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Thread: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

  1. #1
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    Hip-Hop's Diary
    By: The Halfway House


    Entry 1: Cry
    Entry 2: SyaNidal
    Entry 3: Illus'Artis



    Entry 1: under a lamp, he writes this in a notebook..
    he flows a story of how life was, with the right rhyme and no hook


    She scolds - it's bedtime, he's so alone and can't cry,
    while his nose is cold inside a blanket that's old and half dry,
    his door's closed by that time, so finally the chill goes,
    and he's reaching blindly for what lies beneath the pillow,
    'cause his walkmen is truth, one CD made by the roots,
    music that changed and helped him stay by the booth,
    but he remains like the youth, with no money to spit,
    not giving a shit.. about what he could get once he gets in
    on that stage with something to give, he'll lift all spirits,
    he could fix the new age if these kids all hear it!
    when ears shift.. from that Lollipop and drunk music,
    not interested in makin' hits for an audience who fucks to it,
    this grunge putrid, bullshit music you hear on the radio,
    maybe, though.. when he raps he'll make the lady's "oh!"
    but in a way that's so.. uplifting to soul,
    to feel the lyrics fill where there's a nick or a hole,
    no, not a dick in her hole! but that hole in her heart..
    lyrics taking single women for a stroll in the park,
    the only mold is the art, there's no decay on the date,
    being able to look ahead, to know that day's on the way,
    no stains on his name.. living a stone honest life,
    but for now.. influence remains the headphones on his mind.

    Entry 2: under a lamp atop his desk, he's writing to his best,
    about what music is today and how they're dying to impress..


    They say I'm abusive, with passion for tough love in my music
    That's ruthless - in fact stupid, 'cause commercial raps useless
    The same dudes claimin' they can't be seen; I'm callin' the cats lucid
    They lack fluid with rap Blueprints, like Autotune, and stack two bricks
    -of that new shit. We go HARD and we always flip and push
    That sticky kush and producers are the reason they track TWO hits.
    Fuck that, I'll wrap huge fists around necks when wack dudes spit
    Who can't value my sack of metaphors, but get attached to it
    So when I drop it's do or die, there's no slackin' with true wits
    We realize that hip-hop's suicide hangs by plaques or nooses
    See I'm wrapped in music; I can't ball with lames in the game
    Descending a mall - of flames when it rains.
    Send a train through the veins; they need a lesson in makin' it rhyme
    We don't use pen and pad, so we never takin' the time,
    and- wavin' the nine? that never earned my respect.
    Learned wise and left, then had them slavin' for lines;
    Taken to the grave where I lie is the bravest of mine,
    Raked in a pile to shake you in vile; quakin' ya spine.
    And increasin', at a rate above crime you know is the fakest of guys.
    See it's easy to be wack and claim greatness in time
    especially when cats like Lil Wayne still alive

    Entry 3: under a lamp upon the stage, the beat plays just right..
    and he freestyles to a crowd about how this game WAS nice.


    Taken it way back when, when heads did moves that kill
    On pavements that fractures your grill sick breakers in windmills
    While blasting beats that ill the feet and moon walk the streets
    Block parties in heat while blasting Kool Moe Dee
    Dope times with dope signs kicked with Air Force on the porch
    Of course it ain’t hard to tell Nas left emcees torch
    I shout New York The best era rep the best ever
    Big Punisher so clever so big no matter the weather
    He’s hot whatever industry Big, Br Br Br brings the Terror
    Because I’m feeling the Squad rocking IZOD flowing hard
    Ill like Nasty Nas Escobar is the sickest Grandmaster Flash
    Is the quickest R.I.P the fallen my mind has flash backs I trash
    Tracks that are wiggdy whack only if it entices me to jump
    And possesses moves of a shaolin monk
    Loving the old school crews like the Wu
    Ill ghetto gutter who cream knowledge in truth
    All back in my youth no other genre came close
    No other era will ever approach or touch these sick Roots.
    Rip the fallen Big Pun, Big L, Biggie, Tupac and Proof


    Now..

    Entry 4: under a lamp or to an audience, before you're old and dead
    you've got to save game, 'cause it's your turn to hold the pen..



    ...Start writing

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  3. #3
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    Re: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    damn... this is one of the better pieces I think I have read since I started doing this whole text thing..cry's verse was perfect in every sense of the word...flow,imagery,emotion,vocab,metas,inners,mul tis..twas fucken redic how polished that was..Sy held it down aswel with the grimey aspect of it..as well dropping a very consistent verse..I really liked his out look & the ending of his last stanza fucking killled it.. that last line was soo true..Illus.. your references were fucking sick man.. the flow wasn't as polished as cry's & syanidals imo... but still really felt where you were coming from.. overall this was a verry entertaining read and one of the best collab's i've seen in a while.props...

