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Thread: A Normal Life

  1. #1
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    A Normal Life

    A Normal Life

    I wish I had a normal life!
    Those words of velvet ribbon flowing out my mouth,
    I'll never forget, I still remember.
    Ahhh, the sensation of just for an instant THINKING-
    that life could be normal for a bit.


    I wish I had that, I wish I was like him,
    like what? I wish I was normal.


    See, let me inform you about the normal life you don't live,
    A mother crying till midnight, lost from the ship she wrecked,
    years ago, pirates sank her love until she drowned with
    'Ole Faithful' Captain Morgan. In his arms, she was invincible,
    but without him she was incomplete, a side of her was gone.

    And the little boy who makes A's on test scores, always clean,
    has friends and lives the life you jealosly stalk at night in your
    dreams as the sand man pours reality in your eyes? Well,
    he cannot see, but he follows the path of bad choices,
    he's fine right now, but steps reverse as he trips down to where
    you thought you were, and where no normal man lays.

    The father, living his life to the fullest, providing his love
    right down to the core where it splits into the hands of a stripper.
    Old George was number one to him, never failing to last
    at least 10 minutes of love at first, second, and third sight.


    I'd love to lend you a normal life,
    but its hard to have whats not there.
    Last edited by Jon; September 15th, 2006 at 08:18 AM
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  2. #2
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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  3. #3
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Come on..

    please
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  4. #4
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    Awards OFOTK Champion Haiku Champion Legendary PC Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF 75+ Wins
    This was pretty good, a few mispellings....Captian=Captain and drown=drowned. Emotion was nice and I liked how you put your rhymes together with the sporadic rhyme scheme.
    This was a nice drop, hope you'll come back sometime

    if you could http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=309120
    A few achievements here and there

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  5. #5
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    ^ I'm just quitting mainly activity and crews, I'll still drop
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  6. #6
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
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    Isn't everyone, though? lol

    anyway.. yeh as laureate said, this piece was pretty nice, but the missplelings threw me off and it made it seem a little unproffesional.. emotion was very nice as well... the ending was good too, very true statements.. the word usage was pretty good too... so overall you scripted a nice piece of poetry... good job. pz

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  7. #7
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    uppin
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  8. #8
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Yall please leave some fucking feed on this.
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  9. #9
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    hmmm.. Gay
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  10. #10
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    come on.. PLEASE leave feed on this.
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  11. #11
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    last up
    Artificial.Intelligence

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