The Burden and The Grail

"Take my yoke upon you." Matthew 11:29
'I will not drink again this product of the vine until I drink it new with you in the
kingdom of my Father.' Matthew 26:29




Iscariot, you took the yoke of Christ
and bore it stoically, supernal bliss
perhaps the aspiration that sufficed
to keep you on the Way of Holiness.
What swayed your loyalty? The serpent's hiss,
scorning the Christly yoke as durance vile?
Both vinegar and wine be due the press.
Those who bear the burden share the grail.

Pray, when you carried out your clever heist
of poorbox monies, how did you dismiss
the inward odium? And when you priced
your honour with that final infamous
transaction, tell us, how did you suppress
the scream of conscience then? Or did you fail,
so supped the devil's cup of emptiness?
Those who bear the burden share the grail.

Death spared you this: your Mentor sacrificed,
suspended from a Roman nail; distress
etched deep across his brow; acetum spiced
with gall souring his blistered lip; duress
bursting his heart; yet dredging strength to bless
a penitent who shared the Roman pale.
The final anguished cry. The black abyss.

Those who bear His burden share His grail.
Judas, you sealed him with a traitor's kiss
and set the bar for ultimate betrayal.
You traded for your coin a saint's address.
Those who spurn the burden cede the grail.

Coo..not my style....and I think a non religious person might
not fully understand this....good thing I taught Sunday School
;) This was good tho...my fav line was where you said Judas
Took money instead of a trip to heaven....that was coo
Keep droppin....

A nice piece here...
To be be honest, im abit lost in my faith...is it true or is it not?


give better feedback please
-Lyric

Nice. I liked the style of it.


give better feedback please
-Lyric

This was an interesting read. First off, it was different than most peices you see. The vocab, along with imagery and emotion was great. There were a few spelling errors in it, but no big deal, lol. I liked the concept to this also. The flow was pretty smooth as well. You kept my attention with every line of this. I can tell your a talented writer, Id like to see more from you. Keep it up
btw are you an alias?

peace,
Mez

vocab: check
flow: check
rhyme scheme: check
Concept:check
originality:check
metaphors:check

hell nice piece

bless this prayer poem for me G

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=171015

Give better feed
-Lyric

This was nice I read this at my house while you were posting it. I met this guy in a coffee shop like a week ago or something. But he happened to go to my school and man can he write. I thought that this was a real nice piece it had alot of great imagery and my fav line as well is the judas took money line.

Thanks for the feedback.

this was good...

different from most on the site...

faith based...always a plus

historicity is maintained throughout...

nice meter and iamb spacing

not that much for me to really mention...

keep doing what you're doing...

and check out the divine diction crew forum in the crews/ hook ups section...

we're in new crews

Uppin this for knawledge....