Point Of View~

[.OriGiNiLL.]

Kids gettin killed for wrong colors please be catious..
Punk Rockers at concerts startin big mosh pits'..
Just wanting to eat without arguements from parents..
Kid's gettin fun of at school for the mother-father heritage..
I ask my self why all these fighting and arguements..
Beggin for the owner give us next week to pay-rent..
Nothing to eat, luckly at school theres a cafeteria..
Jocks...Thugs..Popular...Getin Judged By each Criteria..
Reports of news on the TV..kids gettin into drugs..
Whoever said that the streets were only for thugs'....
Hating over jealousy and trust me i've been their..
Dont judge a book from its cover...Lifes not fair...
Why try when the only respone is negative...
Crips..Bloods...They what you represented
Now you in jail...If your lucky you get bail
But you commited murder...Your life Is Goin No Further.....
From My Point Of View...Lifes a game you lose you win too..
But make a mistake and Its over...But thats just my point of view


http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185171
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...16#post2280816

[Rock$]

werd up lil nigga, nice drop staright up keep that shit up dawgy fa real hollaat me 1

rock to the money sign

[.OriGiNiLL.]

Any Feedback I Can Get??

[CrazyCarl]

I felt this could have been longer. You had some alright ideas, but there was room for you to be more descriptive. You can work on vocab to more clearly state your message. Try to stick close to your topic, and go in depth with it. You might have gotten stuck on some rhymes, so keep writing, and you'll improve at it.
Return the feedback
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185738

[warchild]

The concept was good but i didnt think you got deep enough on the subject i felt some of the rhymes were a bit corny. The first few bars didnt rhyme well so try and work on your rhyme scheme and vocab cause that wil help you as a writer the flow wasnt there so just write as many rhymes as you can and the more you'll write the more you'll learn.

Return the favour:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=185688