10 Lines.
Due in 24 Hours.
John J. Don't vote, Hell don't even look in this thread.
Feedback links dude in 24 as well.
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10 Lines.
Due in 24 Hours.
John J. Don't vote, Hell don't even look in this thread.
Feedback links dude in 24 as well.
check
I'm droppin bombs on this fool, his watch stops like a dead clock,
Unlike his name, hes traumatized by my attacks so hes shell shocked,
Shell shock, not even the highest military psychatricts could treat you,
only 5 posts? hell, mad lib rhymes wouldn't be much to beat you,
This fool is just another noob, and will end up like my last fake,
im blitzin this krieg, heavy hittin like miami heat's fast breaks,
hes got no biographical information, musta been shot by friendly fire,
runs inside his crib when he thinks he hears guns, its actually me burnin out tires,
If i came back from iraq id have a block party type parade when i came home,
body this bitch up, have his grave next to the tombs of the unknowns
ok here goes..
you got balls steppin to me, trying to cum correct w/no right.. testy
this hoes like my last two periods 1 for ya head & other explains what he like monthly
i aint gotta look at ya history foo, this mystery true i aint seeing u
if you was worth the time i give it a few, wrist gets popped then stop his watch too
we can go shot for shot but he'll get it twisted cuz john mixed his sunny d with whine
end his career for all time, his call sign should be the guy holdin a mall sign
he aint feel right im a newcomer, he panhandling for wins what a bummer
its summer for ya, u still wont wouldnt hold heat wearin lebrons number
you'll get hype one day, just hit the block yell a scream & gun play
like yeah this will be fun hey i footballs jeff gets took to church any given sunday
blah
cool....
uppp to the top
upp to the top
Jeffryboy
I'm droppin bombs on this fool, his watch stops like a dead clock,
Unlike his name, hes traumatized by my attacks so hes shell shocked,
kinda weak couldve been more witty
Shell shock, not even the highest military psychatricts could treat you,
only 5 posts? hell, mad lib rhymes wouldn't be much to beat you,
set up was stronger then the punch...
This fool is just another noob, and will end up like my last fake,
im blitzin this krieg, heavy hittin like miami heat's fast breaks,
not bad i startin to like it now
hes got no biographical information, musta been shot by friendly fire,
runs inside his crib when he thinks he hears guns, its actually me burnin out tires,
nah wasnt diggin it to stretched
If i came back from iraq id have a block party type parade when i came home,
body this bitch up, have his grave next to the tombs of the unknowns
lol i liked this one
vs
Shell Shocked
you got balls steppin to me, trying to cum correct w/no right.. testy
this hoes like my last two periods 1 for ya head & other explains what he like monthly
set up hit harder then punchline
i aint gotta look at ya history foo, this mystery true i aint seeing u
if you was worth the time i give it a few, wrist gets popped then stop his watch too
lol i dont think your allowed to flip bars
we can go shot for shot but he'll get it twisted cuz john mixed his sunny d with whine
end his career for all time, his call sign should be the guy holdin a mall sign
kinda meh, your stretching your bars a bit
he aint feel right im a newcomer, he panhandling for wins what a bummer
its summer for ya, u still wont wouldnt hold heat wearin lebrons number
lol this was ok, i think ive heard it somewhere though
you'll get hype one day, just hit the block yell a scream & gun play
like yeah this will be fun hey i footballs jeff gets took to church any given sunday
to stretched and just had no punch cuz of it
this was actually a kinda close battle imo, both had a few lines tha were decent
shell you had really stretched bars but you used multis to keep it going, just try cuttin down or not using multis for the sake of it cuz it took some strength off your hits
jeffry id say make your rhyme scheme bigger and try some fresher concepts and maybe a little bit of wordplay
but mvgt = JEFFRY by edgin it
Jeffryboy
I'm droppin bombs on this fool, his watch stops like a dead clock,
Unlike his name, hes traumatized by my attacks so hes shell shocked,
kinda weak couldve been more witty
Shell shock, not even the highest military psychatricts could treat you,
only 5 posts? hell, mad lib rhymes wouldn't be much to beat you,
set up was stronger then the punch...
