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Thread: The strangler

  1. #1
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
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    The strangler


    ayo..

    I been raised a fiend, apraised, redeemed.. waking up from a crazy dream
    courtdates from poor fates, made to seem like I took part of her hazy schemes
    so let me begin from the end, before claims of sin on my head
    never facing the explaination, can't blame this shit on the dead..
    The first target, I got it, pause in the middle.. this girl was killer.
    Her neck gloss with the pistol, the gliss'll tell it's sterling silver.
    my down ass shorty, if any ya'll clown ass endure me, she had fools whipped
    and clueless, only a 5'2 brunnette, aint afraid to shoot shit.
    her pass was pasionate, good luck in the path through lazerus,
    took the money, gripped the chain and my open palm grabbed her lips..
    I had to retract my witts, we were robbing for few were hard to slay.
    she was an euntrapenuer, a fucking prodigue, I never forgot her name..
    but I had too, other girls were shot insane, innocence lost in shame
    the're voice dug into me, & they was into me, when i stopped her veins..
    So was this a blessin? possession, silver anger from the verge I hit..
    urges rip.. Burdens lift, progressin because I didnt even purchase it.



    I met my pearl, soon after I was swirving from menace shit.
    past girls? not worthy to mention it, Silver earnings were generous.
    benefits, she set expectations, I tried to see higher, practically...
    and our fire lasts when we... tried to make HER desires reality
    I reply massively, to switch our life style-living older than our lives now
    and enjoy it a bit, but not to swipe thous until my pockets are white clouds
    its lights out... she hisses while I hit the funny bitch and rape her
    for nothing but a few kisses, money clips and paper
    she may never know why the man behind the mask molds stern
    Everything I could perhaps hold, heard... ear drums collapsed to bold words
    broke down to a wrath of cold, disturbed.. where this is no path to forward
    bitch, you'll never enjoy your future, or boys that could've
    she tried to steal, so I gripped harder than the oysters wouldve
    pearls we're her world, i thought as i choke off forms of her complexion
    only thing thats absorbing my aggression, is the orbs of my reflection



    diamonds are forever, blindly shining for the better..
    but she knows im grimy, untimely, striving to be clever..
    Immensely, there's strife to give. Deeper than my lightest grin,
    under the might I hid, intensely, beneath the tightest skin..
    confused, waiting for the lies to lift, then hype to flip.
    Burn'd inside, white of wisps, cause I'd sacrifice my life to live.
    Already sent the rudest message, by the dude she slept with,
    taken by a fool, and hitlist.. too late to elude her necklace..
    she took my organs, tore it.. All because the whore was morbid.
    and the toll -her soul.. my eyes lineing been poaring more drips..
    Envision it, thought she'd stay & I'd never catch her thru,
    as my gift to her shifts, & all the karots decay until its residew..
    It was ment for you, while I fight & laugh.. then a stop to the flow...
    ...now birthed a psycopath that might go back to chop what I choked
    should've stabbed me bitch, more pain than happiness, why must the less last?
    & with a thrust-her neck cracked, it felt like my trust was trespassed..
    cuts bust by impact, she didnt make a fuss or hit back,
    the lust of breath, snatched... *gasp*
    Last edited by _Lyrics; June 10th, 2007 at 11:48 PM
    GreaterDesignGrowers.com

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  2. #2
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
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    Last edited by _Lyrics; June 11th, 2007 at 02:37 PM
    GreaterDesignGrowers.com

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  3. #3
    Im Crazy Lo0se CaNNoN's Avatar
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    Re: The strangler

    damn Bob. this shit was dope.. flow and imagery were there, im mad u left me out though, lol. rhyme scheme was better then eva, u must've been high, cuz this is def. the best peice i've eva seen u right. i liked how u had a different image for each stanza, making the imagery even more clear, switching from stainless steal to pearls to diamonds. All around nice peice right here. Overal 8.6/10

  4. #4
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
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    Re: The strangler

    feed plz...
    GreaterDesignGrowers.com

    Im not a rapper, im a gardener

  5. #5
    Innovator.
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    Re: The strangler

    Word...

    This was pretty dope. Your flow was nasty in this with the flawless internals and multis. I can't complain this is my type of piece. The metaphors from females to these necklaces were pretty dope too. The progression was nice. I wasn't really expecting this at all. I expected some cliche story about being a strangler, but you had a clever approach to it and I really enjoyed it. Despite some minor spelling mistakes this was a pretty dope drop all the way around. As the story, progressed it became THAT much more interesting. Like I said, despite some spelling mistakes (i.e residew), I really enjoyed reading this. Good stuff. Keep writing.
    AI. Legendary.
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  6. #6
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
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    Re: The strangler

    thanks.. more feed? leave links.
    GreaterDesignGrowers.com

    Im not a rapper, im a gardener

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Re: The strangler

    This piece was flame. i read it 2 or 3 times already. really creative, this was really deep rooted, story bout the boston strangler.You flowed on point with those stinging multies. this piece really caught my eye, good structure, and you showed some really good emotion...OMHOF material. keep droppin science fams

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...html?p=5742878
    yea.

  8. #8
    Im Crazy Lo0se CaNNoN's Avatar
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    Re: The strangler

    ayo Bob. hit me up, or get on aim

  9. #9
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
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    Re: The strangler

    up3
    GreaterDesignGrowers.com

    Im not a rapper, im a gardener

  10. #10
    Legend.
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    Awards Haiku Champion - Award Request Accepted FL Champion - Award Request Accepted Haiku Season Champion PC HOF FL Tournament Winner 25+ Wins

    Re: The strangler

    Very,very nice here fam. I have to agree with Nique with the progression was good it just built up and built up...Everything was nice. Your emotion was nice and you used the pictures nicelt to fit in with the verse. Your imagry was good and the piece had a great imagination about it. Your vocabulary wasn't to far out there and your usage of words worked really good man. The creativity was good and the detail was thick, the storyline was nice obviously easy to see what you used to write about...Overall very dope piece Bob. Keep dropping the shit.

    -Thomas.
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  11. #11
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    Re: The strangler

    God damn, you worked flawlessly with the meta's. the whole flow of this poem was pretty solid from the beggining to the end. I liked how you incorporated the picture into your piece. your wordplay and meta's was pretty solid in and out, you really used your text skills in this one as it may seem. The quanity of this piece produced the quality i was hoping to retrive from this piece. keep writing fam, i really enjoyed this..*nominates for hof*
    Last edited by Constance; June 17th, 2007 at 03:43 PM

  12. #12
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    Re: The strangler

    woah this was a dope script.

  13. #13
    and fuck you too Meks.'s Avatar
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    Re: The strangler

    sick shit....

    liked the flow, the story was descriptive too... liked the way u told it and shit, shit was dope

  14. #14
    Laughing at you Know-It-All's Avatar
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    Re: The strangler

    This piece was pretty dope man. I really enjoyed your multis and your flow. I loved your story in this piece. The way you took the topic was remarkable. I really loved the flow and the vocab was good. Your imagery was nice and the overall way you presented this piece with the pictures was nice. I also like how descriptive this piece was good job.

    if you get a chance could you hit the Save Darfur link in my sig and RTF please.

    Thank you

    James W.

  15. #15
    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
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    Re: The strangler

    4.... thanks for the feed
    GreaterDesignGrowers.com

    Im not a rapper, im a gardener

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