Battlefield

[Mythical]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=269110
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=269120

Battlefield

Dragged up and down this furnace against the blistering barricades
The sirens screaming for sweet release, as they sit back and watch with amaze
The war zones breath fire, pillars stack, while words propagate and lie
Worn on their sleeve, a soldier bleeds virtue while a warrior bleeds pride

The lines drawn, the enemy masked but all that is seen is what their merciless eyes reveal
Children used as targets while troops use the love of kindred as their shield
Bullets hiss with steam as smoke plums from flaming barrels
Screams escape from throats choked with ash, as steel collides with flesh and metals

Knees quake as the broken ground shakes and shatters
Broken bodies line the ground as a crimson massacre
The blue becomes deep and darkness grasps the reigns of the sky
The battle fields do not whisper but shout death’s lullaby

Was it worth it, the black soil and the riches and the war’s spoils
Stained hands can’t cover the sight, not in blood but stained in oil
Only to scream out fear into the tempest light
The moon reflecting upon the waters, reflect a soul filled with fright

Quivering palms and scarred hands wiping away the sinful ‘mare
Memories lasting but a soul cannot be drained of such despair
Speaking out crimes of shame, memories shall torment all if not one
Cradled within bliss, the sacrifices made for both daughter and son

[MISTA GRIM]

wow--very nice
you had a nice vocab,and were creative..thats pretty much the sum of it..all together clean....hit me up with a topic so we can collab..if u want?and do u have an alias?

[MISTA GRIM]

p.s srry for short feed but i'm high so.........blahhh

[Mythical]

Uppin it for more feedback.

[DonOwnsYou]

You took me there...

I like this alot. This is my type of shit right here...you had my attention all of the way though.

9/10

Don

Please check out my stuff and comment...positive or negative comments welcomed.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=269128

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=268944

[Johnny 6-feet]

Closed. Read the rules.

[Bounce]

re-opened since everything seems legit as far as links go...

[Mythical]

Thanks Bounce.

@ Grim: Thanks for the comments, and yeah, I'd be up for a collab if you want.

@ Don: Much appreciated bud.

Any feedback from anyone else?

[reincarnation]

Jo? This shit was nice jo, i liked the whole concept of this shit jo, it was nice and deep at the same time. You used nice vocab and metaphors, all a nigga can say is keep this shit up jo? check out my Soldiers Sorrow in open mic. il post the link

keep writing

[reincarnation]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=245856&page=3

[mc pyro.]

yo this was some real ill shit right here i liked the imagery and vocab a lot when i saw the title it looked like this piece might be a pretty common topic but when i read it i relized u made that topic ur own great job wit this stay up
leave feed on my om reflection

[Mistral]

Wow this was very nice man. You really painted a picture in my head, As i was reading this I could picture everything by the way that you described it. Vocab was good in this, you didnt over do it, i think it was just perfect. You had me hooked with the first line, it just drew me right in and wanted to continue reading, it was just a awesome piece overall man, I really enjoyed this, just loved the way you described things.

[Spoken Deity]

Your did pretty good in this. You imagery was pretty good through out the whole deal. I think you need more internals but only 2-3 lines seemed stretched. You really came pretty good. I hope to see more of your shit dude. keep it up.