This fool is just another noob, and will end up like my last fake,
im blitzin this krieg, heavy hittin like miami heat's fast breaks,
not bad i startin to like it now
hes got no biographical information, musta been shot by friendly fire,
runs inside his crib when he thinks he hears guns, its actually me burnin out tires,
nah wasnt diggin it to stretched
If i came back from iraq id have a block party type parade when i came home,
body this bitch up, have his grave next to the tombs of the unknowns
lol i liked this one
vs
Shell Shocked
you got balls steppin to me, trying to cum correct w/no right.. testy
this hoes like my last two periods 1 for ya head & other explains what he like monthly
set up hit harder then punchline
i aint gotta look at ya history foo, this mystery true i aint seeing u
if you was worth the time i give it a few, wrist gets popped then stop his watch too
lol i dont think your allowed to flip bars
we can go shot for shot but he'll get it twisted cuz john mixed his sunny d with whine
end his career for all time, his call sign should be the guy holdin a mall sign
kinda meh, your stretching your bars a bit
he aint feel right im a newcomer, he panhandling for wins what a bummer
its summer for ya, u still wont wouldnt hold heat wearin lebrons number
lol this was ok, i think ive heard it somewhere though
you'll get hype one day, just hit the block yell a scream & gun play
like yeah this will be fun hey i footballs jeff gets took to church any given sunday
to stretched and just had no punch cuz of it
this was actually a kinda close battle imo, both had a few lines tha were decent
shell you had really stretched bars but you used multis to keep it going, just try cuttin down or not using multis for the sake of it cuz it took some strength off your hits
jeffry id say make your rhyme scheme bigger and try some fresher concepts and maybe a little bit of wordplay
but mvgt = JEFFRY by edgin it
Jeffrey
I'm droppin bombs on this fool, his watch stops like a dead clock,
Unlike his name, hes traumatized by my attacks so hes shell shocked,
Good attempt with nameplay flip not hardhitting but good idea
Shell shock, not even the highest military psychatricts could treat you,
only 5 posts? hell, mad lib rhymes wouldn't be much to beat you,
nice direct
This fool is just another noob, and will end up like my last fake,
im blitzin this krieg, heavy hittin like miami heat's fast breaks,
ok direct punch cool wordplay ok metaphore
hes got no biographical information, musta been shot by friendly fire,
runs inside his crib when he thinks he hears guns, its actually me burnin out tires,
1st line was cool shoulda reworded second one better
If i came back from iraq id have a block party type parade when i came home,
body this bitch up, have his grave next to the tombs of the unknowns
nice impact here
Shellshock
you got balls steppin to me, trying to cum correct w/no right.. testy
this hoes like my last two periods 1 for ya head & other explains what he like monthly
too stretched kind off takes interest off the punchline
i aint gotta look at ya history foo, this mystery true i aint seeing u
if you was worth the time i give it a few, wrist gets popped then stop his watch too
i seen u kinda flipped off jeffreys bars here ok attempt but again wording needs work
we can go shot for shot but he'll get it twisted cuz john mixed his sunny d with whine
end his career for all time, his call sign should be the guy holdin a mall sign
again too stretched
he aint feel right im a newcomer, he panhandling for wins what a bummer
its summer for ya, u still wont wouldnt hold heat wearin lebrons number
best line in ur verse
you'll get hype one day, just hit the block yell a scream & gun play
like yeah this will be fun hey i footballs jeff gets took to church any given sunday
need to shorten ur bars up here
V/ JEFFREY
I thought Jeffrey had some better punches. There were times he could of reworded some of his but overall i see a improvement. Shellshock u just need to work on shortening up ur bars and having better setups.
