Prayer for hope and progression

[The Vortex]

Prayer for hope and progression



Mighty Lord, I am doomed lest thou should save me
Exhume my ghost from these sweltering pits,
Hopelessness rules thru the depths of darkness,
Almost collapsed, but still stationed bravely
This once heart of vigour pines for replenishment,
To be quenched, and not drenched in this sin,
Send out some guidance God, I am listening
For the reverberation of Angel’s sentient.

Unleash my psyche from these prison-like chambers,
With new courage construction shall flourish
With honey from Heaven this Soul will nourish
Hence, change this waste to a life of purpose,
Please see well in me, that I may honour thy name
And make Sun beams gleam in my presence,
Rives of new hope hold dreams in their currents,
Fancy going forth, never returning the same.

Amen.

[The Vortex]

ups

[Dan Dare]

Sweltering pits? You mean armpits? Lol.

Anyway... So, this was quite good really. It was a prayer, and maybe from my position as an athiest I could quite find the right vein of empathy toward your subject matter. But I found it to be very well written.

One tip for you though: spelling. You spelt the word 'through,' like 'thru.' I didn't like that. This a poem; I know it's shorthand, but it just is irritating to see. It shows a lack of maturity in your writing.

Keep dropping.

[The Vortex]

Sweltering armpits of the Atheist

ha ha indeed

come on leave it out with the word "thru"

many poets of the past used it plus it shaped the perfect line length

imature i think not Mr J perfectionist

Thanx for reading tho dawg.. looks like u'll b da only one ...