Raindrops ft. Ra Ill

[Vylint]

Ra Ill
Vylint

Its overwhelming, how im dwelling, on these tears, I know its just compelling,
In a letter its covered in spelling, overtaken by the drops my body im selling..
I wanna be the center of attention, but did I mention, minds in detention,
Ive begin to have the itchin, I stab at me, but I just started flinchin..
Tryin to get out the kitchen, its all heat and headaches,
My destiny is leaking forth, through my skin I shed fate..
Im trying to stop dwelling on the past, with fine brass and shattered glass,
Going into oblivion, in my opinion im sinin in such a tattered mass..
Running through the field of pain, but I shield the cane,
Revenge is sweet once I slice my wrist to wield the sane..
Ill peel the shame, once I get it right put up a fight against myself,
Ive marked my arms and im getting warm, Ill repent for help..

And i'll repent for a clearer consious
Concede, control and steer the drops with
My mind that rotten, image that concept
Condesion collects, cools, drops quick
And a brain in a hostage works the ripple effect
On a small boy, with a cripple defect
And damn he's gettin wet, his hair like strings on a mop
Drip Drip Drip, he trys to get up and just drops
He's givin up a different image front
He looks up, like god gives a fuck
The reason my raindrops, on a pickup truck
To wash it clean, shine, the trickle trump
He's collected, And looks like his ass is kicked
Cuz he's booted so much herion he laughs at kids
That are in it to try it, just one more time.. shit
He tryed it, not he lives in the bed of his truck, try it
TRY IT! and then blink your eyelids
In disbeleif, that you now in the riot
I'm a clound, non nine bitch, but real close and posible
I'll whipe a tear..
cuz its sad, that my raindrops for you...


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=154780
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=154782

..Part of my plan to take back OM.

[PostmorteM]

Vylint had the upperhand in this collab no doubt...Ra Ill had a good verse, but he didn't pull me in nearly as much as Vylint's verse did...and Vylint had a better structure, metaphorical tongue, and emotion....

Best Parts From Each Verse:

I wanna be the center of attention, but did I mention, minds in detention,
Ive begin to have the itchin, I stab at me, but I just started flinchin..
Tryin to get out the kitchen, its all heat and headaches,
My destiny is leaking forth, through my skin I shed fate..
Im trying to stop dwelling on the past, with fine brass and shattered glass,
Going into oblivion, in my opinion im sinin in such a tattered mass..
Running through the field of pain, but I shield the cane,
Revenge is sweet once I slice my wrist to wield the sane..

^Your vocabulary was the best in the mid section of your verse...as well as your emotion but your connections with the story was a bit weak...still a good read from you..

And i'll repent for a clearer consious
Concede, control and steer the drops with
My mind that rotten, image that concept
Condesion collects, cools, drops quick
And a brain in a hostage works the ripple effect
On a small boy, with a cripple defect
And damn he's gettin wet, his hair like strings on a mop
Drip Drip Drip, he trys to get up and just drops
He's givin up a different image front
He looks up, like god gives a fuck

^Niceness right here...you had emotion, vocabulary, imagery....the first half of your verse is the most compelling part of this collab...good shit...


BreakDown
Vocabulary - Ra Ill
Emotion - Vylint
Structure - Vylint
RhymeScheme - Vylint
Originality - Vylint
Overall:
Definately a nice read, and Ra Ill seemed to slow the dopeness of this collab down a bit from it's real potential honestly...the topic was nice...and you both gave a good verse....


Rating:
8/10

[Toil]

Ra Ill is a homo. j/k, anyways, Vylint had the better take in this collab. fell off towards the end though, while Ra kept it simple.

The reason my raindrops, on a pickup truck
To wash it clean, shine, the trickle trump
He's collected, And looks like his ass is kicked
Cuz he's booted so much herion he laughs at kids
That are in it to try it, just one more time.. shit
He tryed it, not he lives in the bed of his truck, try it
TRY IT! and then blink your eyelids
In disbeleif, that you now in the riot
I'm a clound, non nine bitch, but real close and posible
I'll whipe a tear..
cuz its sad, that my raindrops for you...

nice ^

Tryin to get out the kitchen, its all heat and headaches,
My destiny is leaking forth, through my skin I shed fate..
Im trying to stop dwelling on the past, with fine brass and shattered glass,
Going into oblivion, in my opinion im sinin in such a tattered mass..

Decent^

return the favor

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=154854

[Vylint]

dumb fucking rb