vote people....uppp
ehh both need to work on alot..jeffy has the better idea of how a punch is developed..wording killed yah both here and not alot of impact
but jeffy gmv for that shell shocked line
Jeff
I'm droppin bombs on this fool, his watch stops like a dead clock,
Unlike his name, hes traumatized by my attacks so hes shell shocked,
Ok opener...ok attempt at the nameplay! 3/5
Shell shock, not even the highest military psychatricts could treat you,
only 5 posts? hell, mad lib rhymes wouldn't be much to beat you,
No...punch didnt hit at all. The setup was a better attempt at a punch than the actual punch. 1.5/5
This fool is just another noob, and will end up like my last fake,
im blitzin this krieg, heavy hittin like miami heat's fast breaks,
The setup had an attempt at a punch but the second line was mostly self-hype
1/5
hes got no biographical information, musta been shot by friendly fire,
runs inside his crib when he thinks he hears guns, its actually me burnin out tires,
Not feeling at all...concept was weak & the bar is stretched! 0/5
If i came back from iraq id have a block party type parade when i came home,
body this bitch up, have his grave next to the tombs of the unknowns
Not feeling... 1/5
Total: 6.5/25
vs
SS
you got balls steppin to me, trying to cum correct w/no right.. testy
this hoes like my last two periods 1 for ya head & other explains what he like monthly
Ok I get the concept but it didnt connect because of the wording. 1/5
i aint gotta look at ya history foo, this mystery true i aint seeing u
if you was worth the time i give it a few, wrist gets popped then stop his watch too
Nah...weak! 1/5
we can go shot for shot but he'll get it twisted cuz john mixed his sunny d with whine
end his career for all time, his call sign should be the guy holdin a mall sign
Que? Flow was off, wording was horrible, there wasnt even a real punch here. 0/5
he aint feel right im a newcomer, he panhandling for wins what a bummer
its summer for ya, u still wont wouldnt hold heat wearin lebrons number
Concept played... 1/5
You'll get hype one day, just hit the block yell a scream & gun play
like yeah this will be fun hey i footballs jeff gets took to church any given sunday
Wording was horrible & concept was lame 0/5
Total: 3/25
One of the weakest battles that I have ever seen. Neither side outshined the other. Both had weak punches, played concepts, bad wording, & flow/structure was off. But...
v/Jeff
He had better consistency, even though none of the punches were actually that good!
bump to the top
upp
I'm droppin bombs on this fool, his watch stops like a dead clock,
Unlike his name, hes traumatized by my attacks so hes shell shocked,
-meh opener. ok concept, but could have hit harder imo
Shell shock, not even the highest military psychatricts could treat you,
only 5 posts? hell, mad lib rhymes wouldn't be much to beat you,
-weak
This fool is just another noob, and will end up like my last fake,
im blitzin this krieg, heavy hittin like miami heat's fast breaks,
-ok
hes got no biographical information, musta been shot by friendly fire,
runs inside his crib when he thinks he hears guns, its actually me burnin out tires,
-not feeling this one
If i came back from iraq id have a block party type parade when i came home,
body this bitch up, have his grave next to the tombs of the unknowns
-weak closer
vs.
you got balls steppin to me, trying to cum correct w/no right.. testy
this hoes like my last two periods 1 for ya head & other explains what he like monthly
-weak opener
i aint gotta look at ya history foo, this mystery true i aint seeing u
if you was worth the time i give it a few, wrist gets popped then stop his watch too
-naw... stretched concept
we can go shot for shot but he'll get it twisted cuz john mixed his sunny d with whine
end his career for all time, his call sign should be the guy holdin a mall sign
-no
he aint feel right im a newcomer, he panhandling for wins what a bummer
its summer for ya, u still wont wouldnt hold heat wearin lebrons number
-probably your best bar, however, the 'won't wouldn't' wording hurt you
you'll get hype one day, just hit the block yell a scream & gun play
like yeah this will be fun hey i footballs jeff gets took to church any given sunday
-weak closer... bad wording and concept executed horribly
Vote: Jeffry for the sub par nameplay on the opener and the wordplay on the Miami Heat line. Both of you had a lot of misses, but Jeff had better attemps overall. No hate to either... Keep elevating!
I'm droppin bombs on this fool, his watch stops like a dead clock,
Unlike his name, hes traumatized by my attacks so hes shell shocked,
Weak and predictable
vs
nothing
Jeff got this cuz he actually threw punches.