The Dark Half (ft. Cry & Kid's Dynamic)

**Tactixx** · September 26th, 2009, 09:24 AM

The Dark Half
Tactixx:First verse
Cry:second verse
Kid's Dynamic:third verse

Sick and twisted, a mans mind haunted by images horrific
This story takes place in a small town near the pacific
Contents explicit and vivid in a time better forgotten
Now a new burial ground where corpses decay and rot in
Sam caught on quickly, after a few women went missing
Two soggy bodies found by an old father and son fishing
The townsfolk enraged and wishing for some sign of hope
With a frog in his throat Sam stepped forward and spoke
The citizens took him for a joke, and paid him no heed
A warning they would all need to unmask this demon seed
He'd beg and plead for them to see but they all refused
Said his visions were old news, failing to see the clues
Seen as never paying his dues, with a childhood mispent
But it seems as of lately... Sam's been feeling different....

yet, he really isn't.. he falls asleep again and then dreams of death,
of a woman folding to an axe that happens to crease the head,
and right as she releases breath, he wakes to heat and sweat,
so he heads downtown to speak to them.. these weak people,
who ignore him while he cries wolf about how he see's evil..
'cause he'll never be equal.. but when he gets there...
everyone's freaking, paramedics, policemen; he gets scared..
a rabbit betwixt the bears, so hungry to rip him to shreds,
to dismiss and pretend, gnashing teeth while wishing him dead,
so a simple spin and he's fled.. back to his home,
with a splitting headache that's like an axe to the dome,
and his visions, the other half of him knows, it has to be bullshit,
the cops'll be here any second and the ache he has is repulsive,
then it pulls in.. memories jog into place, his eyes spot his mistake,
and if sleepwalking's the culprit, his mind's lost in the wake..
thinking: no way, double take.. return that hand, try again,
but it's NOT the boogeymans blood all over that axe by his bed

So who's kid is dead and how did this get here?
To make it clear, there's innocence in the mirror.
Somehow my tooth's missing and my jaw's limp,
I'm clinching onto this shirt that has paw prints.
My chest's bruised, and I'm so fuckin' confused,
did I break through and jump into the news?
Am I on channel two, next to Jack the Ripper,
because if I'm not, fuck it... someone's dinner.
Give me a princess so I can skin her- it's time,
for every damn headline to remember Mr. Hide!

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...398/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...005/index.html

Soule · September 26th, 2009, 01:10 PM

Dopey, ups.

Soule · September 26th, 2009, 08:10 PM

Again, bump.

**Ink Poyzin** · September 26th, 2009, 09:03 PM

tactixx, dope verse, started off talking about where this took place and how a few women went missing, and the ones found by a father and son while spending the day together fishing at the lake. sam stepped up and spoke, but nobody was believing him. so, he kept trying, but still everybody refused to hear him out. it flowed nicely, with multies setup good, just giving this first part an easy read. perfect wording, just put me right there, so very good job..

cry, also dope verse, i liked this verse and how you really got into it, and told about the dreams he's been having. he wakes up and goes downtown to speak again to these people, who just ignored him before.. a good job describing the scene when he gets there, people just freaking out, so he decides to turn back around, scared. he goes home, and starts thinking about everything, and how the axe had blood on it, had to be his. and yours too, just put me right there in the story..

kid's dynamic, short verse, but it was real nice also, so dude is there still thinking.. just wondering how the kid is dead there, missing a tooth and his jaw all sore. gripping a shirt all covered with blood, bruised up and he's confused about it. man, great imagery, and ended this good, telling how he realizes he had done all this, just incredible, good job aswell.

overall, i really like this you guys, and how it was all based on a sleepwalker, and the imagery was dope.. the read was wonderful, and each part connected good, kept me hooked right in. nice topic choice, too, and it fits this piece perfect, so great job to all you, once again!

**AlphaMetric** · September 26th, 2009, 10:04 PM

Originally Posted by Tactixx

The Dark Half
Tactixx:First verse
Cry:second verse
Kid's Dynamic:third verse

Sick and twisted, a mans mind haunted by images horrific
This story takes place in a small town near the pacific
Contents explicit and vivid in a time better forgotten
Now a new burial ground where corpses decay and rot in
Sam caught on quickly, after a few women went missing
Two soggy bodies found by an old father and son fishing
The townsfolk enraged and wishing for some sign of hope
With a frog in his throat Sam stepped forward and spoke
The citizens took him for a joke, and paid him no heed
A warning they would all need to unmask this demon seed
He'd beg and plead for them to see but they all refused
Said his visions were old news, failing to see the clues
Seen as never paying his dues, with a childhood mispent
But it seems as of lately... Sam's been feeling different....

I like this.... i like how it starts, and I like dark stories and had a good start to it.... and the flow was good... keep on

yet, he really isn't.. he falls asleep again and then dreams of death,
of a woman folding to an axe that happens to crease the head,
and right as she releases breath, he wakes to heat and sweat,
so he heads downtown to speak to them.. these weak people,
who ignore him while he cries wolf about how he see's evil..
'cause he'll never be equal.. but when he gets there...
everyone's freaking, paramedics, policemen; he gets scared..
a rabbit betwixt the bears, so hungry to rip him to shreds,
to dismiss and pretend, gnashing teeth while wishing him dead,
so a simple spin and he's fled.. back to his home,
with a splitting headache that's like an axe to the dome,
and his visions, the other half of him knows, it has to be bullshit,
the cops'll be here any second and the ache he has is repulsive,
then it pulls in.. memories jog into place, his eyes spot his mistake,
and if sleepwalking's the culprit, his mind's lost in the wake..
thinking: no way, double take.. return that hand, try again,
but it's NOT the boogeymans blood all over that axe by his bed

nice secound verse... i lil longer, i like where it's going...... flow is good,....
vocab in it is nice too....

So who's kid is dead and how did this get here?
To make it clear, there's innocence in the mirror.
Somehow my tooth's missing and my jaw's limp,
I'm clinching onto this shirt that has paw prints.
My chest's bruised, and I'm so fuckin' confused,
did I break through and jump into the news?
Am I on channel two, next to Jack the Ripper,
because if I'm not, fuck it... someone's dinner.
Give me a princess so I can skin her- it's time,
for every damn headline to remember Mr. Hide!

this was nice.... the shortest and best verse.... I found this one out-shined the other two verse.... i like the vocab..... and flow was good here

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...398/index.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...005/index.html

in all in all.... this was a good read... nice collab...... peace

Soule · September 26th, 2009, 10:32 PM

Thanks guys.

**AlphaMetric** · September 26th, 2009, 11:17 PM

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...502/index.html

I got this for now..... it's short so should be fast....

**Tactixx** · September 27th, 2009, 04:25 AM

up...
thnabx everyone...the feed will be returned

**R-tistic** · September 27th, 2009, 03:51 PM

not a bad rap at all i like the set up and the lyrics
id love to hear the song recorded
ive personally taken a few shots at ritin stories and it hard man
nice rap sone keep it up

**Endeva.** · September 28th, 2009, 11:48 AM

just spotted this, interesting read, i have to say i enjoyed it...

for me tactixx verse stood out from the others, a good solid start, got the mystery going drawing the reader in. cry your verse also enjoyable, not quite as smooth as tactixx, but hey im being really picky, lol... it progressed and fit nice from the first as did the final verse, tied it all up unveiling the events, maybe the weakest out of the 3 in my view... but..

...all in all though good job guys