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Thread: It all happened... Part 1. Friendly UFO or FOE

  1. #1
    I hold rymes like an ATM
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    Nigga what I need a jet for//Caz my wing spand cant get rid of more birds then a pet store
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    It all happened... Part 1. Friendly UFO or FOE

    It was terrifyin, They came from the sky high above
    I saw it appear from the window, on the side of my tub
    Looked out curious, and before my little pupils I saw
    something lettin lose out of the clouds, standin 2 miles tall
    It was floatin, Black with a scary sense of attack in the air
    People everywhere below in Manhattan, scatter caz they were scared
    The thing was at least 15 miles long, covered the whole city
    And when I got out the shower, took my food, I dropped the bowl of chili
    Dam, what is that thing, My wife was still asleep
    I ran back in, calm and softly, told her to wake up, with a kiss on her cheek
    I told her to cleanup in the bathroom, we are leavin for a trip
    She smiled with excitement, I couldnt do it back, so I faked it
    When I heard the water running, I peaked out at the thing again
    Saw the hoverin object waitin, Terrifyin the people at the scene at hand
    I call my mom, paps, and siblings, told them to all leave New york
    None of them had a clue why, to any a sort
    My wife came out the steamin room, dressed in white towels
    I said, pack ur things honey, we gotta leave town right now
    She didnt know what to think, she ask me, honey whats wrong
    I replied, we'll be dead if we dont, so at dawn we are gone
    The clock ticked up, from 4 am to 7:30 in the morn
    Every news media was on the case, people lives were torn
    Mass evacuation was happening, Millions tryin to leave the city
    Me and my wife Sandra packed everything, kitty cat to T.v.
    The sky was clear, and u could see the thing start to disappear
    Now that made me and my wife, run for the car in complete fear
    Are they a threat to our nation, why would they want to invade
    ANd if our city is under attack, I hope our government brings aid
    We got in the car, I started it, and we drove the opposite way
    Saw the UFO vanish behind us, and down shot a blue ray
    And that was the start of Earths Independence day


    TO BE CONTINUED...........
    Last edited by M Pulsive; April 17th, 2005 at 10:58 AM Reason: for some more bars

  2. #2
    I hold rymes like an ATM
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Nigga what I need a jet for//Caz my wing spand cant get rid of more birds then a pet store
    Age
    37
    Posts
    1,357
    Battle Record
    8-11

  3. #3
    The True Psycho of RB
    Join Date
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    I liked this piece its original strange but orginal i like these types of pieces 0bviously youve got another verse for this piece but i think this was a decent story rap the flow in the piece was nice in some parts but average in others.
    The structure was ok but try and keep them the same length and try and keep the flow more consistent. Good piece.

    Return the favour:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=186523

  4. #4
    ...Lyrics Flowin...
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Florida..321
    Age
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    Battle Record
    9-5
    This verse was pretty good, I mean u still need to work on flow just a lil' bit.
    It was very original, and all in all pretty dope.
    Overall: 8.5/10

    rtf on any of my OMS but Id prefer: Why I rap? its on OM front page
    Hadez Paragon


    Apoetic




    MERKED
    CUZ
    MasterJ
    Street_Play
    Cracker
    tha Yung1
    Dolla Biggs
    Dr.Spitfire
    Young Don
    Not By Design





    Net Record: 13-3

  5. #5
    Banned
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    Start leaving some better feedback.

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