Punchline

[SMZ]

how many lines i tried?
half of them were lies
with secrets of weakness they were designed to hide
nother 35% - trash i treated like treasure
and the next 1 outta 10?
shoulda been better
overrated decent bits til i was only humble as God
but the rhymes were only sick
at hundred-to-one odds!
but i'm back at it - pen an' pad addict
monkE on my back
'though brothers A thru D can grasp who's abbot
ransackin my attic got me in a mean mode, but i ain't average
no azimuth - flow with the waves an' spray acid
flames - jackasses get changed to gray ashes
names - are the only things left
to historys test - death - i am next
the fifth horseman, hopin they ain't plan a trap
cause iunno what'll do if Hades ever glance back
so follow my signals
ain't the Alpha or Omega, but you can call me the Middle
trapped in the present
blessed with a gift for rap at its essence
my passionate prescence seems to clash with the heavens
severance - pay strict at-ten-tion
all these rules i never meant to bend
but the simplest sins are showin the hint of trends
an' iunno if God forgot about me
but i ain't forget about him!
still remember things my parents taught
still ain't learned to be scared of the dark
still outside the door - starin at the Ark
sayin fuck it
i can swim for fourty days
an' when i'm sore an' dazed
i'll let the water fill my chest an' sink towards my grave
hopin i'm remembered as more than brave
a savior
English language part-time slaver
guardin 'gainst traitors tryna cultivate a large enough laser
to remove the ink on my parchment papers
but even if they did, i'd just write it in blood
tourniquet on my heart
i refuse to tighten it up - ain't here to clean up the mess
i'll rap for seven days straight cause iunno the meanin of rest!
yeah, a meaningless fear of villagers
clearin all cylinders - ignorant pyramid pillagers
but the library in my skull will preserve the past
long after earth is trashed
an' dinosaurs come 'cross bones 'neath the dirty slabs
wonderin if we heard of math
so laugh... so laugh

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...404/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...464/index.html

[SMZ]

hmm... i see

[Iglosone]

okay.. I was expecting punches in this.. but there wasn't alot.. you went with some visuals and came more on a flex type of piece.. most of the multis were good.. some cool rhyme schemes.. your vocab was not bad either.. it give this around a 7..

[CiBiTrIx]

well lets see....rhyme scheme was decent but forced indeed...multi's were decent could use alittle work..vocab could of used an edge but no big deal...this was a decent peice...i enjoyed reading it by far..your flow caught me off gaurd at some times but i'd have to hear a beat you may have been useing maybe to catch it all...good work..

[SMZ]

@ Iglosone: that's because it's a punchline as in a joke... it really is

@ CiBiTrIx: could you help point out to me where the rhymes felt forced?

[Godwasheeeeeeeeeeeeere]

lol i was expecting to see mad punches to

but the flow was dope the ryhme was ill


all these rules i never meant to bend
but the simplest sins are showin the hint of trends
an' iunno if God forgot about me
but i ain't forget about him!

that hit me raw



still ain't learned to be scared of the dark
still outside the door - starin at the Ark
sayin fuck it
i can swim for fourty days
an' when i'm sore an' dazed
i'll let the water fill my chest an' sink towards my grave


that was fuckin dope to

im quoting as i read

a savior
English language part-time slaver
guardin 'gainst traitors tryna cultivate a large enough laser
to remove the ink on my parchment papers
but even if they did, i'd just write it in blood
tourniquet on my heart
i refuse to tighten it up - ain't here to clean up the mess
i'll rap for seven days straight cause iunno the meanin of rest!
yeah, a meaningless fear of villagers
clearin all cylinders - ignorant pyramid pillagers
but the library in my skull will preserve the past


that was viscious

sibit has no idea what he is talkin about, nothing was forced this was a absolute sick fucking read , i mad enjoyed it

ur scheme was dope, ur ryhme was viscious, the content was ridiculously nice

props on this

ima nom it cuz its dope to me

[Cody Nash]

an' iunno if God forgot about me
but i ain't forget about him!
still remember things my parents taught
still ain't learned to be scared of the dark
still outside the door - starin at the Ark
sayin fuck it
i can swim for fourty days
an' when i'm sore an' dazed
i'll let the water fill my chest an' sink towards my grave


^^that part was pretty sick dude.. this whole piece had a pretty "gangster" quality to it. it got down to the very essence of things and had that "nothing really matters" type theme... good message, title fit nicely. creative. the flow was nice, I could definitely see this gettin spit on a beat.. it's smoothe and has the right vibe for it..

overall, good piece man. you haven't really lost your touch since you left bruh.. pz.