Finding Absolution [Cry & God0fWar]

[Cody Nash]

Finding Absolution
By: God0fWar & Cry





Psychiatrist: So, tell me. What's your biggest issue in life right now?

Patient: Well uhh.. I don't really uh, think I have a problem, man.

Psychiatrist: Then you wouldn't be here would you? The first step to solving every problem is admitting you have a problem. So again, tell me what it is.. or who it is, that is causing your life all this pain and suffering you keep locked up. We've got 34 minutes left, and I'm not going anywhere.

Okay.. well...


Man my shoulders weighted, my heart mus' be cold or tainted
I know she loves me, but I just wanna roll or escape it
her holds escapeless, neithers interested in truth
conversations turn to screams, screams turn to domestic disputes
I cant accept this abuse, wait... she's so sexy I need ta focus clearer
but while shes tryin on clothes
im watchin the girl behind her pose in tha mirror
sometimes I just need to be near her, but do I really love?
I mean she gave me her innocence.. so I'm the only thing shes guilty of
I feel filthy...fuck, there cant just be nothin
I gave her an engagement ring, that has to mean somethin
maybe i dont trust n, that'll be my best excuse
but I love how it feels, when I chill, n jus lay down next ta you
to upset ta move, she thinks shes bringing our lives closer
but if shes the love of my life.. christ I think my lifes over
I need my mind sober, tired of feeling a lovers sorrow
maybe if I just go to sleep. I'll wake up n love her tomorow
its so fuckin hard tho, i dont know if I can let u go
maybe I can, but god damn
if im so unsure, then how tha fuck do i let you know

Psychiatrist: Okay so it's a girl, well then let's go deeper. Tell me how you REALLY feel. Just... let your thoughts carry the conversation. Pretend I'm her.

Man, didn't I just tell you...

A burden's on me, but God damn this heart that returns to armies,
'cause sometimes.. it's just so much I'd prefer departing?
but day-dream's done; return to sparks we.. can't be talkin' this,
we can't be honest, it's just another fight, we're happy opposites!
hands seem lost to width.. and the length's overwhelming..
fingertips cross and shift, then you can always tell we...
- no wait.. please, help me!
before my mistake; or seed, comes and sails free..
binding hatred together with some saline just to nail feet
- and hands down to a cross, one created in love by vow of a God,
one I'm not sure I believe in, so for now I'm just... "Lost"
lost to love, but not lost to lust, I guess that makes me a sinner...
is it wrong that I think more about what she makes me for dinner?
and less about making it with her? I dunno this, but...
I can't get a handle on anything but the ones I grope to fuck,
love's slowin' up.. it almost feels brain-dead...
I'm attracted to any dame except the one that I came with,
I want to fuck someone famous, I want to take this...
to the next level? riiight, marry the girl I had to already break in,
niiice... Man, I HATE THIS, I just can't decide..
especially when she's so good to me that I have to lie...
have to try and brave through, relate to love and make due,
even if that means caring for a baby that grows up to hate you...
Absolution.. it's brain-food, it makes you just who you are,
and on a downhill slope, is where my love for you starts.


Patient: So Doc, I guess need absolution.

Psychiatrist: *laughs* good luck with that.

[Cody Nash]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...291/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...50863&posted=1

[SMZ]

damn my net here... typed a long ass response and it crashed

um... mainly i said everything was quite solid - and i might be slow, but something confused me, thru most of the piece you refer to the girl as 'her' or 'she' etc while talking to the doctor... but some lines say 'you' and it left me wondering if the line was really addressed to the doc or if you just switched it up suddenly

the innocence/guilty line was dope and i liked the 'life is over' line as well - pz

[Cody Nash]

"let your thoughts carry the conversation. Pretend I'm her."


^^doctor told him to do it that way



but word, thanks bro-man.

[SMZ]

i'm still confused because it goes back an forth... there are spots in the second stanza where he's still saying 'her' and 'she'... unless ur saying the guy is just slipping in and out of that mode of talking to the doc

lol, sorry, i'll go nitpick somewhere else :P

[dreaming_awake]

Man, this is nuts guys. Definitely a bad ass collab. I dig the concept of talking to a psychiatrist, and the whole unveiling of the problem was done very well. Then of course the last section where the problem is elaborated was amazing all the same.



