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Thread: The American Dream

  1. October 26th, 2006, 02:04 PM #1
    ..IllThoughtZ..
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    The American Dream

    As bright light embarks its journey onto my
    humble abode, i sit laced in perennial bewil-
    derment- So subtle a voice is cried from the
    wilderness there yonder, where the horizon
    is rendered by envy and the blowing of
    weeping willows. My peppermint tea-brewing
    so potent because of age and wisdom displayed
    by its fervor- Corrupted vision stains the
    heights and cleanses the Earth so what is
    my delirium that ponders me so? For my mind
    spins like the globe on its axle- captive to the
    American Dream.. Hope engulfs the sight of
    the innocent giving power to the blind- We
    are rebels, predestined to the fate of our
    predecessors- Eye for an eye, but success
    is merely in the Eye of whom beholds....
    My peppermint tea- so rich in satisfaction,
    holds to me in which I hold to it-
    ... .The American Dream......


    This was just a lil quickie i whipped up so its not long...but feed plzz..links on the way..
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  2. October 26th, 2006, 02:11 PM #2
    ..IllThoughtZ..
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    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...52#post5239352
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post5239369
    Last edited by ..IllThoughtZ..; October 26th, 2006 at 02:19 PM
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  3. October 26th, 2006, 02:22 PM #3
    cousin mikey
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    i think it was pretty cool for a just whip up....
    im new here dawg so show some luv
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  4. October 27th, 2006, 12:59 PM #4
    M-A-D
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    My peppermint tea-brewing
    so potent because of age and wisdom displayed
    this really got me and i think its the best part inthe think
    though the rest suits it keep it comming with the stuff
    And all that gibberish
    that you were spittin'
    you need to kill it
    Cas your style is like dying in my sleep
    , I don't feel it
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  5. October 27th, 2006, 01:31 PM #5
    f-gee
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    for starters this was a poem, so its in the wrong section

    anyhow,

    wasn't mghtily impressed with this, it didnt live up to the promise of what i woulda expected from the title
    seemed a bit too 'spaced out', as i didn't cut to the heart of the topic at hand and didnt really hold my attention either

    this topic needed expansion

    dont get me wrong it wasn't poorly written, but lacked punch and left me with no lasting thoughts

    keep writing
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube
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  6. October 27th, 2006, 02:40 PM #6
    Forum
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    I think this shoulve been in P.S. but what the hey. It eas a nice drop the emotion was felt. its was worded well the imagery was coo. no multi's ? but overall this was a good read you kept it short and sweet. nice shit keep it ^ RTF.....PLZ


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    If I voted in your battle or left feed on your OM plz RTF

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  7. October 27th, 2006, 10:41 PM #7
    ..IllThoughtZ..
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    thanks for da feed guys...uppin....i will rtf soon...
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  8. October 28th, 2006, 06:11 AM #8
    Edicius.
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    it was okay, more of a poem - some lines where cool, nothing outstanding.
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  9. October 29th, 2006, 01:40 AM #9
    ..IllThoughtZ..
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    rise ...last time so plzz feed me
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  10. November 3rd, 2006, 04:30 PM #10
    Don Luciano
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    This was a nice piece right here....love the way you told the story, flow was good as well and I feel your lyrics man.

    Nice job, keep it up/


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    I will notify the public when the station is ON AIR!

    Battles That Need Closing

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    Open Mic's


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