come out

[X-treme]

Man i seen shit at such a young age its a shame
i know the game,seen the pain,stood in rain
still no fame still the same
still the same shit happening when the guns cum out,prolly because the funds cum out then drugs cum out then he thugs cum out den the hollow tip slugs cum,then peoples nuns inside cum out,pray for life we etheir shoot em or we run em out,or torture em til the sun cum out,our hits we ethier rap or we crunk em out,we preaperd for war you came with boats and we sunk em out.

(Working on a short hook!)

Yeah ya people come but we got people right there wating,blood on the floor already u slip like you skating,damn bitches shook now you shaking is it coz all the drugs you taking or the funds we making why you gotst to be hating,we aint faking we real,see us and stop like your breaking,but we shoot you waking on life suport aching,and we still in the hood hot as hell like we baking,Lookin at the opertunities we creating.

outro

This is a new style for me so please rate it,also if anyone wants to add the hook holla at me peace

[X-treme]

My bad heres da links

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...89#post2936089
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...90#post2936090

[X-treme]

uppin

[SunSpit]

Yo diz was aight. Nice multi's in there. Juss up on ur vocabulary n try 2 put some imagery n emotion in it. Otha den dat pretty good. Hit up da links in my sig.

[youngclip]

its was good try 2 some more vocab in it i think dats hot how u can jus rap bout anything like dat u got mad talent ya'll otha niggas should check diz shit iight diz is real rite u keep up nigga u gonna be nasty

[Dirty South]

to me this piece felt rushed...it was decent in parts but you really need to work on flow...it was A used concept, but that doesn't really matter much if you target it right, you also need to work on structure and vocab., ...just keep dropping and soon you will get there. decent at best but don't give up

Look out for my 3 part OM...comin sooner than you think

[X-treme]

uppin ne ideas for a hook? or does ne1 wanna write a verse for da end of this holla at me

[sILLable]

i also felt you should have took your time with this piece...you had some misguided multis swirling around a played topic.....needs more emotion and more complexity..some more imagery too..all in all could have been better.~1~

[X-treme]

uppin