Topic: "The Loss of a friend"
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Eki
ILLunatic
Topic: "The Loss of a friend"
10-20 Lines
Normal Rules!
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in man... how long do we have to drop?...................
Try to post by tonight if you can
-ILLunatic
Last edited by ILLunatic; March 2nd, 2004 at 06:08 AM
"The Loss of a Friend"
We grew up together, been bestfriends since the age of five
I'd never thought you'd die so soon. Man you were my bestest friend alive
From the times we were scared to walk in the middle of the street
To the times we've went head ta head to compete
Without you by my side, my heart feels completely empty
I can't believe your gone, and your gone before the age of twenty
Why'd you have to die so young, why couldn't you have just survive
Every night i dream your alive, and i awake and your gone and i ask god WHY
Why did you have to take my bestfriend, why couldn't you have takin me?
Its to complicated to see, as i drop to my knees
Tears strollin down my face, i feel like i've lost my soul
But the memories and our friendship i will always extol
...
The loss of you my friend has been hard, but i'm getting through life
Every day i think about you... And .. i see you at night
Your my gardian angel, Keep watchin over me
Especially when i'm gone to war.. to fight over sea!
Keep me bullet free, make sure i my life doesn't end short
Remember when we was kids.. And you fell out of our fort!
You broke both your wrist, and i carried you to the hospital for saftey
I miss you my friend.. I will never forget the good times you have gave me
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ill drop tommorow morning man.. am all stuffed now need some sleep!! sorry man
Loss of a friend
We met decades ago, when I was only learning existance
they said he wasnt good for me, but I was to young to make sence
From the stress he'd set me free, we were best friends
he would always be there, especially when life starts being hard
my perents didnt like him , said he would leave my life scarred
I started to notice hes evil ways, but our friendship was too strong
years of friendship were born from just days, together we belonged
As I grew this bond was getting stronger,I saw him everyday
we would meet for a few min, no longer, always on time, no delay
But as I grew I noticed hes two face, he was never really my friend
hes friendship i tried to replace, but we were always together on the end
I lost many girlfriends, becaouse they didnt like hes rude traditions
whenever I tried to end it, he would win with his contradictions
One day when he stabed me in the back, Caousing me to collapse
I was a walking wrack, thats when we took opposite steps
I never looked back, and i have been better of since our end
When Said bye to ciggarets , I lost a friend.....
iight..
Ill.. You had amazing imagery in your piece.. Could picture him falling out the fort when they were kids.. Brilliant.. Very emotional piece.. Was a good read.. Vocabulary was there.. Even if you didnt spell most of it correctly.. Lol.. Nce flow.. Choppy in places.. Structure looked pretty and did its job.. Very emotional drop my friend..
Eki.. Hmm.. After reading Ill's first.. Yours jus didnt compare to be honest.. It was up to the standard of Ill's.. Vocabulary was ehh.. Flow wasnt bad.. Structure was jus normal.. Honestly.. Just didnt compare to Ill's piece.. Cant lie.. Good enough drop though.. Would of beaten a couple of other topical heads.. But not this one..
v/ ILLunatic..
Both of you hit this please..
Freeman Vs SmokaJoka666 Topical (no polls)
Thanks..
Pz..
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1-0 Uppin'#1
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uppin............................................. ...
upin.............................................. .......
okay each of your pieces was very good and both had some okay imagery but ill had some great imagery...i was feel both verses but i felt ill's alot more and could relate to that one alot more then the other one...
ill- you had better flow along with structure and great emotion
eki- yours was okay but wasnt that great compared to ill's...we should deffly topical some time....
vote-ill
both you return an honest vote on this text battle...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=117954
along with the topical one in my sig please
2-0 Uppin#2
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both of you had notable lines, the emotion came through strong i think on both, so it was hard to judge, ILLuniac had a slightly better verse, judging on flow and structure, i really liked both though.
keep droppin
peep my battle with Waz if you get the chance
Def Poets
Ill- dope verse. sort of like a story but better because there weren't any actions, just thoughts. it painted very descriptive images and it held the elements of a rap also. the flow and structure were nice and the word choice was commendable. very nice way of explaining the loss and everything. i felt the emotion. 8.5/10
Eki- nice verse. your flow was good, but sum of they rhyming was a bit sketchy. you didn't really focus on one thing which thru me off in places. but i felt the emotion in this one also. just not as much. it seemed like you were rushing to finish. still a good drop. just not as good as Ill's. 7.5/10
vote- Ill...better imagery and style
plz hit thie up in return. slept on like crzy:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=117419
pz
MY VERDICT
ILL: good drop really good and believable as if its a life experiance of yours and a chapter in your life story and emotion was powerful as if your words cried tears. Showed sorrow yet also the good times.it would of also made a good open mic for any1 to read and if that was a true story of yours maybe u should put it in open mic as a tribute to that friend. overall dope shit!
Eki: good shit bout betrayl ive had dat in my life but u were talkin more about the issues u and ur friend had not the loss of him and how things changed and then u had loss so threw out ur drop it was kinda loose not really there. But all in all still good but not believable sounds like u got that out of a novel u read, not out of ur head.
still a good drop!
MY VOTE : IlLunatic - p.s - return the favour with honest votes on my battles!
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