I cant accept this abuse, wait... she's so sexy I need ta focus clearer
but while shes tryin on clothes
im watchin the girl behind her pose in tha mirror
sometimes I just need to be near her, but do I really love?
I mean she gave me her innocence.. so I'm the only thing shes guilty of

That's my favorite part from the first one. The innocence line is pretty cool, and I think the line about the mirror helps show further insight into the story.



- no wait.. please, help me!
before my mistake; or seed, comes and sails free..
binding hatred together with some saline just to nail feet
- and hands down to a cross, one created in love by vow of a God,
one I'm not sure I believe in, so for now I'm just... "Lost"

I thought that marriage line was cool as shit man. Really I liked just about everything in that second verse but this is my favorite little part of it.

[ClassX]

Gows first cuz u sent me this over aim.. very nice read. flow was smooth content was solid good use of multis. i cant make a complaint you did your thing.

her holds escapeless, neithers interested in truth
conversations turn to screams, screams turn to domestic disputes

I need my mind sober, tired of feeling a lovers sorrow
maybe if I just go to sleep. I'll wake up n love her tomorow


these 2 bars were dope. the second one im sure alot of people can relate to.


second verse was cry's im pretty sure. and it was good all the way through. flow multis lyrical content was solid. you aced this pretty nice.



but day-dream's done; return to sparks we.. can't be talkin' this,
we can't be honest, it's just another fight, we're happy opposites!


lost to love, but not lost to lust, I guess that makes me a sinner...
is it wrong that I think more about what she makes me for dinner?

have to try and brave through, relate to love and make due,
even if that means caring for a baby that grows up to hate you...

felt these bars the most. that last bar i posted was deep as fuck. i felt these alot.


Overall a real tight collab. yall fuckers shoulda hit me up id of done somethin like this with you. you both shined in this cant wait to see more ish like this from both of you.



Cry i was wondering if youd RTF on my latest piece. heres the link bro.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...265/index.html

[Godwasheeeeeeeeeeeeere]

uppppppp

[Verbal Hologram]

Very nice collab here guys. I think it was a good piece and I liked the style and choice of topic. When reading it I thought some lines stuck out more than others. These were my favorites from each...

Man my shoulders weighted, my heart mus' be cold or tainted
I know she loves me, but I just wanna roll or escape it

her holds escapeless, neithers interested in truth
conversations turn to screams, screams turn to domestic disputes

sometimes I just need to be near her, but do I really love?
I mean she gave me her innocence.. so I'm the only thing shes guilty of

maybe i dont trust n, that'll be my best excuse
but I love how it feels, when I chill, n jus lay down next ta you

and

A burden's on me, but God damn this heart that returns to armies,
'cause sometimes.. it's just so much I'd prefer departing?

before my mistake; or seed, comes and sails free..
binding hatred together with some saline just to nail feet

lost to love, but not lost to lust, I guess that makes me a sinner...
is it wrong that I think more about what she makes me for dinner?

have to try and brave through, relate to love and make due,
even if that means caring for a baby that grows up to hate you...



Overall a solid drop guys. It flowed really nicely together and I liked the emotion in this piece. There were some pretty good bars by both parties scattered throughout which made it a good read. Stay up....

peace

[SHOK-VAL-U]

Gows best part:

Man my shoulders weighted, my heart mus' be cold or tainted
I know she loves me, but I just wanna roll or escape it
her holds escapeless, neithers interested in truth
conversations turn to screams, screams turn to domestic disputes
I cant accept this abuse, wait... she's so sexy I need ta focus clearer
but while shes tryin on clothes
im watchin the girl behind her pose in tha mirror
sometimes I just need to be near her, but do I really love?
I mean she gave me her innocence.. so I'm the only thing shes guilty of
I feel filthy...fuck, there cant just be nothin
I gave her an engagement ring, that has to mean somethin

cry best part:

love's slowin' up.. it almost feels brain-dead...
I'm attracted to any dame except the one that I came with,
I want to fuck someone famous, I want to take this...
to the next level? riiight, marry the girl I had to already break in,
niiice... Man, I HATE THIS, I just can't decide..
especially when she's so good to me that I have to lie...
have to try and brave through, relate to love and make due,
even if that means caring for a baby that grows up to hate you...
Absolution.. it's brain-food, it makes you just who you are,
and on a downhill slope, is where my love for you starts.


