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Thread: In the Palm of Your Hand

  1. #1
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    Post In the Palm of Your Hand

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=314032
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=314057


    Give them everything
    ‘Reap what you sow’, let ‘em harvest the land
    With the potential harnessed and manned
    Keep in mind, you can’t close your fist, if
    They’re eating out the palm of your hand
    Your smile is only a varnish on a plan
    Packaged world domination,
    But not like a Stalinist brand
    More covert and, easy to follow instructions
    Consuming a populace, like Mount Vesuvius eruptions
    In the format of a book, using heavenly seductions
    The pulling power to rape minds and change their customs
    Their buildings turned to, weapons of mass destruction
    Branching into sects, clashes and ructions
    Which ensued in the pursuit, of one man who touched ‘em
    Blaine with carpentry skills,
    Did he corrupt ‘em? Or was it less shady?
    An innocent light, that drove the Jews and Romans crazy
    It’s hard to tell,
    As histories so hazy on a womb-less baby
    But how can so many people, follow a maybe?
    Miracles only happen in writing
    I’ve had a few myself lately, while I’ve been sitting typing
    Gas thought and lightning, sparking and igniting
    Got my conscience fighting, over once blind paupers
    The passages of after-the-time authors
    I know one things for sure, there’s no footprints left in waters
    No fish swam in a fine Bordeaux of the river it courses
    Of course it’s enormously important to discover the truth
    We’re so far on it’s probably of no use, to dig at the roots
    When the roots aren’t known it can’t be exposed and shown
    To be fables and morals blown, out of all proportion
    Coloured for power, humanity made a bid
    But in the final hour, greed cleaned up at the auction
    It’s like a most tragic orphan, theres many fathers to the misfortune
    The orphans made up, of different peoples portions
    That’s why I draw on caution, and keep an open mind
    Believe in myself and the answers I hope to find
    There’s scope in time to decode between the lines
    It’s a question of looking for the signs,
    As for now? Nothing stands
    & with head in my hands, waiting to see what the light lets in
    At first the scar tissue in the middle of my palms is dim
    And there I see it, and go out on a limb
    The light starts to sing, seeing so clearly dam near under the skin!
    Remember, that man round your neck died for your sins

    Driven nails left his palms impaled
    I see it clear as day, as if, a new skin is unveiled
    And then I turned pale, cos if he died for our sins
    Surely the sacrifice has run its course and new deaths must begin
    The yarn is ever plenty, from the lies that we spin
    This time we’ll need 6 billion, to die for our sins
    And counting…
    Last edited by f-gee; October 28th, 2006 at 08:44 AM
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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  2. #2
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    cock suckas
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  3. #3
    man make that font bigger fuckface
    Artificial Intelligence

  4. #4
    any way, i liked the immagery, very well and on point most of the time; the flow was an easy one to catch.. and it made the read very solid, strong lines u used here fam, but a few of them simple yet effective, i liked the whole thing.. it was interesting. nice drop.
    Artificial Intelligence

  5. #5
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    i liked how you made simple words mean a shitload in the sentence and how you made your picee very creative and complex with such a easy flowing rhyme scheme...nicely put and done...the vocab strongly the best in my point from this piece besides the emotion. the way your worded this was nicely assorted and you were comfortable with this and that stod out...nothing seemed forced...some lines were basic though like what Unique said but thats minor though the font can you please make it to at least size 2. lol...

    iight man nice drop..
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  6. #6
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
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    Love it, not jus the simplistic words you've used, but the wordplay/word-usage you've wrote. The imaginary in your verse was good, created a picture in my mind, alot of adjectives in your verse. What I was interested in, was the rhyme-scheme, I'm thinking you's an audio head or done audio. The flow to me was kinda awkward and I read it again and thats when I finially found the scheme/Flow. The Emotion in your verse/tone to me was like as if a preacher was voicing these words. This piece had more of a Thinking concept and the ending proved that. I really like this piece cause of your word-usage and the emotion. Keep writing.

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  7. #7
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    sweet jesus!
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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  8. #8
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    well...i really like the concept a lot. very original...the multies in this were crazy and it really made for a smooth read. I could tell you felt strongly about what you were writing towards the end when you started talking about Jesus cricifixiion and our sins which made the piece that much better...vocab was very well picked and used which i cant say for most writers....but overall im glad i read this because now im looking forward to reading more from you in the future....if possible rtf on "Understanding the Unknown"....thankyou

  9. #9
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    thanks man
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  10. #10
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    This was a real good piece...I feel the imagery in this. I can sense a strong concept and structure which are both combining in this and making the flow real good as well. Rhyme scheme seems professional and I can see some multies in there that really stand out.

    Nice stuff man.


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  11. #11
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    og fugee laryn hill type wycliff mo'fucka u left sum feed if only shitty on my vortex piece so ill leav a few lines here.......


    rhymes was ok.flow was tight........vocab was nice..............if at a few times over the top tho and not understandable..........
    the concepts was obviously hidden within mettaphors.as most of my stuff is.but i wont bother to work out the whole meaning of it all as you diddnyt bother to with the pice i wrote as vortex so you missed the plot .as i'm deliberately missing the plot on your piece now and just tslkingh on and on....lol..bacl to your piece....
    nnice flow ..format was messy..and i wont bother feeling the concept on something wrote by someone not bothering with mine...
    lol


    pz

  12. #12
    S.N.I.C.....is no more... Don Q's Avatar
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    it was sorta like an easy read. it was good who you put easy words in a lyrical sentence but it was alright. i hope this aint your style.
    I'm not necessarily the original, more like the new but don't ever compare me to another.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by S.N.I.C
    it was sorta like an easy read. it was good who you put easy words in a lyrical sentence but it was alright. i hope this aint your style.

    lol

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