Behind the painted smile

Behind the painted smile- love loss
http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w...rs_ldghdgd.jpg
Swimming in broken mirrors, splashing in the shards…
Searching for a slice of yesterday; a painted smile to,
Cloth the naked truth; Precious to the minds eye,
Yet blinded by the reality of the past in silent shadows.
The embers of time must be released from heart,
Yet memories are all her life holds for sanity’s existence.
A child’s cry wraps around her soul like carnivorous ivy,
Breathing is no longer a necessity, for redemption has no
Home in which to breed. Force fed oxygen, through lungs
Of blackened ashes; scars deliver a permanent reminder
Of a path no longer visible, & where under the rainbow
Lays the pot of hope? In which without life seems so bland.

Seeds of sorrow seduce the sedative serenity of silence,
To birth a new death, & whisper blundering wisdom
Of numb notion into the ears of passing turmoil & shame

Rivers run black, for ashes bring tears to the skies eyes,
Yet rush ever closer to their puddle like graves on a the
Marble floor she lays; although her veins run below
Room temperature, to embrace the shivers would surely
Be too painful to bare, yet below her lays a colder entity
In which her previous life was obsessed with.

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Masked by the alexia of life, yet suffocated by her own decisions,
The storm of stress tore her vision through Lucifer’s juice
For a brief moment of clarity & relaxation, however, relaxation
Was to be the very cause of the burnt out dreams she held so tight.
Disembowelled by one swift blow of the samurai sword,
Trembles began a relationship with fragile shimmers of love.
She burry’s the truth deep within her tears, never to be decoded
By anything that possesses a pulse; what people don’t know,
They cannot judge. Yet the summer breeze the whisked her
Away into paradise also hides the deep dark secret in her stony
Resting ground; never able to unravel the venom that lies within.

A hatred for the flesh manifests into love for the pungent scent
Of melting finger tips, in which will never touch the golden
Hair of that she treasured so dearly again; with a smile of
Denial she skips the future and washes herself upon the shores
Of the past; to a time when her love was still firmly cradled
In her grasp, a deed always to remember, but NEVER to retract
A stare of lifeless eyes, confirms a child’s laughter is no more.


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Awaking from a slumber, to find plastic mutilated by
Burning teardrops, from which her child had sang
Deep into the night; Dancing in desperation as the
Flames singed her hypnotic eyelids, scent of boiling blood
Infuriated her as she made attempts to replenish her
Daughter’s heart beat to suit the rhythm of Tortured screams
Of a lone violin, mannequins fall limp to their deaths,
And taste the wine of a virgin’s blood curdling cries.
Forced into recognition, the flames seeds grew larger to the
Naked eye, pealing flesh as she whispered her fury

Lungs tare into shards of memory as each cry for a
Mother’s reflection draws the little girl closer to
A premature sleep, a sleep in which she can never awake.

‘MUMMY, MUMMY, MUMMY!!’

As mother’s feet met oak wood, nothing could save
That soul she loved, the violins falls short of breath
Until no longer can he play his symphony oh hope,
And then… silence


http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w...ios/banksy.gif
The fault of alcohol and cigarettes she holds blame to,
Ifs, buts and maybes could never bring her child from grave
To side; in a moment of lack of responsibility the elements
Tore her heart in mid beat, & shredded her insignificant
Existence into a lingering guilt trip of sorrow, she bled
For her child whom shared the same blood as she
Yet only ones blood continues to flow through veins
Of acidic vengeance upon self, till death do us part she cried.

People say she looks well again, yet when she glances
At her own reflection she visions scars of loneliness,
& The mirror smashes once again, to create an abstract
Canvas of animosity and lust for life

Breathe cut short, no longer can she stand the shadows;
Glancing at the moon she speaks words to the stars
Above, ‘don’t worry darling, I’m coming’ & as
The candles fall to their suicidal entities, the marble floor
Once again tastes the sweet sound of silence.

‘Don’t worry my darling mummy’s coming’

Laughter falls victim to flickers

-Poeta

I'd appreciate feed people, took a fair long time to write this piece.

Thanks fuckers.

Grrowwl, Feed Niccas.

Upping agaiiin.

sooo... cigarette starts fire, daughter dies, mom starts fire and kills herself
Tragic...

But really lol, dope story and beautifully executed man, this was seriously amazing for the most part. My only gripe is that sometimes, especially in the beginning, you actually overly described some things, some lines carried on and I felt you didnt need so many descriptive words...personal preference tho, I really liked the descriptiveness for the most part as well as the thought you put into this. Nice job buddy



please peep http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=326599

Fuck these sleeping whores.

Yo man, I nearly pissed myself at that first image. Scarry dude lol. The Story behind each thing is fucking incredible. I thought the ending was gonna be way different but you perfected a different way. I cant really talk about your wordplay. It's too good to make up a word for. This is by far one of my favorite peices from you man, keep it up and hit up Good Meets Evil please. *Nominates*

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=327589

just remembered about getting to this, lateness is better than neverness, yeah its a word...

anyway not really someone that likes pictures in Poetry since i learned how much easier it is for the writer to get something across with one. But i have to say you made this one work because of how much detailed description you actually put into the piece and + those pictures are hella good. yeh so i already complimented the detail but ill pick out a few lines. maybe mainly the lines i just liked on a whole


As mother’s feet met oak wood, nothing could save
That soul she loved, the violins falls short of breath
Until no longer can he play his symphony oh hope,
And then… silence

^ that was perfect. scene was set perfectly using a very nicely worded metaphor

okay so that stood out only because it was that good.. overall it was a nice piece, stayed consistent throughout in a long read, kept me wanting to read more. lovely piece.. swift feedback cos ive got a couple of things to write whilst i got time. pz

Your writing and descriptive ability are awesome.
I especially liked the line about the lone violin...very symbolic, very morose...I always relate well to music, even in description. It's one of the best ways to capture a mood in a line of writing.
Anyways, I'm going to recommend to tik that you be in Word Perfect. This piece not only shows tremendous ability but also the dedication and time to craft really long, involved pieces with an excellent outcome.
Great work.

Behind the painted smile- love loss

A child’s cry wraps around her soul like carnivorous ivy,

the greatest picture painted for me in this piece was this line. Just because it said more to me than what the rest of the framwork of your first section. I only read the beginning construct, only because ive got other work to get to. But I took the time enough to sit through and get a good read. I think that the construct of the poem is a shadow of thoughts continuing through time. So to me the rest was an expression of words spoken before. The line I commented on I feel was the greatest expression of your individuality and I think painted an original picture for me.


Igido

wow, man... im sorry for not dropping sooner.. lately i just havent been in the mood for long pieces.. your writing ability is fucking amazing, man.. very dope worded metaphors throughout the whole piece. the detailed descriptions were incredible.. even stayed consistent through the whole read.. the images were some shit.. exspecially that baby all burned up... you had excellent wordplay.. what else can i really say, man.. this WAS the greatest piece Ive seen in Poetic Scriptures since I came to RB.. great work, yo... ill keep an eye out for more..

In a word; intense. Wow man, i'm not much of a poetry reader which this piece really drew me in. The imagery was uberstrong and consistent and the story which threaded all these abstract images together was original and heartfelt. You made the central charecter really easy to visualise and sympathise with, and the final twists of the piece, the images of her 'painted smile' shattering made for a strong finish along with the dialogue between mother and dead child.

Great stuff, keep posting.

upping.