since i was born

[Ciccone]

i shine the brightest,rhymes is the tightest
tighter than a baby's eyelids
scared after they hear lightning
ever since the earths creation i've been shinig
GOD sed let there be light and i started rhyming
thats why cats should never battle
i am the first out there to be fly like pterodactyls
me and the mic is connected like ya wrist and ya hands
i kick freestlyes that have you pissing ya pants
the biggest player,all the beautiful women out there wanna be with me
why you think the president has to settle for overweight monica lewinsky
thats why dames be runnin with there arms open headed my way
like single brides maids who rush to catch the bride's bouquet
i wanna meet all biters in battle
when i'm finished all of em gonna be biting with false enamel
my style is like lightning flashes
cuz after its strikes mcz are reduce to a pile of ashes
i never strike twice in the same place
cuz the first time i strike ya get ya frame erased
to kill an mc i dont need a heater
i'll take you apart cell by cell to you nutin but an amoeba
not even and organism rather ,a single cell germ
my postion at hell's helm is will always be held firm
cuz i'll turn the heat up and make the devils flesh burn

[Ciccone]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=203752
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=204391

[EyeBite]

well......... the strucutre was ok... nuthin big, but it was real simple.... the rhymes were good sum where ok in sum places.. sum didint even rhyme......the flow was ok too... it was off cuz of the strucutre..... the vocab was alright... this peice could be better... with sum practice and elevation.... you could get much better!.......keep it up man.... hope to see you improve....

[CrazyCarl]

You attempted wordplay with this, and while definitely being worth the effort, they weren't that complex, pretty straightforward. Parts got repetitive, so be conscious of your word choice. The rhyming was simple, especially when the lines got longer, there could have been more done to keep the flow going.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=200068

[sILLable]

this piece alright....it could use elevation.....you did attempt some complex wordplay but whatever....your vocab was aiight nothin that special but a little bit abov average....your structure was aiight...stretched out too much in tha middle...fuckin up your rhyme scheme a little bit....all in all this piece was layed out but could use elevation mos def...keep droppin and elevatin.~1~