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    Re: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    cry: the verse was sick, made perfect sence, great metaphores and multies. Your a great emciee and that verse just proved it

    SyaNidal:Kept it runnin, saw the rhyme scheme and kept it goin. love the part where you said
    So when I drop it's do or die, there's no slackin' with true wits
    We realize that hip-hop's suicide hangs by plaques or nooses
    See I'm wrapped in music; I can't ball with lames in the game
    Descending a mall - of flames when it rains.

    That was a great piece.
    Illus'Artis: The flow went off track a little, but you brought it back in the middle with the line:
    Ill like Nasty Nas Escobar is the sickest Grandmaster Flash
    Is the quickest R.I.P the fallen my mind has flash backs I trash

    Great collab, yall are sick with it, keep spittin fire 10/10

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    Re: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    I felt like this was a well put together piece all three had good verses...each had good wording,good structure and a good flow to top it off...Cry you had a good verse you really got talent i see your text battles and i see you still got skills then i read this and see you can do more than just text...now i see what you meant when you left me feed on my OM and said that i should take more time fixing grammer and shiit...Syn ya verse was well to i remember you from a couple years back ass welll and i can see that your still doing your thing...I like ya style in this verse and the way you worded some lines keep it up....ILL you had a good verse too ya wording was on point and you brong ya own style ass well to this collab....overall keep it up well done collab
    The words I write are oxygen to greatness.

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    Re: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    Cry - First part was pretty sick B and I'm jealous of how polished your wording is, lol... Every line in the verse except one or two was worded perfectly. The imagery was great. The flow was on point, lots of multies and your vocab was used well. What else is there to say? Best verse of the whole piece.

    Syanidal - I was a little confused in the direction you were going for the first couple of bars, I mean you said commerical raps useless and then proceed to spit a few commerical-like bars of your own, lol? I'm assuming it must have been intentional.. Your verse was packed with mutlies though, the flow was fire.. I thought everything was done pretty well except you kind of fell off at the end, felt like you started forcing multies just for the sake of keeping the rhyme scheme. Second best verse, IMO.

    Illusartist - Illus I thought you had a solid verse as well... Didn't have the the crazy multies or rhyme scheme that Cry and Syn brought but you brought your own to the table and I think it worked out aight in the end. Nice touch on the way you ended your verse...


    Btw whoevers idea it was to finish the open mic that way with #4 'start writing'... Dope ish..

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    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    thanks to everyone.. really appreciate it. drop links.

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    Re: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    Entry 1
    so many words can describe this.. But I'll only use one, DOPE... Good shit right here, flow was down pat, structure, some o the best, sticking to the topic.. Best wording I've ever seen.. What I mean is.. How you flow with the words.. U understand what I mean.. Now to entry 2.. Btw good idea on the entries idea..
    Entry 2 
    damn guys, got me sayin the same exact thing every time I write, still the wording and structure was top notch, but the flow started to come off a tad but ame back on track and closed it off great.

    2 words.. OM HoF


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    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    appreciated.

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    Re: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    the way that this pieces flowed together was perfect. completely excellent. first verse was one of the sickest i read anywhere. metaphors were on point. 2nd verse had a really nice array of multies. 3rd verse flowed a lil funny but it was still sick. overall this was one of the nicest pieces i have seen in a while. the idea between each verse to add an insert was excellent. the last insert was sick.

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    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    thanks again, leave links everyone

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    Re: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    This was a pretty good piece, I think Cry's should've been last cause that's pretty hard to follow right there, Syn did a solid verse too but like Camo said it fell off at the end, I fealt like he was just feeling it with rhymes and not really worrying about the words and their meaning and how they stayed relevant to the piece...Ill was good too, but I don't think his verse was great....all stayed on topic with one another ok but in a different kinda way, I like how ya'll did that....overall solid drop...
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    Re: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    overall thought it was pretty good, an entertaining read... my fav was cry's verse, just thought his flow was the smoothest

    nice drop
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    Re: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    well first of all..ILL..i mean it is Cry..it dont get rtoo much iller,crys verse flawless,beautiful imagery,wordplay and complexity were one in the same but with out bein to complex,which is ill,i always find myself sayin the same thing about your verse even though its been a while since ive been on,very ill in all aspects....Syn..illness of course,imagery,wordplay,multis,just the smooth flow in general,all relevant and the whole verse was ill,usualy is,i thought both you and cry didnt come as complex as possible and thats ill cause this piece didnt call for all that,very ill..illus...i liked your piece of course but it did seem out of place with the other two verses,not to say your verse wasnt good but it just seemed out of place..to me..you fell off here and there,your flow wasnt constant and you seemed t have alot of fillers,but it was still a good verse no hate just my opinion..all ina ll a very ill piece.keep droppin the hottness.~1~


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  15. #15
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    Re: Hip-Hop's Diary - Illus, Cry, & SyaNidal

    thanks guys. and in everyone's defence, the verses were all sort've meant to be different in style because each person in the "diary" was a completely different person. it probably would've been dull to think that 3 different people would write with the same exact rhyme scheme and style.

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