming_awake]

thanks david.. dreaming, been a minute.. Im still sad you collab got slept on so much

Yea it's all good man. Check out my new piece if ya want and drop some feed bro. Maybe we could throw down on another collab some time.

[Genocide]

this was yet another wow piece glos, your topicals never fail kid. i know when i open one its gonna be fire and nothing short of it. your rhymes and syllable matching are insanely on point. your content never dwindles and stays on track all the way through. ive become a big fan kiddo -but you knew that, 1

[Iglosone]

upin' out of pure greed lolz