It's in the Blood...

[Cody Nash]

It's in the Blood...
[By: Cry/Nash]



It's in the Blood...money over love

the son of a killer, an ill product of lust ..
it runs within a trust, a will and testament
a kin that must kill an elder resident
to receive a nickel ..health or cent!
a father's floored decent, is a poor precedent
a spawn's score is evident..
money, a new car -
the soul resident of a huge 50 bedroom jar
..only the jelly runs red where the tombs are
everyone knew the mother's womb was dark
born in a whore, he was doomed from start
and his flame'll spark when the moon's not far.


It's in the Blood...birth of a lust

deformities are marked.. made by rape
a little girl's belly proves it - by the way it gapes.
weighed and traced by a man of crazed waste
searching for more than bedroom dates and grapes.
she prays he makes his ways stop
but he'd rather see her name rot.
the same strain is caught, by a boy it's blamed on.
and so daddy's little, little girl
is born in a shriveled world to the same pop!
and as the mother - [HIS DAUGHTER!]
this is not her ideal way of life
but he'd rather have his baby, than his way with his wife.


It's in the Blood...their death is a must

tragedy befalls four generations ..more face it
a travesty volleyed and poured across the nation
loving mothers are lost cancer patients.
ask families if it hurts -
and they won’t answer, "painless."
doctors say it ..but they render brainless
lies tend to our faces, relieving the tears ..
died in four months ..doctors said three years!


It's all in the Blood...everything's us

money is power to the family who always had it
a son who killed his father for that meat -
mauling a maverick.
and not exalting madness, but an appalling sadness
has ultimately ravished a young girl that’s weak
she could hardly grasp speech..
her father’s a deadbeat, and should be dead or beat!
a grandmother’s head meets with a pillow
and is diagnosed with something still known
to have no cure ..nothing pure to help the weak
our tears are compelled to speak…
grandma’s propelled diseased, maybe daddy’s lust
..or a murderer falsely in love.
it’s all started someplace …It’s all in the Blood.



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...th-344536.html
Jus Write
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ce-344320.html
Domain 9
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...er-344312.html
Feeble Minded

[Spekz.]

As for the story you laid out oh so very nicely for us - To me at first i found it hard to make the connection, because i was being ignorant to the topic. Then once i hit the endl, i realized you were not talkin of one situation you were talking of many, and then it all made much more sense lol. I liked the way you portray this family, through "blood" which is true obviously, but then you made it destined to make the family like animals, born out of pure hatred. A family bound to fail in its own disgusting misery.

Writing aspects - To not consider these would be terrible, because most ppl always do first of all, but ima spice it up lol....Alright your rhymescheme,wording,vocab, internal rhyming multies where breathetaking..this piece flowed from word to word to line to line to stanza to stanza very well, even with the slight change of topic your short subtitle type things, kept you wondering but also kept you informed. The emotion and imagery were also drop dead gorgeous, in which your emotion might have just plain out owned this piece, but what got me was a few glimpses of beautiful and well placed metaphores. Along with your imagery they were so nice.

OVERALL: This piece was a great read, and is amongst the better i have read as of lately. Nice job cry.

FAVORITE METAPHORE/LINE:
the soul resident of a huge 50 bedroom jar
..only the jelly runs red where the tombs are

[Domain 9]

What can I say... This was a very very well written piece. From reading the topic in the forum I was expecting a lot different storyline. You approached the topic from a very unique angle and it worked out beautifully.

I like how you kind of give a title to each section of this piece. It portrays each phase of the life of these individuals and also kinda gives a bookmark for the reader...

deformities are marked.. made by rape
a little girl's belly proves it - by the way it gapes.
weighed and traced by a man of crazed waste
searching for more than bedroom dates and grapes.

^That was a very well written... Has great imagery of the emotion that's involved in this...

Nice job Cry

2 Up!

If You Would...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ce-344320.html

[LedgenZ]

Yeah, this was dope man, no question about that. I see you brought the big guns to play Russian Roulette and apparently the flow lost cause it was dead on. As far as your content, well, it wasn't dead but it was defiantly lively and I say that with the grimes of tones in respects to the concept - Defiantly intriguing . I haven't seen you around much in the open mic, not like I use to, but over these last couple of weeks it seems like you came back to prove something. Whatever you mission is I hope its not completed anytime soon, cause I'm enjoying the journey and the gems your dropping along the way. Anyway...

Favorite lines:

a father's floored decent, is a poor precedent
a spawn's score is evident..
money, a new car -
the soul resident of a huge 50 bedroom jar
..only the jelly runs red where the tombs are
everyone knew the mother's womb was dark
born in a whore, he was doomed from start
and his flame'll spark when the moon's not far.

^For all its metaphorical attributes I would have to conclude that was freakin' dope. Good job!


