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Thread: Torn

  1. May 1st, 2006, 07:44 AM #1
    babytori489
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    Torn

    I'm torn between two worlds of what's right and wrong
    I'm either a good girl or a hoe showing her thong
    Respect is given when respect is shown
    Maybe if i show a little skin guys will leave me alone
    I've given up all i had to be accepted for who i am
    but through their eyes i'm a whore stealing everyones man
    I'm a sophisticate, but people only know what they see
    I wear sexy clothes, but i wear what comforts me
    Twas a smart young lady doing beautiful things
    got involved with the wrong person who showed a side of me i never seen
    I ended up living my whole life the despicable street way
    did what i could to get money so at night somewhere my head could lay
    I guess everyone was right when they said i wouldnt be something
    To this day i can honestly say that i am nothing
    When i look into my sisters eyes all i see is shame
    nothing but tears rollong down whenever she hears my name
    "Tora....baby girl don't be mad at me
    all i ever wanted was for you to be proud of me
    I'm sorry if i caused so much pain by what i do
    I honestly wish i could say those dreadful ways are through
    Yet still im torn because i dont want to live this way
    but i found out behind every bad moment shines a new day"


    Torn,Torn....torn is what i am
    wish i could get myself out of this jam
    Torn,Torn....what am i supposed to do
    a powerful voice told me "only the power in you can save you"
    Last edited by babytori489; May 1st, 2006 at 11:49 AM
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  2. May 1st, 2006, 07:51 AM #2
    babytori489
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    here are links to other om's i left feedback on


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=4391871#post4391871



    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=289672

    for some reason i cant get into these links but one of them is "jesus understands" by Keyedand the other is " A letter from heaven" by Im signed HeHe
    Last edited by babytori489; May 1st, 2006 at 07:57 AM
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  3. May 1st, 2006, 10:33 AM #3
    babytori489
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    aight.i would really appreciate some feedback on this.thank you
    IM FRESHA THAN A MUFUCKA,YEA IM A MUFUCKA

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  4. May 1st, 2006, 10:46 AM #4
    CypherSoreEyez.
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    Yea This Was Pretty Dope Tori Fa Sho..Frav Lines..

    I guess everyone was right when they said i wouldnt be something
    To this day i can honestly say that i am nothing
    When i look into my sisters eyes all i see is shame
    nothing but tears rollong down whenever she hears my name
    "Tora....baby girl don't be mad at me
    all i ever wanted was for you to be proud of me
    I'm sorry if i caused so much pain by what i do
    I honestly wish i could say those dreadful ways are through

    Real Emotional Shit, Vocab And Flow Were On Point Although Some Meta's And Multis Could Of Made This A Real Winner, I Only Wish Youd Have Made It A Lil Longer, Also I Wouldnt Bold Ya Lyrics, It Makes It Look Unatractive...

    But Still This Was Pretty Dope,..Good Job.
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  5. May 1st, 2006, 11:49 AM #5
    babytori489
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    thanx for the feed,and thanx for lettin me kno bout the bold letterings,i think imma change it.
    uppin for more feed
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  6. May 1st, 2006, 12:11 PM #6
    CypherSoreEyez.
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    No Need To Thank Me,
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  7. May 1st, 2006, 12:18 PM #7
    Arsenist3rd*
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    yo tori I c where u got u're ammo for this one since I know alil of u're history behind this piece it was real good it was totally all u no slight amount of fakeness or uncertaintity (even though a few things did seem like they didn't happen to u but u managed ta sell it anyway) tha structure and flow were hard to get at first but near tha middle I picked it up and tha words were smooth also imagery and emotion were real strong I find this a must read and not juss cuz we tite but its that good
    Last edited by Arsenist3rd*; May 1st, 2006 at 12:21 PM
    Blow It Out U're Ass

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  8. May 1st, 2006, 12:25 PM #8
    babytori489
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    yea,i had some sort of story to tell.it came from me because of wats goin on in my life and there are alot of stuff i would love to apologize to my sister about my life.but yea u kno the story,but thanx for the feed.

    uppin for more please n thank u
    IM FRESHA THAN A MUFUCKA,YEA IM A MUFUCKA

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  9. May 1st, 2006, 01:26 PM #9
    Pusha C
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    ooh this was good kinda sad but good it made me feel like a punk all soft in side man you killed this it sounds to real to be not true and the flow was on point you did every thing perfect in this one
    THEY GONE HATE ME NOW
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  10. May 1st, 2006, 01:31 PM #10
    babytori489
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    aight uppin
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  11. May 2nd, 2006, 07:20 AM #11
    babytori489
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    uppin for more feedback thanx
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  12. May 2nd, 2006, 07:34 AM #12
    TORA_88
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    yea that was pretty nice tori well since u mentioned my name i guess i'm a star-a
    Ain't bout no funny shit still bitches and business
    I'm on my money shit still whippin' them Benzs
    Major league who catchin' because I'm pitchin'
    Jose Canseco just snitchin' because he's finish
    I feed 'em steriods to strengthen up all my chickens
    Triple C's you know it's back we holdin' sacks
    So nigga go on rat, run and tell 'em that

    [FONT=Arial]
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  13. May 2nd, 2006, 08:18 AM #13
    Evolve
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    This wasnt bad. You definately got your message across & i felt the emotion. The only thing is that it was a little simple. There were no multi's, no metaphors, no internal rhyming. Not that every piece HAS to have it.. it just would have made this that much better. Keep going though.. you have potential.
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  14. May 2nd, 2006, 09:25 AM #14
    babytori489
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    aight thanx.uppin for more feed
    IM FRESHA THAN A MUFUCKA,YEA IM A MUFUCKA

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  15. May 2nd, 2006, 10:45 AM #15
    babytori489
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    uppin
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