Theatre of the Mind

She walked from the audience with a glow,
looking to show, how far she's willing to go
A volunteer, or gift from God- I don't know
she's a twist of photography in my slideshow.

The curtains rise as children’s eyes glide,
across the stage, a damsel in pearl white.
Pure with age, black lipstick or night sky?
Not afraid of falling or risking her life.
Only this time. . .
her angelic guide must have been away
one swing of my blade; sacrifice was made
couldn't believe the mistake, I have played.
If only it was my life we had to vacate!
But somebody once said. . .
the show must go on, take right from wrong
lift your burdens child for you are strong,
this is the magician's circle, failure has gone
there is only one last dance and song.
Now for the main event. . .
tears stumble down the crowd's humble awes
perfection shall cross my somewhat lost flaws,
it's time to watch the millions of dropped jaws.
As I resurrect the beauty that I once lost!

She walked from the audience with a glow,
looking to show, how far she's willing to go
A volunteer, or gift from God- I don't know
she's a twist of photography in my slideshow.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=371541
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ry-371147.html

overall this was a decent drop...I've seen way better from you...the rhyme scheme kinda played out and got a tad bit annoying...I'm not really a fan of those in poetry..it began to feel somewhat of a topical piece..after the first lines..but the imagery was here and there..kinda simple..and didn't have much impact..but the emotion is wut really stood out to me in this piece..so overall decent drop...but nowhere near your best..

Thanks, I personally love the rhyming.. but each to their own.

budump.

decent poem. the rhyme scheme did piss me off a bit though, - what with being so predictable and all, other than that - wording was good, and had a good splash of imagery here and there, rhythm seemed ok, could of maybe been more dynamic...
topic was ok, diddnt leave too much of a lasting impression in all truth

a decent read still

pz

Im wondering do people just get banned for no reason on here? I got banned for no reason without any warning. Im wondering, do a 12 year old kid run this site? I probably will get banned just for saying what I just said... lol. or I might just get banned because I just wrote this. lol

I believe things such as banning should be obsolete because of the simple fact of, what's the worst problem do you think you would have out of a member that just knowledgeable of the rules than a member that don't know the rules at all? No problem. Why? Because it's a Rap Battle forum where people come to chill out and do what the forum allows them to do.

I just believe if people make a mistake on the website warn them. Don't just ban them when they didn't really know. A whole lot of people come on this board and don't read the rules because they already know what they want to do on the website. If they do something that you don't agree with, then tell them not to do it again, don't just up and ban them because they might not have known.

And not only that, you as Administrators decreasing the population of members that keeps this site active. Some people don't like to have to create another email account just to get back on to the site. That's why you get other people from different forums send them invites to other sites. And guess what? once you ban one person that did get the invite they create another account just to get more people to the other website that might soon be banned for something petty which is (NO Reason).

"Everybody makes mistakes, that's what make us human." - A Wise Man

your rhyme scheme got a bit aggravating after awhile... Use less systematic rhyme scheme...
You some dope imagery that was really good. Others, not so much... Lip stick/black sky was brilliant though ;).
Id repost this in the topical thing if I were you, because its got a heavy flow to it SOOO...
Either way it isnt bad... Take the criticism from the good heads and re-write the thing and see what you can change and reform to make the drop that much better.
Well done sir!