Also:

she prays he makes his ways stop
but he'd rather see her name rot.
the same strain is caught, by a boy it's blamed on.
and so daddy's little, little girl
is born in a shriveled world to the same pop!
and as the mother - [HIS DAUGHTER!]
this is not her ideal way of life
but he'd rather have his baby, than his way with his wife.

^Without being overly descriptive you managed to create a great deal of imagery, that's not an easy thing to do.
In addition to that you managed to maintain a solid flow without sacrificing your content..even harder. So in the end all I can say is DOPE WORK!



Finally:

tragedy befalls four generations ..more face it
a travesty volleyed and poured across the nation
loving mothers are lost cancer patients.
ask families if it hurts -
and they won’t answer, "painless."
doctors say it ..but they render brainless
lies tend to our faces, relieving the tears ..
died in four months ..doctors said three years!


It's all in the Blood...everything's us

money is power to the family who always had it
a son who killed his father for that meat -
mauling a maverick.
and not exalting madness, but an appalling sadness
has ultimately ravished a young girl that’s weak
she could hardly grasp speech..
her father’s a deadbeat, and should be dead or beat!

^That's what I'm talking about man - GREAT flow, GREAT wordplay, and just such GREAT insight into the topic itself.


All in all this was a dope piece. Keep 'em coming Cry.



pZ

[Cody Nash]

wow, i've never got such positive feedback on a piece. not even my HoF one lol, thanks guys appreciate it. links soon..

[Messiah Kaeto]

Easy man, ..

OK, Where do I start...

i REALLY ENJOYED IT! I thought you captured the very essence which you set out to, and delivered a piece of creative wickedness!!

I really liked this extract man:

a father's floored decent, is a poor precedent
a spawn's score is evident..
money, a new car -
the soul resident of a huge 50 bedroom jar
..only the jelly runs red where the tombs are

That for me was absolutely blindin, a real good meta' in that!!

Movin on, ..This next bit, really really hit home with me, and made me really envisage what you were writing:

tragedy befalls four generations ..more face it
a travesty volleyed and poured across the nation
loving mothers are lost cancer patients.
ask families if it hurts -
and they won’t answer, "painless."

Fuckin excellent way of writing that message!!!!

In the finale, I sense a great deal of emotion, anxiety & portraits being painted, ..

a grandmother’s head meets with a pillow
and is diagnosed with something still known
to have no cure ..nothing pure to help the weak
our tears are compelled to speak…
grandma’s propelled diseased, maybe daddy’s lust
..or a murderer falsely in love.
it’s all started someplace …It’s all in the Blood.

That, my friend, was a fantastic closing to a very well written piece - I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, and will be checking for more of yoiur pieces in the future!!!

Keep up the good work man,

Peace & God Bless.
Messiah Kaeto.


RTF please on Mine & N-Demik's latest collab "Sand Castle"
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...-n-344333.html

[Messiah Kaeto]

...

[Messiah Kaeto]

fuckin crashing RB

[Messiah Kaeto]

ok, so now it shows

[Cody Nash]

thanks ..i'll hit your link later on this weekend.

[Ace of Aces]

I definitely felt the overall theme of "Its in the blood." The recurring line after each sequence did add to the emotion of this piece. I haven't read something from you in awhile Cry, if im not mistaken, you're new to topicals. Im not sure how new but I could see a piece like this comin' from someone whos done topicals for awhile. The insight was powerful and the fact that you slaughtered this metaphor endlessly just allowed the emotion to almost literally bleed out. Powerful imagery in every stanza. Using a single family to explain what I took as your typical family these days helped me relate to the topic even more which isn't much of a good thing for me. lol. But im sure we can all see a bit of our own families in some of this piece. good stuff here man, I hope you keep it up like this, you'll just get better I'm sure.

peACE

[Cody Nash]

lol, thanks. and i'm not really new here ..since i've been here i've written 77 pieces not including my topical/poetry battles which i've had like over 20 of.. and i do have one HoF piece :\ so ..not that new to it. just not that active with it. but yeah, thanks for the feed, thinking about getting active in here more.. not too sure yet though.

[Nique.]

yea, pretty much what everyone else said.. i've read your pieces before and what i can say is that this is definitely one of your more better pieces.. the insight and storyline was very powerful and enlightening.. and progression and imagery wasn't sacrificed at all throughout the piece.. the style of writing from you is definitely new.. almost as if you never wrote it lol.. i liked it though.. it comes off more polished and well-written.. the flow was perfect because it wasn't overbearing nor did it take away from your story. i was feeling this. sorry for getting back so late, but i'm busy. keep writing.

[Cody Nash]

thank you ma'am.. yeah i took a lot more time writing this one than i normally do.

[Untitled Ent.]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...rt-345371.html

the son of a killer, an ill product of lust ..

from that line down was pure fuckin amazing. The emotion was deep and dark. You placed these mature and flawless words in their places perfectly. The imagenary was just creative. It was like you witnessed or lived the piece as you were typing it. Rhyme scheme was flawless. The storylines were fantastic. The read was perfect, best piece from you yet. nominated.