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Thread: Left

  1. February 26th, 2007, 03:04 AM #1
    KayBori
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    Left

    When the beautiful faces fade and all thats left is your soul
    To what will you grasp in the dark to take hold
    It'll never be you,you think, as your eyes try to focus
    You continue your denial all the while lost in the moment
    When love dies and your left standing still
    You'll find you've lost everything even your passions, and your will
    All you tried to protect me from has brought me to my knees
    Fighting these demons I almost have to plead
    Grace is really envy and then it turns to hate
    I told you this but to the devil you sent me anticipation for a date..
    maybe
    But you couldn't help, if you could you didn't want to
    Second option is hard to believe considering everything I've done for you
    Everything is confusing the colors are all fused
    Come back, don't leave me, do what your heart is telling you to do!
    It's so hard to admit when someone takes you down
    All the fake smiles and laughs make you feel like a clown
    I almost want out of my misery but then you would have won
    I have to fight back although my heart feels as though it ways a ton
    And the sad thing is you don't even know
    But as I famously say
    "How can you something you haven't been shown?"
    I have to stop wishing bad for you...
    So God can quit cursing me
    though...
    Bitter revenge is a mouth that isn't hard to feed.
    Maybe I do want someone to bring you to your knees


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=327996
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...98#post5538798
    Last edited by KayBori; February 26th, 2007 at 04:21 AM

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  2. February 26th, 2007, 03:27 AM #2
    M-Phantom
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    Re: Left

    Quote Originally Posted by KayBori
    When the beautiful faces fade and all thats left is your soul
    To what will you grasp in the dark to take hold
    It'll never be you,you think, as your eyes try to focus
    You continue your denial all the while lost in the moment
    When love dies and your left standing still
    You'll find you've lost everything even your passions, and your will
    All you tried to protect me from has brought me to my knees
    Fighting these demons I almost have to plead
    Grace is really envy and then it turns to hate
    I told you this but to the devil you sent me anticipation for a date..
    maybe
    But you couldn't help, if you could you didn't want to
    Second option is hard to believe considering everything I've done for you
    Everything is confusing the colors are all fused
    Come back, don't leave me, do what your heart is telling you to do!
    It's so hard to admit when someone takes you down
    All the fake smiles and laughs make you feel like a clown
    I almost want out of my misery but hten you would have won
    I have to fight back although my heart feels as though it ways a ton
    And the sad thing is you don't even know
    But as I famously say
    "How can you something you haven't been shown?"
    I have to stop wishing bad for you...
    So God can quit cursing me
    though...
    Bitter revenge is a mouth that isn't hard to feed.


    I like this. It seems personal, which means it's comin from the soul.
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  3. February 26th, 2007, 03:32 AM #3
    KayBori
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    Re: Left

    thankx :-)

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  4. February 26th, 2007, 03:56 AM #4
    KayBori
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    Re: Left

    ^uppin
    i do rtf

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  5. February 26th, 2007, 04:06 AM #5
    vocabz
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    Re: Left

    When love dies and your left standing still
    You'll find you've lost everything even your passions, and your will
    ^Thats deep... real deep


    The fucked up part is... Right now im goin' through this shit. My girl and I really ain't getting along. So she got me all fucked up. She hasnt said a word to me since she laid down... Now shes sleeping... Its like she dont even give a fuck about me anymore.. But fuck it.. Theres nothing I can really do...

    But yeah.. a very strong emotional piece right here.. And I hope everything works out for you. Your a beautiful girl.. And look like you deserve more than suffering pain... I wish ya luck....~1~
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  6. February 26th, 2007, 04:09 AM #6
    KayBori
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    Re: Left

    Quote Originally Posted by vocabz
    ^Thats deep... real deep


    The fucked up part is... Right now im goin' through this shit. My girl and I really ain't getting along. So she got me all fucked up. She hasnt said a word to me since she laid down... Now shes sleeping... Its like she dont even give a fuck about me anymore.. But fuck it.. Theres nothing I can really do...

    But yeah.. a very strong emotional piece right here.. And I hope everything works out for you. Your a beautiful girl.. And look like you deserve more than suffering pain... I wish ya luck....~1~
    thanks
    loves a bitch
    no one deserves the shit they are served
    but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger to stay up amor!

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  7. February 26th, 2007, 04:20 AM #7
    vocabz
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    Re: Left

    Thats true... But it just breaks me down.. To know how many years might just come crashing down... But on the real... My girls not emotional like you... Like shes good lookin and all... Shes a bitch though... But I love her... For now......... And I mean if it ends... Its all for the better... Cuz its not like I have a kid with her... She has a daughter... But shes not mine by blood.. Id still support her though.. Cuz I know her real dad dont want shit to do with her... I'll hit you up some time... But thats if your willing to toss me ya s/n?
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  8. February 26th, 2007, 04:22 AM #8
    KayBori
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    Re: Left

    Quote Originally Posted by vocabz
    Thats true... But it just breaks me down.. To know how many years might just come crashing down... But on the real... My girls not emotional like you... Like shes good lookin and all... Shes a bitch though... But I love her... For now......... And I mean if it ends... Its all for the better... Cuz its not like I have a kid with her... She has a daughter... But shes not mine by blood.. Id still support her though.. Cuz I know her real dad dont want shit to do with her... I'll hit you up some time... But thats if your willing to toss me ya s/n?
    pm me
    im about to go to bed
    but i might be on tomorrow
    :-)

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  9. February 26th, 2007, 05:00 AM #9
    vocabz
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    Re: Left

    ight
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  10. February 26th, 2007, 09:07 AM #10
    Paperback
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    Re: Left

    Very Poetic in many ways`
    This seems more personal than regular topical piece that just want some praises`
    I don't know you well enough to critique on your personally behavior or pass judgement on you life.
    Far as the writing goes like mentioned above this was very poetic and it was very emotional and touching`
    This will do much better with a female audience,
    It was well expressed nevertheless,
    Keep up the good work`
    Peace`


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328001
    Last edited by Paperback; February 26th, 2007 at 09:10 AM
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  11. February 26th, 2007, 09:16 PM #11
    Sir Skiddz SoPhrenic
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    Re: Left

    There were some lines in this which I felt were pretty good, others that I thought were amazing. In some ways it felt like a personal piece, inviting people into your world, but then it felt like a piece that anyone can relate to. Very good verse, I like how it started, very strong, picked up a bit, dropped off a little in the end, but it was well rounded. Nice piece.

    i dont regularly leave links but this is slept on even for my standards of gettin 3 good replies. If you wouldn't mind
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=327714
    Hence Forward.. BURR!
    [YOUTUBE]seYxVBIsycE[/YOUTUBE]
    Just watch My Back, I got the front.
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  12. February 27th, 2007, 12:21 AM #12
    KayBori
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    Re: Left

    uppin!

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  13. February 28th, 2007, 12:05 AM #13
    KayBori
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    Re: Left

    uppin^

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