Conclusion:-

simple enough,dope pieces by both...gow started off better than he ended,and cry vice versa,and even though its always better to end a verse well rarther than start it that way,i still felt gows a little bit more,but in saying that ive seen cry write better shit but thats saying quite alot... i havent read any of gows shit recently cuz he doesnt drop much,but you both wrote good shit...props.

[KnowP]

WHat was yall niggas watchin to come up with this? LOL! I feel like i was readin the script from "Passions" or something. Yall got very deep into detail. I felt like i knew who yall was talkin about. I loved how yall created this gorgeous woman but felt ashamed for being with her cause you was unsure of love. Funny cause im sure that was me once upon a time. I loved this collab/ drama yall created. Both of yall can lick a tip for not puttin me on tho.. LOL!

And whats dope is that I can tell yalls verses apart cause GOW's flow is very similar
to mine.. LOL!

Great drop fellas!

*Part 2: the confrontation... coming to a thread near you!*

[Calli]

liked the idea here.........i think GOW had the better all around verse. but as far as the topic and collab go i think yall meshed well......

GOW, i think you really hit the topic hard bruh, you did start off stronger then you finished, but i like some of the concepts and you had a great flow here, there was nothing that was just like WOW, but it was Very consistant man, an easy read.

I need my mind sober, tired of feeling a lovers sorrow
maybe if I just go to sleep. I'll wake up n love her tomorow

simple, but i liked these lines the best, all of where well writen tho bruh

Cry, you had nice verse as well, i think you flow was a lil up and down at times but still help the topic, and picked up well where GOW left off......

lost to love, but not lost to lust, I guess that makes me a sinner...
is it wrong that I think more about what she makes me for dinner?

hahaha^^^ that was well put man

love's slowin' up.. it almost feels brain-dead...
I'm attracted to any dame except the one that I came with

another one, like how this came out.......

those are lines that really stood out in your verse for me....both were well worth the read.

great collab yall, was impressed GOW, nice to see you doing something other than Battle.......Cry, same for you. came out nice.

[Essen]

I hate to sound repetitive, but this was very well put together. The first thing that stood out to me were the psychiatrist's remarks. I really enjoyed the conversations he had with the patient, especially how the last two lines of the first verse fit perfectly with what the psychiatrist had to say next. It's like "how the fuck should I know?", going to "well lets start be pretending that I'm her", to "man didn't I just tell you". I really liked that little exchange.

I think both verses had good content throughout. GOW. pretty solid. "I'm watching the girl beyond the pose of the mirror" provided real nice imagery with smooth wording. I also liked the "engagement ring has to mean something" just because I feel as though a lot of people can relate to it personally, or with a friend, including myself. Perhaps my favorite line is the "maybe if I just go to sleep, I'll wake up and love her tomorrow". Again, worded well, and I can definately relate to that. A couple little clicheish moments, like "christ I think my life is over, I need my mind sober", but I'm nitpicking. Good work.


Cry: Another real good read from you. Loved how you related to the reader throughout your verse. "Is it wrong that I think more about what she makes me for dinner?" as well as "I can't get a handle on anything but the ones I grope to fuck". This patient seems tired, confused, stressed out.. you provided a well thought out image of what this character is like. The lines I quoted were my favorite; I can relate to both of those things, it hit me a good amount. Your ending was good as well, definately tied together this downward spiral this love was heading for.

Again, good job guys, stay up and hope to read more from you soon

[Soule]

Creative piece with a fresh style. I liked it a lot. God, you did a surprisingly dope job. I forgot how good of a topical writer you really are man. Wording was cool. Flowed smoothly. And you had some really nice imagery. Aaron, dope verse as well. The wording was great, and that rhymescheme is monsterous. Loved the 'mistake' and 'God' lines the most. Keep writing guys, nom'd.

[Johnny 6-feet]

An original idea for the topic of the piece. You laced this with a solid rhyme scheme and conveyed your narrators feelings pretty clearly. I would've like to have seen some kind of dr jekyll/mr hyde flip between verses, i reckon that would've made it more interesting to read, it held my attention though. Vocab seemed a little weak but the imagery made up for it. Solid work bud, topical heads run this forum!

Keep posting.